(and now, for something completely different...)
Tom Waits
SHORE LEAVE
Well with buck shot eyes and a purple heart
I rolled down the national stroll
and with a big fat paycheck
strapped to my hip sack
and a shore leave wristwatch underneath
my sleeve
in a Hong Kong drizzle on Cuban heels
I rowed down the gutter to the Blood Bank
and I'd left all my papers on the Ticonderoga
and was in a bad need of a shave
and so I slopped at the corner on cold chow mein
and shot billards with a midget
until the rain stopped
and I bought a long sleeved shirt
with horses on the front
and some gum and a lighter and a knife
and a new deck of cards (with girls on the back)
and I sat down and wrote a letter to my wife
and I said Baby, I'm so far away from home
and I miss my Baby so
I can't make it by myself
I love you so
Well I was pacing myself
trying to make it all last
squeezing all the life
out of a lousy two day pass
and I had a cold one at the Dragon
with some Filipino floor show
and talked baseball with a lieutenant
over a Singapore sling
and I wondered how the same moon outside
over this Chinatown fair
could look down on Illinois
and find you there
and you know I love you Baby
and I'm so far away from home
and I miss my Baby so
I can't make it by myself
I love you so
Shore Leave...
Shore Leave...
woensdag, september 08, 2004
maandag, september 06, 2004
Bush Calls Terrorist Hurricane "Barbaric" and "Cowardly"
Washington, DC - The White House and President Jesus Bush branded the terrorist Hurricane attack of Florida "barbaric", "cowardly" and "despicable", proving yet again his utter mastery of the English language, and additionally said responsibility for lost lives rests with the terrorists who created the Hurricane.
"Our thoughts are with the people of Florida during this difficult time. We extend our deepest condolences to the families of the victims," White House spokesman Scott McClellan said Monday. "There is no justification for the taking of innocent life, and the barbaric nature of this terrorist act is despicable."
McClellan added: "The responsibility for the tragic loss of life rests with the terrorists. The United States stands side-by-side with Florida in our global fight against terrorism."
President Bush was briefed on developments in Florida before a re-election rally in Pennsylvania. He did not talk about the Hurricane terrorism during his speech. But spent several moments to himself looking defiantly into the mirror and pointing his finger at his image threateningly.
"This cowardly act of creating a hurricane to attack Florida shows why America has to remain resolute against terrorism and vote for me instead of that crazy, cowardly, flipflopper Kerry in the presidential election," Bush stated during a brief press conference. "We saw the horror of terror in Florida and I can just imagine the heartfelt anguish of the all the people of Florida," Bush told a forum in Broadview Heights, Ohio.
"That is why this country must be strong and diligent and never yielding. We must bring them to justice, and put an end to bad weather controlled by evil terrorists" he said.
Washington, DC - The White House and President Jesus Bush branded the terrorist Hurricane attack of Florida "barbaric", "cowardly" and "despicable", proving yet again his utter mastery of the English language, and additionally said responsibility for lost lives rests with the terrorists who created the Hurricane.
"Our thoughts are with the people of Florida during this difficult time. We extend our deepest condolences to the families of the victims," White House spokesman Scott McClellan said Monday. "There is no justification for the taking of innocent life, and the barbaric nature of this terrorist act is despicable."
McClellan added: "The responsibility for the tragic loss of life rests with the terrorists. The United States stands side-by-side with Florida in our global fight against terrorism."
President Bush was briefed on developments in Florida before a re-election rally in Pennsylvania. He did not talk about the Hurricane terrorism during his speech. But spent several moments to himself looking defiantly into the mirror and pointing his finger at his image threateningly.
"This cowardly act of creating a hurricane to attack Florida shows why America has to remain resolute against terrorism and vote for me instead of that crazy, cowardly, flipflopper Kerry in the presidential election," Bush stated during a brief press conference. "We saw the horror of terror in Florida and I can just imagine the heartfelt anguish of the all the people of Florida," Bush told a forum in Broadview Heights, Ohio.
"That is why this country must be strong and diligent and never yielding. We must bring them to justice, and put an end to bad weather controlled by evil terrorists" he said.
vrijdag, september 03, 2004
Bush:"Nothing Can Save Us But Me"
President Accepts Nomination
NEW YORK, Sept. 2 -- President Jesus Bush accepted the Republican nomination for a second term Thursday night with a lofty speech casting his reelection as crucial to the spread of the killing and destruction of girlie men and terrorists across the world and to the ensure Americans at home remain clouded by fear and terror of fear so that they do not bother examining the lethal combination of deception and distortion practiced by his ruling party.
In an address that cast concern over the dearth of domestic policy proposals as just another tool of terrorism, Bush delivered an wooden yet emotional appeal of faux sincerity and concern that has been the hallmark of his tunnel-vision Administration. Killing and war profits are the only way to keep America safe and he reminded Americans last night that he should be viewed as the leader best suited to keep the nation well-grounded in fear, allowing people like Vice President Dick Cheney to continue to reap the benefits of terrorising America so that it bends to his iron-hearted will.
The president proposed a simplification of the federal tax code (y'all pay and we don't) and renewed his call for a revamped Social Security program (y'all get nothin' and we get the rest) and a host of smaller initiatives ranging from medical savings accounts that can later be filched by the federal government to more testing of high-school seniors to make sure they aren't terrorists. But he devoted the bulk of his speech, and his rhetorical flourishes, to the national security message that forms the core of his candidacy.
"Be scared, my fellow Americans. The turrists are out to get us and nothing can save you from them but me."
President Bush Thursday night accepted his party's renomination and unveiled his agenda for a second term that would include ambitious domestic initiatives (spy on your parents, hate your enemies and do not tolerate girlie men) and a commitment to do "whatever it takes" to safeguard America against terrorism and to ensure Vice President Cheney's lifelong commitment to himself never wanes. In other words: Terrorism, terrorism, terrorism. Because it works.
"This moment in the life of our country will be remembered," he told the delegates from a podium at the center of Madison Square Garden. "Generations will know if we kept our faith in Jesus Christ, our only saviour and the only son of God, and kept our word to kill as many non-believers as humanly possible. Generations will know if we seized this moment and used it to build a future of terror and destruction unmatched even by those cowardly terrorists and Democrats. The freedom of many, and the future security of our nation, now depend on how many of the enemy we can kill."
The speech began and ended with references to the Sept. 11, 2001, attacks on this city, and the response to terrorism was woven through the 5,000-word address, the majority of which, due to there being nothing else worth talking about apparently, was devoted to national security. After all, what better way to keep Americans in the darkness of fear than to constantly remind them of some tragic event that happened almost three years ago as though it happened every day of their lives? "In the heart of this great city, we saw tragedy arrive on a quiet morning," Bush said, as though reading a children's story to a class of second graders at the beginning of the address. Toward the end, he added: "My fellow Americans, for as long as our country stands, people will look to the resurrection of New York City and they will say: Here buildings fell, and here a nation rose. Two three, chachacha, and only we Republicans were smart enough to know how to exploit that fact"
Bush's prime-time speech wrapped up a four-day convention characterized by repeated praise of his terrorism-fighting credentials which include moments like personally killing Saddam Hussein and Osama bin Laden with his bare hands, bitter criticism of Democratic challenger John F. Kerry's character and policies because he isn't as single-minded and as focused as the president and terrorism, blablabla, terrorism, blablabla, terrorism.
Though protests against President Jesus Bush were generally calm, arrests exceeded 1,700 for the week -- nearly triple the number from the violent 1968 Democratic National Convention in Chicago. A judge ruled Thursday that the police illegally held hundreds of anti-Bush demonstrators without charges or access to lawyers for more than 40 hours.
But hey, this is a war on terrorism and anything goes in the name of saving America from terrorists and Democrats all in the name of Jesus Christ.
President Accepts Nomination
NEW YORK, Sept. 2 -- President Jesus Bush accepted the Republican nomination for a second term Thursday night with a lofty speech casting his reelection as crucial to the spread of the killing and destruction of girlie men and terrorists across the world and to the ensure Americans at home remain clouded by fear and terror of fear so that they do not bother examining the lethal combination of deception and distortion practiced by his ruling party.
In an address that cast concern over the dearth of domestic policy proposals as just another tool of terrorism, Bush delivered an wooden yet emotional appeal of faux sincerity and concern that has been the hallmark of his tunnel-vision Administration. Killing and war profits are the only way to keep America safe and he reminded Americans last night that he should be viewed as the leader best suited to keep the nation well-grounded in fear, allowing people like Vice President Dick Cheney to continue to reap the benefits of terrorising America so that it bends to his iron-hearted will.
The president proposed a simplification of the federal tax code (y'all pay and we don't) and renewed his call for a revamped Social Security program (y'all get nothin' and we get the rest) and a host of smaller initiatives ranging from medical savings accounts that can later be filched by the federal government to more testing of high-school seniors to make sure they aren't terrorists. But he devoted the bulk of his speech, and his rhetorical flourishes, to the national security message that forms the core of his candidacy.
"Be scared, my fellow Americans. The turrists are out to get us and nothing can save you from them but me."
President Bush Thursday night accepted his party's renomination and unveiled his agenda for a second term that would include ambitious domestic initiatives (spy on your parents, hate your enemies and do not tolerate girlie men) and a commitment to do "whatever it takes" to safeguard America against terrorism and to ensure Vice President Cheney's lifelong commitment to himself never wanes. In other words: Terrorism, terrorism, terrorism. Because it works.
"This moment in the life of our country will be remembered," he told the delegates from a podium at the center of Madison Square Garden. "Generations will know if we kept our faith in Jesus Christ, our only saviour and the only son of God, and kept our word to kill as many non-believers as humanly possible. Generations will know if we seized this moment and used it to build a future of terror and destruction unmatched even by those cowardly terrorists and Democrats. The freedom of many, and the future security of our nation, now depend on how many of the enemy we can kill."
The speech began and ended with references to the Sept. 11, 2001, attacks on this city, and the response to terrorism was woven through the 5,000-word address, the majority of which, due to there being nothing else worth talking about apparently, was devoted to national security. After all, what better way to keep Americans in the darkness of fear than to constantly remind them of some tragic event that happened almost three years ago as though it happened every day of their lives? "In the heart of this great city, we saw tragedy arrive on a quiet morning," Bush said, as though reading a children's story to a class of second graders at the beginning of the address. Toward the end, he added: "My fellow Americans, for as long as our country stands, people will look to the resurrection of New York City and they will say: Here buildings fell, and here a nation rose. Two three, chachacha, and only we Republicans were smart enough to know how to exploit that fact"
Bush's prime-time speech wrapped up a four-day convention characterized by repeated praise of his terrorism-fighting credentials which include moments like personally killing Saddam Hussein and Osama bin Laden with his bare hands, bitter criticism of Democratic challenger John F. Kerry's character and policies because he isn't as single-minded and as focused as the president and terrorism, blablabla, terrorism, blablabla, terrorism.
Though protests against President Jesus Bush were generally calm, arrests exceeded 1,700 for the week -- nearly triple the number from the violent 1968 Democratic National Convention in Chicago. A judge ruled Thursday that the police illegally held hundreds of anti-Bush demonstrators without charges or access to lawyers for more than 40 hours.
But hey, this is a war on terrorism and anything goes in the name of saving America from terrorists and Democrats all in the name of Jesus Christ.
donderdag, september 02, 2004
CHENEY AND GOP MOUNT VIGOROUS ASSAULT ON KERRY
"We Need More Blood And Oil"
Declaring that the nation's fundamental source of blood and oil was at stake in the presidential election, Vice President Dick Cheney said yesterday that Senator John Kerry did not "love the shedding of blood nor the gushing of oil enough" and failed to appreciate the urgency with which "bloodsucking leeches and war profiteers like myself" need the constant threat of terror and fear to keep the flow of blood and oil coming.
Mr. Cheney's remarks were part of a vigorous assault that he and his party mounted on Mr. Kerry's domestic and foreign policy credentials, coupled with a spirited defense of President Bush's ability to destroy both the American and Iraqi economy simultaneously, as the Republicans gathered for the third night of their nominating convention in New York.
