False Alarm: Dripping Blood and Oil From His Corporate Gob, Cheney Still Lives
Non-christians and the rest of the world who do not have shares in Haliburton were given a brief moment of excitement yesterday when it was reported that the metal-hearted Veep, anti-Christ Cheney underwent tests at a hospital after complaining of shortness of breath.
Mr. Cheney, 63, was taken to George Washington University Hospital from his home on the grounds of the Naval Observatory early Saturday afternoon after telling his cardiologist, Dr. Jonathan Reiner, that he had been coughing heavily and having trouble catching his breath, it was reported.
Tick tick, Dick. Sadly, another false alarm. Would have been real reason for hope if both Cheney AND Arafat went down in the same week.
*****
Slapping The Other Cheek examines the play by religious nutters to help President Jesus Bush determine just how extreme his love is for all things Christ-like:
"Bob Jones III, president of the fundamentalist college of the same name, has written a letter to the president telling him that "Christ has allowed you to be his servant" so he could "leave an imprint for righteousness," by appointing conservative judges and approving legislation "defined by biblical norm."
"In your re-election, God has graciously granted America - though she doesn't deserve it - a reprieve from the agenda of paganism," Mr. Jones wrote. "Put your agenda on the front burner and let it boil. You owe the liberals nothing. They despise you because they despise your Christ." Way harsh."
From the If A Chimp Can Be President textbook, two Columbia University psychologists have taught monkeys to discriminate computer-generated images containing as many as nine objects and to respond to them in ascending order, with a success rate well above what would be predicted by chance.
"Though monkeys do not recognize the word 'two' or the symbol '2,' they share with humans the capacity to master simple arithmetic, on at least the level of a two-year-old child. We don't have direct evidence yet, but it seems likely that these monkeys, and other non-human primates, can calculate."
Or even vote for president in America.
*****
So, if you've always wanted to be a "real" American, here's your chance:
Attention Citizens Living In God's Country Without His Permission, The President Cordially, Yet Strenuously Invites You to Accept the Lord Jesus Christ as Your Personal Savior – Before it is Too Late.
And happy days to discover Landover Baptist, where the worthwhile worship.
Watch out for the "doomed teenage fag".
*****
Locally, it appears my favourite MP, the bike-riding blonde bear Boris Johnson, has been sacked.
The MP for Henley and editor of The Spectator was "relieved of his duties" as shadow arts minister and party vice-chairman, said a spokesman for the Conservative leader, Michael Howard.
*****
I am a horse
I travel in a train
that is overcrowded
in my compartment
each seat is taken by a woman
with a man sitting on her lap
the air is unbearably tropical
all the travellers have an enormous appetite
they eat without ceasing
suddenly the men
begin to whimper
and long for the maternal breast
they unbutton the women's blouses
and suck the fresh milk to their hearts' content
I alone do not suck
nor am I suckled
nobody sits on my lap
because I am a horse
immense and upright I sit
with my hind-legs up on the train seat
and comfortably lean
on my fore-legs
I whinny a raucous neigh neigh neigh
on my breast glitter
the sex buttons of sex appeal
in neat little rows
like the glittering buttons on uniforms
oh summertime
oh wide wide world
--Hans Arp
tr, Harriett Watts
in *Three Painter-Poets: Arp, Schwitters, Klee*
[Baltimore: Penguin Books, 1974]
zondag, november 14, 2004
vrijdag, november 12, 2004
World's Ugliest Terrorist Finally Dead
It's not unlikely that before too long, President Jesus Bush, once he rises from his post reelection hangover, will rush to the pulpit to claim victory yet again, this time for his Administration's deciding role in the death of Yasir Arafat, the world's ugliest terrorist.
Of course, the fact that President Jesus Bush had nothing to do with his death will not stop him from making wild claims that he personally killed him. After all, President Jesus Bush has a long history of distortion and outright lies to be proud of and adding one more to the heap should only make his legacy that much more profound.
But for a change, the issue today is not President Jesus Bush. It is Yasir Arafat, the world's ugliest terrorist and long recognised "leader" of the Palestinian people and their quest for a homeland of their own once they'd accomplished their peaceful mission of killing all Jews in Israel.
