BUSH BACKTRACKS ON TERRORISM REMARK?!
Say It Ain't So Kids! President Bush Flip Flops Like A Fish On A Hook?!

NASHVILLE, Aug. 31 -- President Jesus Bush rushed Tuesday to flip flop about his bold and great leader-like assertion that the war on terrorism cannot be won, as his campaign sought to limit the damage from a statement that despite all the rahrah from the convention, shows the commander in chief as defeatist.

"Make no mistake about it: We are winning and we will win," Bush told the 86th annual convention of the American Legion as he continued his journey toward the Republican National Convention for his acceptance speech Thursday night, "Unless of course, we don't win the war because it isn't winnable and even if it were, I'm only making things worse, not better, almost ensuring inevitable defeat." He said that "in this different kind of war, this funny kind of non-existent weapons of mass destruction fake war, we may never sit down at a peace table because frankly, we don't want peace. Peace is our enemy. Fear is our greatest ally."

"We will win by making grandiose statements about how tough we are and how tough we are on terrorism while we continue killing innocent Iraqi civilians at a record-shattering pace," he told the nation's largest veterans organization.

In tone and substance, the remarks differed sharply from the more contemplative words he offered in an interview aired by NBC's "Today" show Monday. Asked about "this war on terror" during that interview, Bush said: "I don't think you can win it. But I think you can create conditions so that those who use terror as a tool are less acceptable in parts of the world. Let's put it that way."

Or as it turns out, let's NOT put it that way since it seems to run in direct contradiction to all those nice, flowery, heroic things being said about me in New York, he is believed to have added.

The statement Monday is a flip flop of his own assertions about having a plan to defeat terrorism, and ran counter to his campaign's strategy of portraying the president as optimistic and resolute. It invited an immediate attack from Democrats, who have been on the defensive in recent weeks over attacks on presidential nominee John F. Kerry's Vietnam War record and position on Iraq.

Kerry's campaign gleefully responded to Bush's American Legion speech Tuesday with a news release headlined, "Bush Flip-Flops on Winning the War on Terror," then tried to top that a few moments later with another echo of a Republican attack on the Massachusetts senator, "Bush: Against Winning the War on Terror Before He Was for It."

It was revealed earlier this afternoon by an undisclosed White House source that the War On Terror is actually being waged to terrorise the American public. "With fear-mongering and the threat of terror hanging in the air like an ominous cloud, what really, besides homophobia and tax cuts for the rich, does the Bush Administration have going for it?" the source asked rhetorically.