"He talks about loving killing and helping Haliburton reap massive war profits, as though we will be impressed with his harder side," Mr. Cheney said of Mr. Kerry, speaking in a somber tone to a crowd that interrupted him with nonsequetorious shouts of "U.S.A." - "Blood For Oil" as he recalled the terrorist attacks of Sept. 11 and how much Haliburton has profited from them.
"He declared at the Democratic Convention that he will forcefully defend Haliburton and my interests in Haliburton -- after we have been attacked," Mr. Cheney continued. "My fellow Americans, we have already been attacked, and faced with the growing possibility that there will not be enough Iraqis to kill or enough oil to keep our mechanical hearts beating, we cannot wait for the next attack. We must continue killing and continue reaping huge war profits for Haliburton or they will cut off my pacemaker!"
Mr. Cheney led a parade of Republicans - and one Democrat - in an orchestrated evening intended to undercut Mr. Kerry's commander-in-chief credentials while also trying to seize the ground on economic issues. The speakers stood in front of a banner that read "Land of Opportunity For Dick Cheney And Haliburton And The Rest of You Can Have The Crumbs" as they attributed the economic difficulties of the past four years to "girly man Democrats, gay marriage and not enough killing to satisfy the Board of Haliburton. They asserted that the economy of Haliburton was on the rise again but would easily be destroyed again if a "pacifist faery like Kerry" were elected.
The party formally nominated Mr. Bush to run for a second term at 8:09 p.m.
Mr. Kerry's running-mate, Senator John Edwards of North Carolina, issued a statement shortly after the Republicans adjourned, saying: "There was a lot of hate coming from that podium tonight. What John Kerry and I offer to the American people is hope because goddamn it, I can weave heart warming tales of downtrodden, lower middle class families like nobody's business."
Republicans enlisted the Democrat who delivered the keynote address at the 1992 Democratic convention that nominated Bill Clinton, Senator Zell Miller of Georgia, to offer the keynote for the Republicans, which amounted to a memorably brutal attack on Mr. Kerry and the Democratic Party. Mr. Miller, a Southern conservative who has grown increasingly alienated from his party because they have not expressed a vigorous enough love of Haliburton's profits and killing foreigners, said Democrats had placed partisan politics over national security during this time of war and portrayed Mr. Kerry as a "girly-man," self-indulgent and indecisive.
"For more than 20 years, on every one of the great issues of freedom and security, John Kerry has been more wrong, more weak and more wobbly than any other national figure," Mr. Miller said, adding: "George Bush loves killing more than anyone and wants to grab terrorists by the throat and slash their throats and let Dick Cheney drink their blood. From John Kerry, they get a 'yes-no-maybe' bowl of mush that can only encourage our enemies and confuse our friends."
"We Need More Blood And Oil"
Declaring that the nation's fundamental source of blood and oil was at stake in the presidential election, Vice President Dick Cheney said yesterday that Senator John Kerry did not "love the shedding of blood nor the gushing of oil enough" and failed to appreciate the urgency with which "bloodsucking leeches and war profiteers like myself" need the constant threat of terror and fear to keep the flow of blood and oil coming.
Mr. Cheney's remarks were part of a vigorous assault that he and his party mounted on Mr. Kerry's domestic and foreign policy credentials, coupled with a spirited defense of President Bush's ability to destroy both the American and Iraqi economy simultaneously, as the Republicans gathered for the third night of their nominating convention in New York.
"He talks about loving killing and helping Haliburton reap massive war profits, as though we will be impressed with his harder side," Mr. Cheney said of Mr. Kerry, speaking in a somber tone to a crowd that interrupted him with nonsequetorious shouts of "U.S.A." - "Blood For Oil" as he recalled the terrorist attacks of Sept. 11 and how much Haliburton has profited from them.
"He declared at the Democratic Convention that he will forcefully defend Haliburton and my interests in Haliburton -- after we have been attacked," Mr. Cheney continued. "My fellow Americans, we have already been attacked, and faced with the growing possibility that there will not be enough Iraqis to kill or enough oil to keep our mechanical hearts beating, we cannot wait for the next attack. We must continue killing and continue reaping huge war profits for Haliburton or they will cut off my pacemaker!"
Mr. Cheney led a parade of Republicans - and one Democrat - in an orchestrated evening intended to undercut Mr. Kerry's commander-in-chief credentials while also trying to seize the ground on economic issues. The speakers stood in front of a banner that read "Land of Opportunity For Dick Cheney And Haliburton And The Rest of You Can Have The Crumbs" as they attributed the economic difficulties of the past four years to "girly man Democrats, gay marriage and not enough killing to satisfy the Board of Haliburton. They asserted that the economy of Haliburton was on the rise again but would easily be destroyed again if a "pacifist faery like Kerry" were elected.
The party formally nominated Mr. Bush to run for a second term at 8:09 p.m.
Mr. Kerry's running-mate, Senator John Edwards of North Carolina, issued a statement shortly after the Republicans adjourned, saying: "There was a lot of hate coming from that podium tonight. What John Kerry and I offer to the American people is hope because goddamn it, I can weave heart warming tales of downtrodden, lower middle class families like nobody's business."
Republicans enlisted the Democrat who delivered the keynote address at the 1992 Democratic convention that nominated Bill Clinton, Senator Zell Miller of Georgia, to offer the keynote for the Republicans, which amounted to a memorably brutal attack on Mr. Kerry and the Democratic Party. Mr. Miller, a Southern conservative who has grown increasingly alienated from his party because they have not expressed a vigorous enough love of Haliburton's profits and killing foreigners, said Democrats had placed partisan politics over national security during this time of war and portrayed Mr. Kerry as a "girly-man," self-indulgent and indecisive.
"For more than 20 years, on every one of the great issues of freedom and security, John Kerry has been more wrong, more weak and more wobbly than any other national figure," Mr. Miller said, adding: "George Bush loves killing more than anyone and wants to grab terrorists by the throat and slash their throats and let Dick Cheney drink their blood. From John Kerry, they get a 'yes-no-maybe' bowl of mush that can only encourage our enemies and confuse our friends."
woensdag, september 01, 2004
BUSH BACKTRACKS ON TERRORISM REMARK?!
Say It Ain't So Kids! President Bush Flip Flops Like A Fish On A Hook?!
NASHVILLE, Aug. 31 -- President Jesus Bush rushed Tuesday to flip flop about his bold and great leader-like assertion that the war on terrorism cannot be won, as his campaign sought to limit the damage from a statement that despite all the rahrah from the convention, shows the commander in chief as defeatist.
"Make no mistake about it: We are winning and we will win," Bush told the 86th annual convention of the American Legion as he continued his journey toward the Republican National Convention for his acceptance speech Thursday night, "Unless of course, we don't win the war because it isn't winnable and even if it were, I'm only making things worse, not better, almost ensuring inevitable defeat." He said that "in this different kind of war, this funny kind of non-existent weapons of mass destruction fake war, we may never sit down at a peace table because frankly, we don't want peace. Peace is our enemy. Fear is our greatest ally."
"We will win by making grandiose statements about how tough we are and how tough we are on terrorism while we continue killing innocent Iraqi civilians at a record-shattering pace," he told the nation's largest veterans organization.
In tone and substance, the remarks differed sharply from the more contemplative words he offered in an interview aired by NBC's "Today" show Monday. Asked about "this war on terror" during that interview, Bush said: "I don't think you can win it. But I think you can create conditions so that those who use terror as a tool are less acceptable in parts of the world. Let's put it that way."
Or as it turns out, let's NOT put it that way since it seems to run in direct contradiction to all those nice, flowery, heroic things being said about me in New York, he is believed to have added.
The statement Monday is a flip flop of his own assertions about having a plan to defeat terrorism, and ran counter to his campaign's strategy of portraying the president as optimistic and resolute. It invited an immediate attack from Democrats, who have been on the defensive in recent weeks over attacks on presidential nominee John F. Kerry's Vietnam War record and position on Iraq.
Kerry's campaign gleefully responded to Bush's American Legion speech Tuesday with a news release headlined, "Bush Flip-Flops on Winning the War on Terror," then tried to top that a few moments later with another echo of a Republican attack on the Massachusetts senator, "Bush: Against Winning the War on Terror Before He Was for It."
It was revealed earlier this afternoon by an undisclosed White House source that the War On Terror is actually being waged to terrorise the American public. "With fear-mongering and the threat of terror hanging in the air like an ominous cloud, what really, besides homophobia and tax cuts for the rich, does the Bush Administration have going for it?" the source asked rhetorically.
Say It Ain't So Kids! President Bush Flip Flops Like A Fish On A Hook?!
NASHVILLE, Aug. 31 -- President Jesus Bush rushed Tuesday to flip flop about his bold and great leader-like assertion that the war on terrorism cannot be won, as his campaign sought to limit the damage from a statement that despite all the rahrah from the convention, shows the commander in chief as defeatist.
"Make no mistake about it: We are winning and we will win," Bush told the 86th annual convention of the American Legion as he continued his journey toward the Republican National Convention for his acceptance speech Thursday night, "Unless of course, we don't win the war because it isn't winnable and even if it were, I'm only making things worse, not better, almost ensuring inevitable defeat." He said that "in this different kind of war, this funny kind of non-existent weapons of mass destruction fake war, we may never sit down at a peace table because frankly, we don't want peace. Peace is our enemy. Fear is our greatest ally."
"We will win by making grandiose statements about how tough we are and how tough we are on terrorism while we continue killing innocent Iraqi civilians at a record-shattering pace," he told the nation's largest veterans organization.
In tone and substance, the remarks differed sharply from the more contemplative words he offered in an interview aired by NBC's "Today" show Monday. Asked about "this war on terror" during that interview, Bush said: "I don't think you can win it. But I think you can create conditions so that those who use terror as a tool are less acceptable in parts of the world. Let's put it that way."
Or as it turns out, let's NOT put it that way since it seems to run in direct contradiction to all those nice, flowery, heroic things being said about me in New York, he is believed to have added.
The statement Monday is a flip flop of his own assertions about having a plan to defeat terrorism, and ran counter to his campaign's strategy of portraying the president as optimistic and resolute. It invited an immediate attack from Democrats, who have been on the defensive in recent weeks over attacks on presidential nominee John F. Kerry's Vietnam War record and position on Iraq.
Kerry's campaign gleefully responded to Bush's American Legion speech Tuesday with a news release headlined, "Bush Flip-Flops on Winning the War on Terror," then tried to top that a few moments later with another echo of a Republican attack on the Massachusetts senator, "Bush: Against Winning the War on Terror Before He Was for It."
It was revealed earlier this afternoon by an undisclosed White House source that the War On Terror is actually being waged to terrorise the American public. "With fear-mongering and the threat of terror hanging in the air like an ominous cloud, what really, besides homophobia and tax cuts for the rich, does the Bush Administration have going for it?" the source asked rhetorically.
dinsdag, augustus 31, 2004
Republican Convention Kicks Off The President Jesus Bush Hero Train
"No Bigger Hero In The History of Human Kind"
Judging by the spirited addresses by Senator John McCain and former Mayor of NYC, Rudy Giuliani, if it wasn't for the bravery, courage, heroism and the steady-handed and single-minded course of stupidity and misjudgement guided by President Jesus Bush since the attacks of September 11, there might not even BE an America to vote for the President in 2004. It would all be in a smoldering ruin of death and destruction. Lucky for us, President Jesus Bush was around to save the day for all humanity against the triumph of evil and the villanry of terrorism.
In his speech, Mr. Giuliani invoked images of the Sept. 11 terror attacks in a way that few political figures would dare to unless they too were using the tragedy of others in a crass and blatant political ploy. He laced his address with personal experiences, like when he saw a body plummet from the World Trade Center, stopping just short of suggesting that President Jesus Bush was almost able to reach down from the heavens and save even those leaping to their deaths from 111 stories high.