Sadly enough, his death is not just a blip of news in a world filled with killing, but an opportunity for blind people to mourn and glorify his death. For example, the Washington Post begins it's obit of him:
"For virtually his entire adult life, Yasser Arafat had one dream, and he pursued it with such energy and zeal--some would say fanaticism--that he came to personify the dream itself.
The dream was of self-determination and statehood for the Palestinian people, and in the end he did not live to see it."
So much for truth-telling in the media.
This lovely paen to a disgusting, did I mention world's ugliest, terrorist and murderer of women and children does not mention that "the Palestinian people" MIGHT have had a state all the way back in 1948. Unfortunately, in their infinite wisdom, the Arab Coalition surrounding Israel immediately declared war on the nascent state of Israel and then were trounced in a humiliating military defeat. So much for the Palestinian state.
I won't be able to believe, not even after stomaching the last four years of lies and deceits and still swallowing, that outside of Palestine, Arafat's death means anything than the death of the world's ugliest terrorist. He was certainly no uniter for the Palestinian people other than to unite them in an idiotic and futile gesture at ridding the world of Israel.
So whilst some newspapers obits will sing with remorse over Arafat's death, it is important to recall that Arafat, who founded the Palestine Liberation Organization in 1964, was instrumental in developing a Palestinian political culture centered on rejecting the Israeli state to the point of self-spiting absurdity, centered on anti-Semitism and most importantly, centered on decades of terrorism that has done nothing to improve the lot of the Palestinian people and everything to drive them deeper and deeper into obscurity.
And lest we forget about Arafat's many "accomplishments", one might refer to The Boston Globe's Jeff Jacoby, who highlights one of Arafat's earlier accomplishment:
"In May 1974, three PLO terrorists slipped from Lebanon into the northern Israeli town of Ma'alot. They murdered two parents and a child whom they found at home, then seized a local school, taking more than 100 boys and girls hostage and threatening to kill them unless a number of imprisoned terrorists were released. When Israeli troops attempted a rescue, the terrorists exploded hand grenades and opened fire on the students. By the time the horror ended, 25 people were dead; 21 of them were children.
Thirty years later, no one speaks of Ma'alot anymore. The dead children have been forgotten. Everyone knows Arafat's name, but who ever recalls the names of his victims?
So let us recall them: Ilana Turgeman. Rachel Aputa. Yocheved Mazoz. Sarah Ben-Shim'on. Yona Sabag. Yafa Cohen. Shoshana Cohen. Michal Sitrok. Malka Amrosy. Aviva Saada. Yocheved Diyi. Yaakov Levi. Yaakov Kabla. Rina Cohen. Ilana Ne'eman. Sarah Madar. Tamar Dahan. Sarah Soper. Lili Morad. David Madar. Yehudit Madar."
Hopefully, Arafat's Nobel Peace Prize doesn't melt in hell.
*****
And in a final twist of irony, Jewish towns in the disputed territories have been forced to purchase bulletproof buses to protect passengers against Palestinian terrorist guns. Now, the Jerusalem Post reports, the Israeli Foreign Ministry has asked local authorities to let Palestinians use the buses to ride to Yasser Arafat's funeral in Cairo. Ha!
No dice, says the Council of Jewish Communities in the West Bank and Gaza Strip: "We are not ready to honor an abominable murder [sic] who spilled the blood of many Jews."
It's not unlikely that before too long, President Jesus Bush, once he rises from his post reelection hangover, will rush to the pulpit to claim victory yet again, this time for his Administration's deciding role in the death of Yasir Arafat, the world's ugliest terrorist.
Of course, the fact that President Jesus Bush had nothing to do with his death will not stop him from making wild claims that he personally killed him. After all, President Jesus Bush has a long history of distortion and outright lies to be proud of and adding one more to the heap should only make his legacy that much more profound.
But for a change, the issue today is not President Jesus Bush. It is Yasir Arafat, the world's ugliest terrorist and long recognised "leader" of the Palestinian people and their quest for a homeland of their own once they'd accomplished their peaceful mission of killing all Jews in Israel.
Sadly enough, his death is not just a blip of news in a world filled with killing, but an opportunity for blind people to mourn and glorify his death. For example, the Washington Post begins it's obit of him:
"For virtually his entire adult life, Yasser Arafat had one dream, and he pursued it with such energy and zeal--some would say fanaticism--that he came to personify the dream itself.
The dream was of self-determination and statehood for the Palestinian people, and in the end he did not live to see it."