Mr. Giuliani applauded the president's decision to invade Iraq, saying that Saddam Hussein was himself a "weapon of mass destruction," ending of course, any need to actually FIND any weapons of mass destruction which were allegedly the cause for a preemptive invasion of Iraq in the first place. He emphasized the themes of leadership and compassion, and he compared the president to the wartime British prime minister, Winston Churchill, and the last American president of the cold war, Ronald Reagan. When it came to heroes, there wasn't anyone Mr. Giuliani wouldn't compare President Jesus Bush with. "If I didn't already believe Superman were just a cartoon character, I'd believe that Superman was President Jesus Bush and if there WERE a Superman to save all of humanity, well, he must be President Jesus Bush!"
In his remarks, he recalled how President Bush "stood amid the fallen towers and said to the barbaric terrorists who attacked us, 'They will hear from us.' " Not only did they hear from the President, but so did tens of thousands of innocent and dead Iraqi civilians, killed, unfortunately, as collateral damage in the effort to save them from a cruel and evil dictator (Saddam Hussein, that is.)
Leading up to Mr. Giuliani's effusive speech of praise and child-like awe of President Bush was former rival and Vietnam vet, Senator John McCain.
"I knew my confidence was well placed when I watched him stand on the rubble of the World Trade Centre with his arm around a hero of September 11th, and in our moment of mourning and anger, strength in our unity and our resolve by promising to right this terrible wrong." McCain said, straight-shooter that he is. "And even more courageous than even the heroes of September 11th was the reaction of President Bush. Instead of letting other heroes of the American military die FOR him in an ill-thought out invasion of a sovereign nation under false pretexts, our hero President Bush led the charge, like a true hero, single-handedly defeated Saddam Hussein by himself, killing him like the vermin he is without anyone else's help and basically, saved the world from eternal evil and damnation for ever and ever because gosh darn it, there isn't a bigger hero in the world than President Jesus Bush. Not even his own father was brave enough nor strong enough to rid the world of Saddam Hussein and look at what our president did! Oh my! What a courageous man! What a leader!"
Just following the opening night of the convention, a Washington Post-ABC Poll released today showed that more than 90% of Americans think George Bush is the greatest hero in the history of humanity and would give their only children in his name because he is the greatest human being in the history of the world and NO ONE is ever going to be a better president than he has been.
Another 90% believed that John Kerry was Satan's spawn and if he is allowed to be president, it would be like "given the White House to terrorists".
"No Bigger Hero In The History of Human Kind"
Judging by the spirited addresses by Senator John McCain and former Mayor of NYC, Rudy Giuliani, if it wasn't for the bravery, courage, heroism and the steady-handed and single-minded course of stupidity and misjudgement guided by President Jesus Bush since the attacks of September 11, there might not even BE an America to vote for the President in 2004. It would all be in a smoldering ruin of death and destruction. Lucky for us, President Jesus Bush was around to save the day for all humanity against the triumph of evil and the villanry of terrorism.
In his speech, Mr. Giuliani invoked images of the Sept. 11 terror attacks in a way that few political figures would dare to unless they too were using the tragedy of others in a crass and blatant political ploy. He laced his address with personal experiences, like when he saw a body plummet from the World Trade Center, stopping just short of suggesting that President Jesus Bush was almost able to reach down from the heavens and save even those leaping to their deaths from 111 stories high.
Mr. Giuliani applauded the president's decision to invade Iraq, saying that Saddam Hussein was himself a "weapon of mass destruction," ending of course, any need to actually FIND any weapons of mass destruction which were allegedly the cause for a preemptive invasion of Iraq in the first place. He emphasized the themes of leadership and compassion, and he compared the president to the wartime British prime minister, Winston Churchill, and the last American president of the cold war, Ronald Reagan. When it came to heroes, there wasn't anyone Mr. Giuliani wouldn't compare President Jesus Bush with. "If I didn't already believe Superman were just a cartoon character, I'd believe that Superman was President Jesus Bush and if there WERE a Superman to save all of humanity, well, he must be President Jesus Bush!"
In his remarks, he recalled how President Bush "stood amid the fallen towers and said to the barbaric terrorists who attacked us, 'They will hear from us.' " Not only did they hear from the President, but so did tens of thousands of innocent and dead Iraqi civilians, killed, unfortunately, as collateral damage in the effort to save them from a cruel and evil dictator (Saddam Hussein, that is.)
Leading up to Mr. Giuliani's effusive speech of praise and child-like awe of President Bush was former rival and Vietnam vet, Senator John McCain.
"I knew my confidence was well placed when I watched him stand on the rubble of the World Trade Centre with his arm around a hero of September 11th, and in our moment of mourning and anger, strength in our unity and our resolve by promising to right this terrible wrong." McCain said, straight-shooter that he is. "And even more courageous than even the heroes of September 11th was the reaction of President Bush. Instead of letting other heroes of the American military die FOR him in an ill-thought out invasion of a sovereign nation under false pretexts, our hero President Bush led the charge, like a true hero, single-handedly defeated Saddam Hussein by himself, killing him like the vermin he is without anyone else's help and basically, saved the world from eternal evil and damnation for ever and ever because gosh darn it, there isn't a bigger hero in the world than President Jesus Bush. Not even his own father was brave enough nor strong enough to rid the world of Saddam Hussein and look at what our president did! Oh my! What a courageous man! What a leader!"
Just following the opening night of the convention, a Washington Post-ABC Poll released today showed that more than 90% of Americans think George Bush is the greatest hero in the history of humanity and would give their only children in his name because he is the greatest human being in the history of the world and NO ONE is ever going to be a better president than he has been.
Another 90% believed that John Kerry was Satan's spawn and if he is allowed to be president, it would be like "given the White House to terrorists".
donderdag, augustus 26, 2004
When God Made America
She gave her horns to bleet the blues,
she gave her breasts on each coast
she gave her a cock out of Maine
and a tail that prayed to Mexico.
She gave her colour, to even out
the plains, the same way
she distinctly chose the vein
to shoot the highway down.
She gave her history on blank pages
and crayon people outside the lines
to create decades
that settle sentences like punctuation.
She gave cock to doodle-do
and asked nothing in return,
spurned the advances
of lesser lovers
for just a chance,
over and over again.
She sang hosannas, tinkled
the keys, jitterbugged and
flailed her legs, all in the episode
for you and me.
She brought us together, one
atop another, or juxtaposed,
one supposes, just for us
to have the chance to be indifferent.
She dug her fingers in her hair
and made the window panes rattle and peel.
And then
she stopped, and breathed.
Bush Sucks Cock Or Kerry?
I read an article in the London Times this afternoon which touched upon
Kerry's argument about who he killed in Vietnam (in defence, one
supposes against the Patrol Boat for Truth freaks) and couldn't help but
wonder at how pathetic the American political scene is. I wanted to
wonder why Vietnam is still an issue so long future but of course
remembered only a week or so ago watching his montage at the Democrat
convention, knowing that he provoked it himself.
From the outside now, I wonder what Americans care about in electing
their future or standing president. As I've probably noted herein
before, it deeply disturbs me that both parties feel compelled to pander
to religious conservatives (or, let's say Midwest people who think a
belief in god has anything to do with how the country is governed) but
that notwithstanding, what the fuck do YOU Americans care about for your
future president?
I haven't heard anything from the opposition other than platitudes like
"I'll fix the economy" (and his little solar plexus meowmeowmeow) and
that Kerry could garner more support from "allies" so not as many
Americans die in Iraq (just some interchangeable sort of foreign troops
instead) -- as though anyone, even a republican like Dole, could garner
more respect from the outside than Bush's policies have...)
Kerry and Edwards don't really strike me as an enormous change from the
kind of corporate toxins that have infilterated every aspect of world
culture. Oh yeah, well, they'll be a wot, kinder, gentler form of
corporate hegomony but in the end, it is, after all, the same old
bullshit antithesis of Chekov's maxim on freedom (freedom from violence,
freedom from lies) but at the end of the day, when or if America has rid
itself of Bush, what does it have in Kerry to be happy about?
And probably those dissatisfied with poltical rants expecting poetics
(the young man's vice) will have already departed these lines, but if
they haven't, a morsel of poetry, for the young men (or women, depending
on the degree of political correction):
shamelessly cut and pasted from what I like:
Emily Dickinson (1830–86). Complete Poems. 1924.
Part Three: Love
I
MINE by the right of the white election!
Mine by the royal seal!
Mine by the sign in the scarlet prison
Bars cannot conceal!
Mine, here in vision and in veto! 5
Mine, by the grave’s repeal
Titled, confirmed,—delirious charter!
Mine, while the ages steal!
I read an article in the London Times this afternoon which touched upon
Kerry's argument about who he killed in Vietnam (in defence, one
supposes against the Patrol Boat for Truth freaks) and couldn't help but
wonder at how pathetic the American political scene is. I wanted to
wonder why Vietnam is still an issue so long future but of course
remembered only a week or so ago watching his montage at the Democrat
convention, knowing that he provoked it himself.
From the outside now, I wonder what Americans care about in electing
their future or standing president. As I've probably noted herein
before, it deeply disturbs me that both parties feel compelled to pander
to religious conservatives (or, let's say Midwest people who think a
belief in god has anything to do with how the country is governed) but
that notwithstanding, what the fuck do YOU Americans care about for your
future president?
I haven't heard anything from the opposition other than platitudes like
"I'll fix the economy" (and his little solar plexus meowmeowmeow) and
that Kerry could garner more support from "allies" so not as many
Americans die in Iraq (just some interchangeable sort of foreign troops
instead) -- as though anyone, even a republican like Dole, could garner
more respect from the outside than Bush's policies have...)
Kerry and Edwards don't really strike me as an enormous change from the
kind of corporate toxins that have infilterated every aspect of world
culture. Oh yeah, well, they'll be a wot, kinder, gentler form of
corporate hegomony but in the end, it is, after all, the same old
bullshit antithesis of Chekov's maxim on freedom (freedom from violence,
freedom from lies) but at the end of the day, when or if America has rid
itself of Bush, what does it have in Kerry to be happy about?
And probably those dissatisfied with poltical rants expecting poetics
(the young man's vice) will have already departed these lines, but if
they haven't, a morsel of poetry, for the young men (or women, depending
on the degree of political correction):
shamelessly cut and pasted from what I like:
Emily Dickinson (1830–86). Complete Poems. 1924.
Part Three: Love
I
MINE by the right of the white election!
Mine by the royal seal!
Mine by the sign in the scarlet prison
Bars cannot conceal!
Mine, here in vision and in veto! 5
Mine, by the grave’s repeal
Titled, confirmed,—delirious charter!
Mine, while the ages steal!
woensdag, augustus 25, 2004
Kerry's Service in Vietnam Faulted in Prison Abuse
WASHINGTON - John Kerry's service history in Vietnam and dodgy purple heart awards contributed to an environment in which prisoners were abused at Abu Ghraib prison, according to a report released on Tuesday by high-level panel investigating the military detentions.
The outside four-member panel headed by former Defense Secretary James Schlesinger found that back in the 60s, Kerry failed to exercise proper oversight over confusing detention policies in Vietnam which directly led to the abuses at U.S. prisons in Iraq and Afghanistan, as well as at the U.S. naval base at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba.
"Whilst Kerry continues to defend himself against attack ads, these charges of unreliability and untrustworthiness, especially in light of President Jesus Bush's own sterling and heroic Vietnam war record, specifically effected command failures and the poor advice provided by staff officers with responsibility for overseeing battlefield functions related to detention and interrogation operations during the Iraq invasion," the report said. "Had Mr Kerry been more forthcoming, as President Jesus Bush has, about his military service, the Abu Ghraib prison abuses would not have occurred and thus, Mr Kerry and his distrustfulness must share this burden of responsibility."
The panel did not find that innocent people like Donald Rumsfeld or military leaders directly ordered abuse such as stripping prisoners naked and sexually humiliating them. It said, however, that the abuses were not carried out by just a few individuals, as the Bush administration has consistently maintained. It is quite possible that Mr Kerry himself carried out some of those abuses, according to several Swift Boat members.
Republicans, Er, Swift Boat Veterans Attack Better Than They Did in Vietnam, Yet Lose Another Hero
Sycophantic twisters of truth, President Jesus Bush campaign supporters and paramours of President Jesus Bush, cleverly disguised as and otherwise known as the (hoho-haha)Swift Boat Veterans For "Truth", have lost another hero to their cause yesterday when yet another Vietnam vet broke ranks with Republicans to side with Kerry.
"In their perverted attempt to discredit John Kerry, they have done a greater harm to all Vietnam veterans who for years have sought validation for their service to country," Ed Belfoure, who flew helicopters as a Marine in Vietnam, said.
Desultory Turgescence recent polling shows that more than 78% of Americans who closely followed the events of the Vietnam War have concluded that the Swift Boat Veterans for Truth have now demonstrated a better capability to attack than they ever did whilst actually serving their country during the war, which was yet another ill-thought-out invasion of a sovereign nation.
Ironically, President Jesus Bush, who did not serve in the Vietnam war at all, hiding underneath his daddy's skirts in Texas so he had more time to booze it up and snort lines of coke while his lesser privileged "fellow Americans" were being blown to bits both physically and psychologically in the Vietnam war, is rumoured to be President of the Swift Boat Veterans for Truth.
WASHINGTON - John Kerry's service history in Vietnam and dodgy purple heart awards contributed to an environment in which prisoners were abused at Abu Ghraib prison, according to a report released on Tuesday by high-level panel investigating the military detentions.
The outside four-member panel headed by former Defense Secretary James Schlesinger found that back in the 60s, Kerry failed to exercise proper oversight over confusing detention policies in Vietnam which directly led to the abuses at U.S. prisons in Iraq and Afghanistan, as well as at the U.S. naval base at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba.
"Whilst Kerry continues to defend himself against attack ads, these charges of unreliability and untrustworthiness, especially in light of President Jesus Bush's own sterling and heroic Vietnam war record, specifically effected command failures and the poor advice provided by staff officers with responsibility for overseeing battlefield functions related to detention and interrogation operations during the Iraq invasion," the report said. "Had Mr Kerry been more forthcoming, as President Jesus Bush has, about his military service, the Abu Ghraib prison abuses would not have occurred and thus, Mr Kerry and his distrustfulness must share this burden of responsibility."
The panel did not find that innocent people like Donald Rumsfeld or military leaders directly ordered abuse such as stripping prisoners naked and sexually humiliating them. It said, however, that the abuses were not carried out by just a few individuals, as the Bush administration has consistently maintained. It is quite possible that Mr Kerry himself carried out some of those abuses, according to several Swift Boat members.
Republicans, Er, Swift Boat Veterans Attack Better Than They Did in Vietnam, Yet Lose Another Hero
Sycophantic twisters of truth, President Jesus Bush campaign supporters and paramours of President Jesus Bush, cleverly disguised as and otherwise known as the (hoho-haha)Swift Boat Veterans For "Truth", have lost another hero to their cause yesterday when yet another Vietnam vet broke ranks with Republicans to side with Kerry.
"In their perverted attempt to discredit John Kerry, they have done a greater harm to all Vietnam veterans who for years have sought validation for their service to country," Ed Belfoure, who flew helicopters as a Marine in Vietnam, said.
Desultory Turgescence recent polling shows that more than 78% of Americans who closely followed the events of the Vietnam War have concluded that the Swift Boat Veterans for Truth have now demonstrated a better capability to attack than they ever did whilst actually serving their country during the war, which was yet another ill-thought-out invasion of a sovereign nation.
Ironically, President Jesus Bush, who did not serve in the Vietnam war at all, hiding underneath his daddy's skirts in Texas so he had more time to booze it up and snort lines of coke while his lesser privileged "fellow Americans" were being blown to bits both physically and psychologically in the Vietnam war, is rumoured to be President of the Swift Boat Veterans for Truth.
vrijdag, augustus 13, 2004
Random Braying
With the Desultory Turgescence team busy hunting down rumours throughout France, Holland and Scotland for the past and yes, future several weeks, this sort of scattershot and random, perhaps even infrequent deliveries of the daily posts will unfortunately, continue.
Please remain heartened by the information that by the onset of September, the shop will be fully up and running once again spewing and spearheading the kind of caustic, rubbery Anisetta Evangelisti aftertaste you've all grown to know and love.
In the interim, kindly aquaint yourself with these random items:
For the lads and lassies back in Amurrrica, those drowning in the tsunami of false political contentions and distortions, the Annenberg Political Fact Check always one to comb through the lice of disinformation and seek tiny granules of truth.
*****
Speaking of knife jobs, August Kleinzahler's "No Antonin Artaud with the Flapjacks, Please" is a classic in the making knife job on Garrison Keillor.
"Readers may remember how the U.S. military blared Van Halen and others at the Panamanian dictator Manuel Noriega, when he took refuge in the Vatican Embassy in Panama City during our invasion of Panama years ago. This method of rousting the wicked proved so successful that it was repeated during the recent Afghan experience, when heavy metal chart-busters were unleashed on caves thought to be sheltering Taliban and al-Qaeda fighters. The English Guardian newspaper reported last year that we were breaking the wills of captured terrorists, or suspected terrorists, by assaulting them first with heavy metal followed by "happy-smiley children's songs." The real spirit cruncher turns out to be the "Barney, I Love You" song played for hours on end. Even the most hardened, sadistic killers buckle under "that kind of hell," or so asserted a reliable source. But if that fails to work, I suggest a round-the-clock tape of Garrison Keillor reading poems on his daily Writer's Almanac show."
*****
If you're interested in winning philosophical arguments you might want to have a look on overcoming, 38 Dishonest Tricks.
*****
Imaginary novels and incredible stories are being collected for posterity in an unconventional UK arts project, The Library of Unwritten Books.
*****
and lastly,
Bush: America better off with his leadership
LOS ANGELES, California -- President Jesus Bush said Thursday that America is "absolutely" better off today than it was four years ago -- on both the national security and domestic fronts.
"The world's safer. ... no one except terrorists and thugs are getting killed anymore. We're killing terrorists and thugs at a great pace and will continue to do so throughout the elections," Bush said in an exclusive interview on CNN's "Larry King Live."
"There are 50 million people that once lived in tyranny now living in societies which are heading toward pro-American, pro-oil and anti-Muslim democracies," he said. "In fact, in the next election, we are opening it up for voters from all countries who support me to vote for me to be president, not JUST of America, but the entire planet Earth since I'm doing such a good job here and there's really no point in limiting my powers to improve your miserable lives to just one country,"
Bush also promoted improvements at home.
"The economy is growing. Why, just look at it grow! I've never seen a better economy. I've never seen a more vibrant, promising economic future. There has never been a better economy in the history of earth" he said. "The education system is better than it has been ever in the history of mankind, anywhere, even planets we haven't discovered yet and because of the No Child Left Behind Act, the kids being left behind are either dead or in prison so we haven't got to worry about them anymore. The Medicare law has been watered down so seniors will have very limited and expensive prescription drug coverage starting in 2006 which will facilitate and encourage their early deaths since most of them don't vote for me anyway."
The president also said he would still choose to go to war in Iraq if he had it to do all over again -- even knowing everything he now knows about the absence of stockpiles of weapons of mass destruction.
"What difference does it make now? I will argue that Saddam Hussein out of power has made the world a better place and a safer place," he said. "It doesn't matter whether or not it's true, I will argue that anyway since that is the only thread of possible justification we have left after all our other excuses have been paper tigers. We thought we'd find stockpiles. The whole world thought we'd find stockpiles. ... But what we do know is Saddam Hussein had the capability of making weapons of mass destruction, and after September 11th, a risk we could not take was that he would share that capability with our enemies. Even if the risk was all in our heads and he just happened to be sitting coincidentally on a the world's second largest supply of oil and well, doesn't everyone agree that Iraq makes a wonderful military base? I'm thinking we should rename it Fort Iraq, allow all those who love me to vote for me in the next election and kill everyone who opposes me as a terrorist and thug"
Bush, who was joined for the interview by his wife, Laura, also took issue with a proposal by Democratic presidential nominee Sen. John Kerry to set a six-month time frame to begin reducing the number of U.S. troops in Iraq.
"That says to the enemy, 'Wait for six months and one day,' or it says to the Iraqis, 'The Americans aren't serious,'" Bush said. "But I am a serious man and I don't intend to stop killing for Jesus any time soon. The timetable is this --not one day more than is necessary, and the commanders on the ground will let us know when."
Bush, who has championed a federal constitutional amendment banning same-sex marriage, also made some of his most explicit comments to date on whether he believes states should be able to provide legal recognition to gay and lesbian couples with civil unions that stop short of marriage.
"Faggots shouldn't marry, that's the bottom line," Bush said. "Jesus doesn't like faggots and neither do I. Not even with mushy peas. I do not want to change the definition of marriage. I don't think our country should. We are a country of Jesus-lovers, not faggots"
With just 81 days to go before Americans decide if he should get a second term, Bush told King he was confident of winning re-election, despite polls showing the race is razor close.
"I believe the American people know my style of leadership, they know what to expect, and they understand that the commander-in-chief must not waver in this era --that we must continue to stay on the offense," he said. "But if the American people don't see it my way, it doesn't really matter, I'll find a way to win the election, no matter what it takes. I have an obligation to lead, hand in hand with Jesus."
With the Desultory Turgescence team busy hunting down rumours throughout France, Holland and Scotland for the past and yes, future several weeks, this sort of scattershot and random, perhaps even infrequent deliveries of the daily posts will unfortunately, continue.
Please remain heartened by the information that by the onset of September, the shop will be fully up and running once again spewing and spearheading the kind of caustic, rubbery Anisetta Evangelisti aftertaste you've all grown to know and love.
In the interim, kindly aquaint yourself with these random items:
For the lads and lassies back in Amurrrica, those drowning in the tsunami of false political contentions and distortions, the Annenberg Political Fact Check always one to comb through the lice of disinformation and seek tiny granules of truth.
*****
Speaking of knife jobs, August Kleinzahler's "No Antonin Artaud with the Flapjacks, Please" is a classic in the making knife job on Garrison Keillor.
"Readers may remember how the U.S. military blared Van Halen and others at the Panamanian dictator Manuel Noriega, when he took refuge in the Vatican Embassy in Panama City during our invasion of Panama years ago. This method of rousting the wicked proved so successful that it was repeated during the recent Afghan experience, when heavy metal chart-busters were unleashed on caves thought to be sheltering Taliban and al-Qaeda fighters. The English Guardian newspaper reported last year that we were breaking the wills of captured terrorists, or suspected terrorists, by assaulting them first with heavy metal followed by "happy-smiley children's songs." The real spirit cruncher turns out to be the "Barney, I Love You" song played for hours on end. Even the most hardened, sadistic killers buckle under "that kind of hell," or so asserted a reliable source. But if that fails to work, I suggest a round-the-clock tape of Garrison Keillor reading poems on his daily Writer's Almanac show."
*****
If you're interested in winning philosophical arguments you might want to have a look on overcoming, 38 Dishonest Tricks.
*****
Imaginary novels and incredible stories are being collected for posterity in an unconventional UK arts project, The Library of Unwritten Books.
*****
and lastly,
Bush: America better off with his leadership
LOS ANGELES, California -- President Jesus Bush said Thursday that America is "absolutely" better off today than it was four years ago -- on both the national security and domestic fronts.
"The world's safer. ... no one except terrorists and thugs are getting killed anymore. We're killing terrorists and thugs at a great pace and will continue to do so throughout the elections," Bush said in an exclusive interview on CNN's "Larry King Live."
"There are 50 million people that once lived in tyranny now living in societies which are heading toward pro-American, pro-oil and anti-Muslim democracies," he said. "In fact, in the next election, we are opening it up for voters from all countries who support me to vote for me to be president, not JUST of America, but the entire planet Earth since I'm doing such a good job here and there's really no point in limiting my powers to improve your miserable lives to just one country,"
Bush also promoted improvements at home.
"The economy is growing. Why, just look at it grow! I've never seen a better economy. I've never seen a more vibrant, promising economic future. There has never been a better economy in the history of earth" he said. "The education system is better than it has been ever in the history of mankind, anywhere, even planets we haven't discovered yet and because of the No Child Left Behind Act, the kids being left behind are either dead or in prison so we haven't got to worry about them anymore. The Medicare law has been watered down so seniors will have very limited and expensive prescription drug coverage starting in 2006 which will facilitate and encourage their early deaths since most of them don't vote for me anyway."
The president also said he would still choose to go to war in Iraq if he had it to do all over again -- even knowing everything he now knows about the absence of stockpiles of weapons of mass destruction.
"What difference does it make now? I will argue that Saddam Hussein out of power has made the world a better place and a safer place," he said. "It doesn't matter whether or not it's true, I will argue that anyway since that is the only thread of possible justification we have left after all our other excuses have been paper tigers. We thought we'd find stockpiles. The whole world thought we'd find stockpiles. ... But what we do know is Saddam Hussein had the capability of making weapons of mass destruction, and after September 11th, a risk we could not take was that he would share that capability with our enemies. Even if the risk was all in our heads and he just happened to be sitting coincidentally on a the world's second largest supply of oil and well, doesn't everyone agree that Iraq makes a wonderful military base? I'm thinking we should rename it Fort Iraq, allow all those who love me to vote for me in the next election and kill everyone who opposes me as a terrorist and thug"
Bush, who was joined for the interview by his wife, Laura, also took issue with a proposal by Democratic presidential nominee Sen. John Kerry to set a six-month time frame to begin reducing the number of U.S. troops in Iraq.
"That says to the enemy, 'Wait for six months and one day,' or it says to the Iraqis, 'The Americans aren't serious,'" Bush said. "But I am a serious man and I don't intend to stop killing for Jesus any time soon. The timetable is this --not one day more than is necessary, and the commanders on the ground will let us know when."
Bush, who has championed a federal constitutional amendment banning same-sex marriage, also made some of his most explicit comments to date on whether he believes states should be able to provide legal recognition to gay and lesbian couples with civil unions that stop short of marriage.
"Faggots shouldn't marry, that's the bottom line," Bush said. "Jesus doesn't like faggots and neither do I. Not even with mushy peas. I do not want to change the definition of marriage. I don't think our country should. We are a country of Jesus-lovers, not faggots"
With just 81 days to go before Americans decide if he should get a second term, Bush told King he was confident of winning re-election, despite polls showing the race is razor close.
"I believe the American people know my style of leadership, they know what to expect, and they understand that the commander-in-chief must not waver in this era --that we must continue to stay on the offense," he said. "But if the American people don't see it my way, it doesn't really matter, I'll find a way to win the election, no matter what it takes. I have an obligation to lead, hand in hand with Jesus."
woensdag, juli 28, 2004
Overcast In England
Because these are necessarily slow times; days without sun tend to make life seem slower, painstakingly drawn out, because of this and because the Democratic Convention is going on in America and no news is good news, I've decided it must be time to refrain from political rants and so, here is a poem from someone born in Rochester, NY:
It Must Be Sophisticated
John Ashbery
There are attics in old houses
where doubt lingers as to the corrosive
effect of night-blindness: namely
are its victims directly linkable to a chain
of events happening elsewhere? If so,
we should shrug off resemblances
to our line of work. What was said around
the house had undue influence on one of several
shapely witnesses. And, as dames do,
she started talking to any and every
interlocutor out of harm's way. One day
you wake up and they've skipped. Or was it
always empty like this? It's hard
to remember a time when it wasn't. Maybe
your memory's playing tricks on you? Maybe
there never was such a person as Lisa Martins?
Maybe it's all over when you stand up
to walk the last mile in Enna Jettick shoes,
and they draw the blind quickly to forget you.
Once forgotten you're as good as dead,
anyway. And who would help you now?
You might as well be trapped at the bottom of a well
in the Sahara. They don't know you're alive,
or that your life was anything but exemplary
when it came time for you to live.
The fashionable present keeps queening it
over the slightly dishonorable past. Your
bridesmaids are scattered on the wind.
You don't feel like having lunch. Maybe
a walk, and a cup of tea later?
We'll see you at the end of the month!
they cried. Now it keeps ticking,
there must be a mystery down there,
darn it. I'll find it if it takes all night
and then some other sleuth can solve it.
I was only hired as a go-between. My tour is ended,
and if I've a piece of advice for you, it's
check out the rafters, the moldings.
You can't tell who might have bargained
for clemency in your absence, leaving you holding
the bag when you got back, restless,
ready to start school, but the vagrant air's black,
what with the negative promise of spring.
The boys are still rehearsing their parts
they haven't been over, and really
it's none of my business. Said the table to the chair.
I was confined here. That's all I know,
truthfully. During the amnesty I walked
out through the open gate. The streets were full of people,
running back and forth, talking disjointedly. I was
supposed to be somewhere else, but no one knew it.
In the confusion I returned home.
Now the newshounds pester us daily.
What was I born for? More experiments?
Why are they fighting over a fuse? It doesn't
seem to be harmless like those people are listening to over there;
at the same time, everyone's a suspect in the new
climate and country. The wind turns a page
of the old tome, then another and another; soon
it's riffling through them too fast to stop.
There's nothing in it anyway. Time to move on
to another frontier beyond the transparent frieze
of foliage, guns, barges, to where he began.
Sure, dem days is gone forever, but it's the attention span
that's really gone. Back when they'd send for you
once they got a house built, it was clever
to hedge your bets and produce a fraternal twin
made of bedclothes with a mop for a wig
while you scaled the wall on a rope ladder
to be the next new thing that thinks
and cautions others not to. Far from the
inner city cry of conflicting attitudes, one fled with one's
holy illusions intact, one's misconceptions too, until the whole
mindset took on a largely symbolic
look, an indifferent jewel, toy
of the weather, of successive washes of light,
I can hardly believe I'm here
in this tiny republic carved out of several conflicting
principalities. It's enough, perhaps, that I was questioned
at the edge of my performance. That now I'm safe
from my own sang-froid and scores of others,
that mere forgetfulness can save up to fifty-three lives,
that they can share your power and go on glancing
upward. Because after all we were the three
original ones, the president, vice-president and treasurer
of our class. And were formed to repay
what obscure debt and be summarily
taken out of school and handed over to our parents.
It's what matters then, and after. No one
says you have to live up to principles; indeed, what are they?
What difference does it make which one came too close
in the richly darkened theater, if all
they were after was to coax you into the light,
watch you blink a minute, and then pass on, they too,
to the larger arenas, each in the wind,
in the sand, the reeds, growing? Because even if it doesn't
punish you exactly, the thing has been
lived through, the experience sealed.
O what book shall I read
now? for they are all of them new, and used,
when I write my name on the flyleaf. Look,
here is another one unread, not written. Time for you to choose.
nicked from CONJUNCTIONS:19 Fall 1992
Conjunctions
Because these are necessarily slow times; days without sun tend to make life seem slower, painstakingly drawn out, because of this and because the Democratic Convention is going on in America and no news is good news, I've decided it must be time to refrain from political rants and so, here is a poem from someone born in Rochester, NY:
It Must Be Sophisticated
John Ashbery
There are attics in old houses
where doubt lingers as to the corrosive
effect of night-blindness: namely
are its victims directly linkable to a chain
of events happening elsewhere? If so,
we should shrug off resemblances
to our line of work. What was said around
the house had undue influence on one of several
shapely witnesses. And, as dames do,
she started talking to any and every
interlocutor out of harm's way. One day
you wake up and they've skipped. Or was it
always empty like this? It's hard
to remember a time when it wasn't. Maybe
your memory's playing tricks on you? Maybe
there never was such a person as Lisa Martins?
Maybe it's all over when you stand up
to walk the last mile in Enna Jettick shoes,
and they draw the blind quickly to forget you.
Once forgotten you're as good as dead,
anyway. And who would help you now?
You might as well be trapped at the bottom of a well
in the Sahara. They don't know you're alive,
or that your life was anything but exemplary
when it came time for you to live.
The fashionable present keeps queening it
over the slightly dishonorable past. Your
bridesmaids are scattered on the wind.
You don't feel like having lunch. Maybe
a walk, and a cup of tea later?
We'll see you at the end of the month!
they cried. Now it keeps ticking,
there must be a mystery down there,
darn it. I'll find it if it takes all night
and then some other sleuth can solve it.
I was only hired as a go-between. My tour is ended,
and if I've a piece of advice for you, it's
check out the rafters, the moldings.
You can't tell who might have bargained
for clemency in your absence, leaving you holding
the bag when you got back, restless,
ready to start school, but the vagrant air's black,
what with the negative promise of spring.
The boys are still rehearsing their parts
they haven't been over, and really
it's none of my business. Said the table to the chair.
I was confined here. That's all I know,
truthfully. During the amnesty I walked
out through the open gate. The streets were full of people,
running back and forth, talking disjointedly. I was
supposed to be somewhere else, but no one knew it.
In the confusion I returned home.
Now the newshounds pester us daily.
What was I born for? More experiments?
Why are they fighting over a fuse? It doesn't
seem to be harmless like those people are listening to over there;
at the same time, everyone's a suspect in the new
climate and country. The wind turns a page
of the old tome, then another and another; soon
it's riffling through them too fast to stop.
There's nothing in it anyway. Time to move on
to another frontier beyond the transparent frieze
of foliage, guns, barges, to where he began.
Sure, dem days is gone forever, but it's the attention span
that's really gone. Back when they'd send for you
once they got a house built, it was clever
to hedge your bets and produce a fraternal twin
made of bedclothes with a mop for a wig
while you scaled the wall on a rope ladder
to be the next new thing that thinks
and cautions others not to. Far from the
inner city cry of conflicting attitudes, one fled with one's
holy illusions intact, one's misconceptions too, until the whole
mindset took on a largely symbolic
look, an indifferent jewel, toy
of the weather, of successive washes of light,
I can hardly believe I'm here
in this tiny republic carved out of several conflicting
principalities. It's enough, perhaps, that I was questioned
at the edge of my performance. That now I'm safe
from my own sang-froid and scores of others,
that mere forgetfulness can save up to fifty-three lives,
that they can share your power and go on glancing
upward. Because after all we were the three
original ones, the president, vice-president and treasurer
of our class. And were formed to repay
what obscure debt and be summarily
taken out of school and handed over to our parents.
It's what matters then, and after. No one
says you have to live up to principles; indeed, what are they?
What difference does it make which one came too close
in the richly darkened theater, if all
they were after was to coax you into the light,
watch you blink a minute, and then pass on, they too,
to the larger arenas, each in the wind,
in the sand, the reeds, growing? Because even if it doesn't
punish you exactly, the thing has been
lived through, the experience sealed.
O what book shall I read
now? for they are all of them new, and used,
when I write my name on the flyleaf. Look,
here is another one unread, not written. Time for you to choose.
nicked from CONJUNCTIONS:19 Fall 1992
Conjunctions
vrijdag, juli 23, 2004
Spreading Generalised, Promiscuous Anxiety FaLaLaLaLa
As if we weren't busy enough already, it appears the business of fear-mongering is alive and well:
"Ashcroft's performance confirmed the suspicion held by many that the Bush administration is in the cynical business of spreading generalised, promiscuous anxiety through the American populace, a sense of imminent but inexact catastrophe, for reasons that may have little to do with national security and much to do with
political advantage. In the past three years, in the name of homeland security, a vast, coast-to-coast, combined surveillance and people-scaring apparatus has been assembled, on a scale, and with an intimate reach, never before seen in a democracy. The administration appears to be still learning to play this marvellous instrument, and wrong notes, such as those struck by Ashcroft, are common. But practice makes perfect."
excerpt from the Guardian's Running Scared
For those who aren't scared, thar's plenty o money in them thar hills of death and killing! (especially for specialists like, Veep Dick "Go Fuck Yourself" Cheney,:
"Meanwhile, Cheney was busy developing Halliburton's business in other parts of the world. "It is a false dichotomy that we have to choose between our commercial and other interests," he told the [public policy research foundation] Cato Institute in 1998, speaking out against economic sanctions levied by the Clinton administration against countries suspected of terrorist activity. "Our government has become sanctions-happy," he continued."
Profits of War
*****
For those of you who needed millions of dollars of bureaucratic waste, the 9/11 report is finally out and guess what?!
Much like the Butler Report detailing the failure of governments, the equally useless 9/11 Panel magically found No one is really to blame!
Whew. That was a close one.
Now you can go back to your regularly scheduled programming until the next politically expedient terrorist attack or threat thereof will snap you awake with the force of a whiplash car crash.
As if we weren't busy enough already, it appears the business of fear-mongering is alive and well:
"Ashcroft's performance confirmed the suspicion held by many that the Bush administration is in the cynical business of spreading generalised, promiscuous anxiety through the American populace, a sense of imminent but inexact catastrophe, for reasons that may have little to do with national security and much to do with
political advantage. In the past three years, in the name of homeland security, a vast, coast-to-coast, combined surveillance and people-scaring apparatus has been assembled, on a scale, and with an intimate reach, never before seen in a democracy. The administration appears to be still learning to play this marvellous instrument, and wrong notes, such as those struck by Ashcroft, are common. But practice makes perfect."
excerpt from the Guardian's Running Scared
For those who aren't scared, thar's plenty o money in them thar hills of death and killing! (especially for specialists like, Veep Dick "Go Fuck Yourself" Cheney,:
"Meanwhile, Cheney was busy developing Halliburton's business in other parts of the world. "It is a false dichotomy that we have to choose between our commercial and other interests," he told the [public policy research foundation] Cato Institute in 1998, speaking out against economic sanctions levied by the Clinton administration against countries suspected of terrorist activity. "Our government has become sanctions-happy," he continued."
Profits of War
*****
For those of you who needed millions of dollars of bureaucratic waste, the 9/11 report is finally out and guess what?!
Much like the Butler Report detailing the failure of governments, the equally useless 9/11 Panel magically found No one is really to blame!
Whew. That was a close one.
Now you can go back to your regularly scheduled programming until the next politically expedient terrorist attack or threat thereof will snap you awake with the force of a whiplash car crash.
dinsdag, juli 20, 2004
Blair: War 'an act of love-sick temporary insanity'
LONDON, England -- British Prime Minister Tony Blair has defended his decision to go to war against Iraq, hinting that while intelligence at the time left "little doubt" about Saddam Hussein's weapons of mass destruction if you were a war-mongering delusionalist President Bush lapdog, there was the "slight possiblity" that he was temporarily insane during the decisions leading up to the war.
"Removing Saddam was not a war crime, although slaughering tens of thousands of innocent Iraqis MIGHT be." he told parliament to cheers from members of his ruling Labour Party. "The important thing to remember is that it doesn't matter anymore. It's done. If you were crazy for the love of President Jesus Bush like I was, you'd have done the same!"
He said everyone should now rejoice in that liberation and work together to help the Bush Administration destroy Iraq and build a future of despair and death for the Iraqi people.
Blair was facing MPs in Britain's House of Commons Tuesday in a debate on last week's Butler report into intelligence failings over Iraq.
Challenged by former Cabinet minister Clare Short, who quit her post over the conflict, Blair said confronted with the choice of backing away or making sure he was incapable of developing WMD: "I still think we made the right decision. I don't know why. Perhaps it was my girlish crush on President Jesus Bush leading me to temporary insanity that prevented any kind of reasonable, rational decision but I'm not sure. I've been on heavy sedatives for the last two years and have been treated for severe mental illness, you really shouldn't trust me, but you SHOULD rejoice in the liberation of Iraq!"
Blair said it was "absolutely clear" Saddam had every intention of carrying on developing weapons and procuring materials to do so. It was also "absolutely clear" that God was going to come down and strike us all dead if we didn't remove Saddam from power and "absolutely clear" that the world is a save and happy place and would probably be a pile of smoking ruins if Saddam hadn't been ousted.
However, much to the great suprise of everyone, the Tory leader Michael Howard, master of his own weapons of self-destruction, said he could not see how any MP, knowing as they did now that weapons of mass destruction were not likely to be found, could have backed the government war motion, which had stressed that Iraq had such arms.
Mr Howard accused the prime minister of "serial ignorance" about vital issues.
He accused himself of "grandstanding and lying" and "voting for the war even though I didn't know what I knew then or now would have known had I known what I would have known then..."
He had not known "vital" details about the claim that Iraq could use biological weapons within 45 minutes, intelligence reports being withdrawn last year and claims of abuse by coalition troops.
"The prime minister's credibility is at stake today," said Mr Howard. "My own credibility, of course, has been in the rubbish bin for years..."
He said Mr Blair "hasn't been straight with the British people today" and asked "why does sorry seem to be the hardest word?".
Indeed. So, Mr Blair, here are the lyrics to your love song to President Jesus Bush which have been ringing in your ears like tinnitus for the last 18 months:
Sorry Seems To Be The Hardest Word
Music by Elton John
Lyrics by Bernie Taupin
What have I got to do to make you love me
What have I got to do to make you care
What do I do when lightning strikes me
And I wake to find that you're not there
What do I do to make you want me
What have I got to do to be heard
What do I say when it's all over
And sorry seems to be the hardest word
It's sad, so sad
It's a sad, sad situation
And it's getting more and more absurd
It's sad, so sad
Why can't we talk it over
Oh it seems to me
That sorry seems to be the hardest word
What do I do to make you love me
What have I got to do to be heard
What do I do when lightning strikes me
What have I got to do
What have I got to do
When sorry seems to be the hardest word
LONDON, England -- British Prime Minister Tony Blair has defended his decision to go to war against Iraq, hinting that while intelligence at the time left "little doubt" about Saddam Hussein's weapons of mass destruction if you were a war-mongering delusionalist President Bush lapdog, there was the "slight possiblity" that he was temporarily insane during the decisions leading up to the war.
"Removing Saddam was not a war crime, although slaughering tens of thousands of innocent Iraqis MIGHT be." he told parliament to cheers from members of his ruling Labour Party. "The important thing to remember is that it doesn't matter anymore. It's done. If you were crazy for the love of President Jesus Bush like I was, you'd have done the same!"
He said everyone should now rejoice in that liberation and work together to help the Bush Administration destroy Iraq and build a future of despair and death for the Iraqi people.
Blair was facing MPs in Britain's House of Commons Tuesday in a debate on last week's Butler report into intelligence failings over Iraq.
Challenged by former Cabinet minister Clare Short, who quit her post over the conflict, Blair said confronted with the choice of backing away or making sure he was incapable of developing WMD: "I still think we made the right decision. I don't know why. Perhaps it was my girlish crush on President Jesus Bush leading me to temporary insanity that prevented any kind of reasonable, rational decision but I'm not sure. I've been on heavy sedatives for the last two years and have been treated for severe mental illness, you really shouldn't trust me, but you SHOULD rejoice in the liberation of Iraq!"
Blair said it was "absolutely clear" Saddam had every intention of carrying on developing weapons and procuring materials to do so. It was also "absolutely clear" that God was going to come down and strike us all dead if we didn't remove Saddam from power and "absolutely clear" that the world is a save and happy place and would probably be a pile of smoking ruins if Saddam hadn't been ousted.
However, much to the great suprise of everyone, the Tory leader Michael Howard, master of his own weapons of self-destruction, said he could not see how any MP, knowing as they did now that weapons of mass destruction were not likely to be found, could have backed the government war motion, which had stressed that Iraq had such arms.
Mr Howard accused the prime minister of "serial ignorance" about vital issues.
He accused himself of "grandstanding and lying" and "voting for the war even though I didn't know what I knew then or now would have known had I known what I would have known then..."
He had not known "vital" details about the claim that Iraq could use biological weapons within 45 minutes, intelligence reports being withdrawn last year and claims of abuse by coalition troops.
"The prime minister's credibility is at stake today," said Mr Howard. "My own credibility, of course, has been in the rubbish bin for years..."
He said Mr Blair "hasn't been straight with the British people today" and asked "why does sorry seem to be the hardest word?".
Indeed. So, Mr Blair, here are the lyrics to your love song to President Jesus Bush which have been ringing in your ears like tinnitus for the last 18 months:
Sorry Seems To Be The Hardest Word
Music by Elton John
Lyrics by Bernie Taupin
What have I got to do to make you love me
What have I got to do to make you care
What do I do when lightning strikes me
And I wake to find that you're not there
What do I do to make you want me
What have I got to do to be heard
What do I say when it's all over
And sorry seems to be the hardest word
It's sad, so sad
It's a sad, sad situation
And it's getting more and more absurd
It's sad, so sad
Why can't we talk it over
Oh it seems to me
That sorry seems to be the hardest word
What do I do to make you love me
What have I got to do to be heard
What do I do when lightning strikes me
What have I got to do
What have I got to do
When sorry seems to be the hardest word
zondag, juli 18, 2004
SPICCOLI AND BUTLER REPORT AGREED: INTELLIGENCE ON IRAQ 'SERIOUSLY FLAWED, DUDE'
British intelligence reports on Saddam Hussein’s weapons of mass destruction in the run up to the Iraq war were “like, totally based on, like, not reality” and “seriously flawed, dude”, the Butler Inquiry informed today, in utter agreement with an earlier report released by former Ridgemont High student Jeff Spiccoli.
Spiccoli, who earlier summed upon the premise of America's Declaration of Independence thusly: "So this Jefferson dude was like, 'Look, the reason we left this England place is 'cause it was so bogus. So if we don't get some primo rules ourselves--pronto--then we're just gonna be bogus, too.", was extensively quoted in the Butler Inquiry.
The inquiry said that when the British government began considering military action against Iraq in March 2002, the intelligence was “like, totally missing” to justify claims that Iraq was in breach of United Nations resolutions requiring it to disarm.
And it said that since the conflict, key claims based on reports from agents in Iraq including claims that the Iraqis had recently produced biological agents, were "similar to LSD-induced hallucinations minus the spiders".
The report also criticised the government’s controversial dossier on Iraqi weapons, published in the run up to war, saying that it was a little too gnarly to be credible" and "the lesson of the build up to Iraq is that people on 'ludes should not drive."
It said that Tony Blair’s statement in the British House of Commons "reinforced the impression that he is a presumptuous, arrogant and infatigable little liar who will say anything at all to maintain his exalted position as President Bush's favourite little poodle, dude."
The inquiry acknowledged that quoting Jeff Spiccoli so extensively in its report would probably tip off the source of the subtitle of the report which compared the leap to war by use of bogus intelligence on Iraq's weapons of mass destruction with the legendary Spiccoli confession that "All I need is a cool buzz and some tasty waves and I'm fine."
The report was highly critical of intelligence-gathering in Iraq but in the end, decided what's done is done and there isn't any use crying over spillt milk.
“This is US History, I see the globe right there..." it said.
*****
Tory Leader Says "If Only I Had Thought I'd Known Then What I Think I Thought I Knew Now"
Tory Party Leader Michael Howard has said that he would not have backed the Government in the crucial Commons vote on the Iraq war if he had thought he'd known what he didn't know or had known about what he would have thought if he'd have known that the intelligence was flawed.
In an interview with the Sunday Times, Mr Howard said;
"If I knew then what I know now, I'd know more than I knew then and then I would have known that I shouldn't have known about voting for that resolution, I think." he said. "Unless, of course, somebody or something changes my mind again" he quickly added.
"It is difficult for someone, knowing everything we know now, to have voted for that particular resolution. But if we hadn't known everything we know now, well then, that would have changed everything of course, probably. And even if I had known that what I knew wasn't right, I'd have been wrong for not knowing what I didn't know and voting anyway."
British intelligence reports on Saddam Hussein’s weapons of mass destruction in the run up to the Iraq war were “like, totally based on, like, not reality” and “seriously flawed, dude”, the Butler Inquiry informed today, in utter agreement with an earlier report released by former Ridgemont High student Jeff Spiccoli.
Spiccoli, who earlier summed upon the premise of America's Declaration of Independence thusly: "So this Jefferson dude was like, 'Look, the reason we left this England place is 'cause it was so bogus. So if we don't get some primo rules ourselves--pronto--then we're just gonna be bogus, too.", was extensively quoted in the Butler Inquiry.
The inquiry said that when the British government began considering military action against Iraq in March 2002, the intelligence was “like, totally missing” to justify claims that Iraq was in breach of United Nations resolutions requiring it to disarm.
And it said that since the conflict, key claims based on reports from agents in Iraq including claims that the Iraqis had recently produced biological agents, were "similar to LSD-induced hallucinations minus the spiders".
The report also criticised the government’s controversial dossier on Iraqi weapons, published in the run up to war, saying that it was a little too gnarly to be credible" and "the lesson of the build up to Iraq is that people on 'ludes should not drive."
It said that Tony Blair’s statement in the British House of Commons "reinforced the impression that he is a presumptuous, arrogant and infatigable little liar who will say anything at all to maintain his exalted position as President Bush's favourite little poodle, dude."
The inquiry acknowledged that quoting Jeff Spiccoli so extensively in its report would probably tip off the source of the subtitle of the report which compared the leap to war by use of bogus intelligence on Iraq's weapons of mass destruction with the legendary Spiccoli confession that "All I need is a cool buzz and some tasty waves and I'm fine."
The report was highly critical of intelligence-gathering in Iraq but in the end, decided what's done is done and there isn't any use crying over spillt milk.
“This is US History, I see the globe right there..." it said.
*****
Tory Leader Says "If Only I Had Thought I'd Known Then What I Think I Thought I Knew Now"
Tory Party Leader Michael Howard has said that he would not have backed the Government in the crucial Commons vote on the Iraq war if he had thought he'd known what he didn't know or had known about what he would have thought if he'd have known that the intelligence was flawed.
In an interview with the Sunday Times, Mr Howard said;
"If I knew then what I know now, I'd know more than I knew then and then I would have known that I shouldn't have known about voting for that resolution, I think." he said. "Unless, of course, somebody or something changes my mind again" he quickly added.
"It is difficult for someone, knowing everything we know now, to have voted for that particular resolution. But if we hadn't known everything we know now, well then, that would have changed everything of course, probably. And even if I had known that what I knew wasn't right, I'd have been wrong for not knowing what I didn't know and voting anyway."
vrijdag, juli 16, 2004
FUNNY V. FUNNY
I'm sure you're familiar with it: there's funny and then there's FUNNY You decide for yourself. There's this, for example:
Edwards Tells Bush To Act Like Blair Did:
"Democratic vice presidential candidate John Edwards assailed U.S. President George W. Bush for lacking the courage of British Prime Minister Tony Blair, who took full responsibility for the intelligence failures that led both nations into war in Iraq. "
And then there's this:
Bush Eats Babies
You just never know where the page is gonna turn.
Good News
Stratford Upon Avon- The Truth, which once was no more, has now morphed. You can find more Stratford flotsam bobbing around Shakespeare Wuz 'Ere
And The Word
Link often, and link hard.
Lastly, the name of the band I haven't yet formed has still not been taken, if you judge by Google searches, so, it remains the name of the band I haven't yet formed:
Honey, I Killed The President
Coming soon to a music scene near you.
I'm sure you're familiar with it: there's funny and then there's FUNNY You decide for yourself. There's this, for example:
Edwards Tells Bush To Act Like Blair Did:
"Democratic vice presidential candidate John Edwards assailed U.S. President George W. Bush for lacking the courage of British Prime Minister Tony Blair, who took full responsibility for the intelligence failures that led both nations into war in Iraq. "
And then there's this:
Bush Eats Babies
You just never know where the page is gonna turn.
Good News
Stratford Upon Avon- The Truth, which once was no more, has now morphed. You can find more Stratford flotsam bobbing around Shakespeare Wuz 'Ere
And The Word
Link often, and link hard.
Lastly, the name of the band I haven't yet formed has still not been taken, if you judge by Google searches, so, it remains the name of the band I haven't yet formed:
Honey, I Killed The President
Coming soon to a music scene near you.
dinsdag, juli 13, 2004
THE YOUNG BRITISH SOLDIER
Rudyard Kipling
When the 'arf-made recruity goes out to the East
'E acts like a babe an' 'e drinks like a beast,
An' 'e wonders because 'e is frequent deceased
Ere 'e's fit for to serve as a soldier.
Serve, serve, serve as a soldier,
Serve, serve, serve as a soldier,
Serve, serve, serve as a soldier,
So-oldier ~OF~ the Queen!
Now all you recruities what's drafted to-day,
You shut up your rag-box an' 'ark to my lay,
An' I'll sing you a soldier as far as I may:
A soldier what's fit for a soldier.
Fit, fit, fit for a soldier . . .
First mind you steer clear o' the grog-sellers' huts,
For they sell you Fixed Bay'nets that rots out your guts --
Ay, drink that 'ud eat the live steel from your butts --
An' it's bad for the young British soldier.
Bad, bad, bad for the soldier . . .
When the cholera comes -- as it will past a doubt --
Keep out of the wet and don't go on the shout,
For the sickness gets in as the liquor dies out,
An' it crumples the young British soldier.
Crum-, crum-, crumples the soldier . . .
But the worst o' your foes is the sun over'ead:
You ~must~ wear your 'elmet for all that is said:
If 'e finds you uncovered 'e'll knock you down dead,
An' you'll die like a fool of a soldier.
Fool, fool, fool of a soldier . . .
If you're cast for fatigue by a sergeant unkind,
Don't grouse like a woman nor crack on nor blind;
Be handy and civil, and then you will find
That it's beer for the young British soldier.
Beer, beer, beer for the soldier . . .
Now, if you must marry, take care she is old --
A troop-sergeant's widow's the nicest I'm told,
For beauty won't help if your rations is cold,
Nor love ain't enough for a soldier.
'Nough, 'nough, 'nough for a soldier . . .
If the wife should go wrong with a comrade, be loath
To shoot when you catch 'em -- you'll swing, on my oath! --
Make 'im take 'er and keep 'er: that's Hell for them both,
An' you're shut o' the curse of a soldier.
Curse, curse, curse of a soldier . . .
When first under fire an' you're wishful to duck,
Don't look nor take 'eed at the man that is struck,
Be thankful you're livin', and trust to your luck
And march to your front like a soldier.
Front, front, front like a soldier . . .
When 'arf of your bullets fly wide in the ditch,
Don't call your Martini a cross-eyed old bitch;
She's human as you are -- you treat her as sich,
An' she'll fight for the young British soldier.
Fight, fight, fight for the soldier . . .
When shakin' their bustles like ladies so fine,
The guns o' the enemy wheel into line,
Shoot low at the limbers an' don't mind the shine,
For noise never startles the soldier.
Start-, start-, startles the soldier . . .
If your officer's dead and the sergeants look white,
Remember it's ruin to run from a fight:
So take open order, lie down, and sit tight,
And wait for supports like a soldier.
Wait, wait, wait like a soldier . . .
When you're wounded and left on Afghanistan's plains,
And the women come out to cut up what remains,
Jest roll to your rifle and blow out your brains
An' go to your Gawd like a soldier.
Go, go, go like a soldier,
Go, go, go like a soldier,
Go, go, go like a soldier,
So-oldier ~of~ the Queen!
*****
As a matter of general principle, I believe there can be no doubt that criticism in time of war is essential to the maintenance of any kind of democratic government ... Too many people desire to suppress criticism simply because they think it will give some comfort to the enemy ... If that comfort makes the enemy feel better for a few moments, they are welcome to it as far as I am concerned, because the maintenance of the right of criticism in the long run will do the country maintaining it a great deal more good than it will do the enemy, and it will prevent mistakes which might otherwise occur.
Sen. Robert Taft, R-Ohio (a.k.a. "Mr. Republican")
Quoted in The War on Our Freedoms
December 1941
Rudyard Kipling
When the 'arf-made recruity goes out to the East
'E acts like a babe an' 'e drinks like a beast,
An' 'e wonders because 'e is frequent deceased
Ere 'e's fit for to serve as a soldier.
Serve, serve, serve as a soldier,
Serve, serve, serve as a soldier,
Serve, serve, serve as a soldier,
So-oldier ~OF~ the Queen!
Now all you recruities what's drafted to-day,
You shut up your rag-box an' 'ark to my lay,
An' I'll sing you a soldier as far as I may:
A soldier what's fit for a soldier.
Fit, fit, fit for a soldier . . .
First mind you steer clear o' the grog-sellers' huts,
For they sell you Fixed Bay'nets that rots out your guts --
Ay, drink that 'ud eat the live steel from your butts --
An' it's bad for the young British soldier.
Bad, bad, bad for the soldier . . .
When the cholera comes -- as it will past a doubt --
Keep out of the wet and don't go on the shout,
For the sickness gets in as the liquor dies out,
An' it crumples the young British soldier.
Crum-, crum-, crumples the soldier . . .
But the worst o' your foes is the sun over'ead:
You ~must~ wear your 'elmet for all that is said:
If 'e finds you uncovered 'e'll knock you down dead,
An' you'll die like a fool of a soldier.
Fool, fool, fool of a soldier . . .
If you're cast for fatigue by a sergeant unkind,
Don't grouse like a woman nor crack on nor blind;
Be handy and civil, and then you will find
That it's beer for the young British soldier.
Beer, beer, beer for the soldier . . .
Now, if you must marry, take care she is old --
A troop-sergeant's widow's the nicest I'm told,
For beauty won't help if your rations is cold,
Nor love ain't enough for a soldier.
'Nough, 'nough, 'nough for a soldier . . .
If the wife should go wrong with a comrade, be loath
To shoot when you catch 'em -- you'll swing, on my oath! --
Make 'im take 'er and keep 'er: that's Hell for them both,
An' you're shut o' the curse of a soldier.
Curse, curse, curse of a soldier . . .
When first under fire an' you're wishful to duck,
Don't look nor take 'eed at the man that is struck,
Be thankful you're livin', and trust to your luck
And march to your front like a soldier.
Front, front, front like a soldier . . .
When 'arf of your bullets fly wide in the ditch,
Don't call your Martini a cross-eyed old bitch;
She's human as you are -- you treat her as sich,
An' she'll fight for the young British soldier.
Fight, fight, fight for the soldier . . .
When shakin' their bustles like ladies so fine,
The guns o' the enemy wheel into line,
Shoot low at the limbers an' don't mind the shine,
For noise never startles the soldier.
Start-, start-, startles the soldier . . .
If your officer's dead and the sergeants look white,
Remember it's ruin to run from a fight:
So take open order, lie down, and sit tight,
And wait for supports like a soldier.
Wait, wait, wait like a soldier . . .
When you're wounded and left on Afghanistan's plains,
And the women come out to cut up what remains,
Jest roll to your rifle and blow out your brains
An' go to your Gawd like a soldier.
Go, go, go like a soldier,
Go, go, go like a soldier,
Go, go, go like a soldier,
So-oldier ~of~ the Queen!
*****
As a matter of general principle, I believe there can be no doubt that criticism in time of war is essential to the maintenance of any kind of democratic government ... Too many people desire to suppress criticism simply because they think it will give some comfort to the enemy ... If that comfort makes the enemy feel better for a few moments, they are welcome to it as far as I am concerned, because the maintenance of the right of criticism in the long run will do the country maintaining it a great deal more good than it will do the enemy, and it will prevent mistakes which might otherwise occur.
Sen. Robert Taft, R-Ohio (a.k.a. "Mr. Republican")
Quoted in The War on Our Freedoms
December 1941
zondag, juli 11, 2004
Kerry/Edwards Gaining Too Quickly, Officials discuss how to delay Election Day
WASHINGTON -- With great panic streaking the corridors of the White House since it was revealed that John Kerry got a 5-point life in the hourly Newsweek Poll after picking John Edwards, U.S. officials immediately responded that they have discussed the idea of postponing Election Day in the event of a terrorist attack on or about that day, or, in the event it appears the Bush/Cheney ticket might not win, even if it cheats.
A Homeland Security Department spokesman said yesterday that "if we do not appear to be likely to win the election, there is a very good chance that a coincidental terrorist attack would occur in the United States causing the need for immediate postponement and/or cancellation of the Presidential Elections."
The department has referred questions about the matter to the Department of Justice's Office of Legal Counsel, spokesman Brian Roehrkasse said.
DeForest B. Soaries Jr., chairman of the newly created U.S. Election Assistance Commission who was appointed by President Bush, requested authority to postpone indefinately or cancel altogether, the Presidential Elections in November should it appear that the Kerry/Edwards ticket has a possibility of winning.
"Naturally, some sort of "terrorist" attack would likely take place in that event because as we all know, terrorists love President Bush and do not want to see him toppled from power. If there is the combination of a Kerry/Edwards victory and a terrorist attack, even if it is somewhere else in the world, we will move immediately to cancel the elections and send everyone home where they belong." Soaries said.
President Bush, dining on human skulls with Vice President Dick Cheney, cited Homeland Security Secretary Tom Ridge's recent warning of such an attack in a news conference last week, saying it was based on intercepted "chatter" among al Qaeda operatives.
"Terrorists, Saddam, Evil, Evil," Bush recited between bites.
What has Homeland Security officials worried is that Americans might decide at the time of the election that they no longer want Bush and Cheney teaming up to destroy the country and would be willing to let Kerry and Edwards have a chance to muck it up even further.
"We have to be prepared because Americans who vote for Kerry on Election Day are probably terrorists attempting to disrupt the election." Dick Cheney added as blood dripped from his chin. "And if you don't believe me, well, just go fuck yourself." he smiled. "Election Day is ours, baby."
WASHINGTON -- With great panic streaking the corridors of the White House since it was revealed that John Kerry got a 5-point life in the hourly Newsweek Poll after picking John Edwards, U.S. officials immediately responded that they have discussed the idea of postponing Election Day in the event of a terrorist attack on or about that day, or, in the event it appears the Bush/Cheney ticket might not win, even if it cheats.
A Homeland Security Department spokesman said yesterday that "if we do not appear to be likely to win the election, there is a very good chance that a coincidental terrorist attack would occur in the United States causing the need for immediate postponement and/or cancellation of the Presidential Elections."
The department has referred questions about the matter to the Department of Justice's Office of Legal Counsel, spokesman Brian Roehrkasse said.
DeForest B. Soaries Jr., chairman of the newly created U.S. Election Assistance Commission who was appointed by President Bush, requested authority to postpone indefinately or cancel altogether, the Presidential Elections in November should it appear that the Kerry/Edwards ticket has a possibility of winning.
"Naturally, some sort of "terrorist" attack would likely take place in that event because as we all know, terrorists love President Bush and do not want to see him toppled from power. If there is the combination of a Kerry/Edwards victory and a terrorist attack, even if it is somewhere else in the world, we will move immediately to cancel the elections and send everyone home where they belong." Soaries said.
President Bush, dining on human skulls with Vice President Dick Cheney, cited Homeland Security Secretary Tom Ridge's recent warning of such an attack in a news conference last week, saying it was based on intercepted "chatter" among al Qaeda operatives.
"Terrorists, Saddam, Evil, Evil," Bush recited between bites.
What has Homeland Security officials worried is that Americans might decide at the time of the election that they no longer want Bush and Cheney teaming up to destroy the country and would be willing to let Kerry and Edwards have a chance to muck it up even further.
"We have to be prepared because Americans who vote for Kerry on Election Day are probably terrorists attempting to disrupt the election." Dick Cheney added as blood dripped from his chin. "And if you don't believe me, well, just go fuck yourself." he smiled. "Election Day is ours, baby."
vrijdag, juli 09, 2004
Report slams John Edwards for Iraq intelligence failures
WASHINGTON -- In a highly critical report issued Friday, the U.S. Senate Intelligence Committee found that John Edwards was almost solely responsible for prewar estimates of Iraq's weapons of mass destruction being overstated and unsupported by intelligence because he was too inexperienced as a politician and because he's a "trial lawyer".
Committee Chairman Pat Roberts, R-Kansas, told reporters that intelligence used to support the invasion of Iraq was based on assessments given by John Edwards that were "unreasonable and largely unsupported by the available intelligence."
The committee's conclusions are contained in a 511-page report released Friday and every page is a fierce excoriation of John Edwards and how he caused all America's problems. They further concluded that we should expect nothing better from "dangerous scum like trial lawyers" and "inexperienced Vice Presidential candidates".
"Before the war, the John Edwards told the president as well as the Congress and the public that Saddam Hussein had stockpiles of chemical and biological weapons and if left unchecked would probably have a nuclear weapon during this decade," Roberts said.
"Today we know these assessments were wrong."
Sen. Jay Rockefeller, the leading Democrat on the 18-member panel, said that "bad information" from John Edwards was used to bolster the case for war and that if John Edwards had been Vice President, "there's no telling what kind of chaos would have been wraught."
"We in Congress would not have authorized that war with 75 votes if we knew what we know now," the West Virginia Democrat said. "It's all John Edwards' fault."
"Leading up to September 11, John Edwards didn't connect the dots. What did he ever have to say about The War on Terrorism before 9/11, huh? In Iraq, we are even more culpable because the dots themselves never existed and this too, is John Edwards' fault."
He also said John Edwards failed to "accurately or adequately explain the uncertainties behind the judgments in the October 2002 National Intelligence Estimate to policymakers."
Rockefeller said that "John Edwards" will haunt America's national security "for generations to come."
"Our credibility is diminished. Our standing in the world has never been lower," he said. "We have fostered a deep hatred of Americans in the Muslim world, and that will grow. As a direct consequence, our nation is more vulnerable today than ever before. Oh, woe is us if John Edwards becomes Vice President"
OH PLEASE, DADDY CHENEY PLEASE SAVE US FROM CERTAIN DEATH AND DESTRUCTION BY KEEPING JOHN EDWARDS OUT OF YOUR JOB!
zondag, juli 04, 2004
Fourth of July
So it is, happy Independence Day, Americans.
The Cato Institute weighs in on supporting the principles of Independence Day:
"In these and countless other ways, in the name of helping us, government throws us all in a common pot and decides for us. We "pursue happiness" not as individuals but collectively -- through government. We've turned Jefferson's order on its head. Is it any wonder that so many of us are "unhappy" with the programs we get, with the choices government makes for us? Imagine if government chose our national religious program. When government chooses everything, individuals choose nothing. Look at North Korea for the extreme example of that."
*****
"It is certainly rather a curious thing, that after more than eighty years of national existence, we should have hit upon no better way of celebrating the birth-day of our nation than by a clumsy imitation of the old Roman saturnalia," a New York Times editorial complained in 1859. "By one of the most whimsical freaks imaginable," griped the editors, "the burning of powder has become the one significant ceremony of the national patriotism in keeping its highest Saint's day." --from The Patriot Act the Right's op-ed piece by Jonah Goldberg, editor at large of National Review Online
*****
"If you are one of those who love what President Bush has done for this country and believe you must blindly follow the president to deserve to fly the flag, you should ask yourself some difficult questions about just how proud you are of the America we now inhabit:
Are you proud that one in six children lives in poverty in America?
Are you proud that 40 million adult Americans are functional illiterates?
Are you proud that the bulk of the jobs being created these days are low- and minimum-wage jobs?
Are you proud of asking your fellow Americans to live on $5.15 an hour?
Are you proud that, according to a National Geographic Society survey, 85% of young adult Americans cannot find Iraq on the map (and 11% cannot find the United States!)?
Are you proud that the rest of the world, which poured out its heart to us after Sept. 11, now looks at us with disdain and disgust?
Are you proud that nearly 3 billion people on this planet do not have access to clean drinking water when we have the resources and technology to remedy this immediately?
Are you proud of the fact that our president sent our soldiers off to a war that had nothing to do with the self-defense of this country?"
-- The Patriot Act, the Left's op-ed piece by Michael Moore.
*****
Meanwhile, back in Gotham City, Some 36,000 fireworks will burst in the New York sky tonight to celebrate the nation's independence
In addition, a 20-ton chunk of granite from the Adirondack Mountains in upstate New York will be placed inside the 70-foot deep foundation of what used to be the WTC, launching a five-year construction plan for a 1,776-foot skyscraper that will become an iconic symbol for the New York City skyline, The Freedom Tower, or, what might later be known as the world's largest terrorist target.
*****
Wondering how Saddam will be celebrating? Perhaps with a game of Rock, Paper, Saddam
*****
4th Of July
Chris Cornell, Soundgarden
Shower in the dark day
Clean sparks diving down
Cool in the waterway
Where the baptized drown
Naked in the cold sun
Breathing life like fire
Thought I was the only one
But that was just a lie
Cause I heard it in the wind
And I saw it in the sky
And I thought it was the end
And I thought it was the 4th of July
Pale in the flare light
The scared light cracks & disappears
And leads the scorched ones here
And everywhere no one cares
The fire is spreading
And no one wants to speak about it
Down in the hole
Jesus tries to crack a smile
Beneath another shovel load
And I heard it in the wind
And I saw it in the sky
And I thought it was the end
And I thought it was the 4th of July
Now I'm in control
Now I'm in the fall out
Once asleep but now I stand
And I still remember
Your sweet everything
Light a Roman candle
And hold it in your hand
Cause I heard it in the wind
And I saw it in the sky
And I thought it was the end
And I thought it was the 4th of July
Music: Cornell; Lyrics: Cornell
*****
And perhaps most importantly of all on this 4th of July, Todos por Portugal! as we await kickoff this evening of the Portugal-Greece final of the Euro 2004.
zaterdag, juli 03, 2004
Go Fuck Yourself!
Desultory Turgescence, fresh from the absinthe and pilsner killing fields of Zizkov, is admittedly a little late coming to this turgid slice of Republican expressiveness, but just the other day, it appears the Vice President of the United States, the man a mere heartbeat from the Presidency, told Vermont Senator Patrick Leahy, "go fuck yourself", after the vice president complained he didn't like the Vermont Democrat attacking Halliburton. The Pentagon says Halliburton, formerly headed by Cheney, overcharged taxpayers $186 million in Iraq, and Leahy calls it war profiteering.
Better still, he was almost self-congratulatory in his defence of himself, telling Mr Cavuto on the Al Jazeera of America, Fox News, "I think that a lot of my colleagues felt that what I had said badly needed to be said, that it was long overdue."
It is, in the opinions of many, the precise expression the Bush Administration has lovingly doled out to its opponents internationally at home, time and time again. If you don't like it, Go Fuck Yourself.
"Go Fuck Yourself" should become the Republican Party's Presidential Campaign Slogan. In fact, it should be everyone's official slogan.
So sing along with the editors of Desultory Turgescence in celebration of the greatest of the ruling party of America: (to the tune of "Here Comes the Bride")
Go Fuck Yourself,
Go Fuck Yourself.
Go Fuck Yourself,
you terrorist-loving surrender monkey.
(well, you get the picture)...
Desultory Turgescence, fresh from the absinthe and pilsner killing fields of Zizkov, is admittedly a little late coming to this turgid slice of Republican expressiveness, but just the other day, it appears the Vice President of the United States, the man a mere heartbeat from the Presidency, told Vermont Senator Patrick Leahy, "go fuck yourself", after the vice president complained he didn't like the Vermont Democrat attacking Halliburton. The Pentagon says Halliburton, formerly headed by Cheney, overcharged taxpayers $186 million in Iraq, and Leahy calls it war profiteering.
Better still, he was almost self-congratulatory in his defence of himself, telling Mr Cavuto on the Al Jazeera of America, Fox News, "I think that a lot of my colleagues felt that what I had said badly needed to be said, that it was long overdue."
It is, in the opinions of many, the precise expression the Bush Administration has lovingly doled out to its opponents internationally at home, time and time again. If you don't like it, Go Fuck Yourself.
"Go Fuck Yourself" should become the Republican Party's Presidential Campaign Slogan. In fact, it should be everyone's official slogan.
So sing along with the editors of Desultory Turgescence in celebration of the greatest of the ruling party of America: (to the tune of "Here Comes the Bride")
Go Fuck Yourself,
Go Fuck Yourself.
Go Fuck Yourself,
you terrorist-loving surrender monkey.
(well, you get the picture)...
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