So much for truth-telling in the media.
This lovely paen to a disgusting, did I mention world's ugliest, terrorist and murderer of women and children does not mention that "the Palestinian people" MIGHT have had a state all the way back in 1948. Unfortunately, in their infinite wisdom, the Arab Coalition surrounding Israel immediately declared war on the nascent state of Israel and then were trounced in a humiliating military defeat. So much for the Palestinian state.
I won't be able to believe, not even after stomaching the last four years of lies and deceits and still swallowing, that outside of Palestine, Arafat's death means anything than the death of the world's ugliest terrorist. He was certainly no uniter for the Palestinian people other than to unite them in an idiotic and futile gesture at ridding the world of Israel.
So whilst some newspapers obits will sing with remorse over Arafat's death, it is important to recall that Arafat, who founded the Palestine Liberation Organization in 1964, was instrumental in developing a Palestinian political culture centered on rejecting the Israeli state to the point of self-spiting absurdity, centered on anti-Semitism and most importantly, centered on decades of terrorism that has done nothing to improve the lot of the Palestinian people and everything to drive them deeper and deeper into obscurity.
And lest we forget about Arafat's many "accomplishments", one might refer to The Boston Globe's Jeff Jacoby, who highlights one of Arafat's earlier accomplishment:
"In May 1974, three PLO terrorists slipped from Lebanon into the northern Israeli town of Ma'alot. They murdered two parents and a child whom they found at home, then seized a local school, taking more than 100 boys and girls hostage and threatening to kill them unless a number of imprisoned terrorists were released. When Israeli troops attempted a rescue, the terrorists exploded hand grenades and opened fire on the students. By the time the horror ended, 25 people were dead; 21 of them were children.
Thirty years later, no one speaks of Ma'alot anymore. The dead children have been forgotten. Everyone knows Arafat's name, but who ever recalls the names of his victims?
So let us recall them: Ilana Turgeman. Rachel Aputa. Yocheved Mazoz. Sarah Ben-Shim'on. Yona Sabag. Yafa Cohen. Shoshana Cohen. Michal Sitrok. Malka Amrosy. Aviva Saada. Yocheved Diyi. Yaakov Levi. Yaakov Kabla. Rina Cohen. Ilana Ne'eman. Sarah Madar. Tamar Dahan. Sarah Soper. Lili Morad. David Madar. Yehudit Madar."
Hopefully, Arafat's Nobel Peace Prize doesn't melt in hell.
*****
And in a final twist of irony, Jewish towns in the disputed territories have been forced to purchase bulletproof buses to protect passengers against Palestinian terrorist guns. Now, the Jerusalem Post reports, the Israeli Foreign Ministry has asked local authorities to let Palestinians use the buses to ride to Yasser Arafat's funeral in Cairo. Ha!
No dice, says the Council of Jewish Communities in the West Bank and Gaza Strip: "We are not ready to honor an abominable murder [sic] who spilled the blood of many Jews."
woensdag, november 10, 2004
Attorney General Asshat Resigns, Noting: Mission Accomplished
Office of the Attorney General Asshat
November 9, 2004
Message from the Attorney General Asshat to Justice Department Employees
Nearly four years ago in my first message to the Justice Community, I wrote to each of you of my goals for this noble Department: to "rid America of disbelievers, heretics, heathens, girly-men and terrorist sympathisers who don't support our gallant troops and to reconfigure the American justice tradition so that justice will be available to all who embrace Jesus Christ as their saviour and destroy those who don't."
Today I write to you at the close of my time as the Attorney General Asshat, gratified that together we have accomplished our goals and given America a new hope in Jesus Christ our saviour.
On November 2nd, I submitted to the President my intention to resign from the office of Attorney General Asshat of the United States, effective upon confirmation of my successor. As I take leave of this high office, I am filled with gratitude to you, the men and women of the Department of Justice, for an extraordinary period of service that has ushered in an extraordinary era of injustice and insecurity for the American people. We live today in an America that can kill innocents abroad at will, in an America that is safer and morally stronger than ever before; an America
where freedom is not a promise but threat, not a dream but a disaster. I say: "Mission Accomplished".
In partnership with the American people we have compiled a record of all anyone who has checked out a library book about topics we disapprove of, we've launched massive proceedings against internet bong sales, and know what everyone who we don't like is doing at any given moment of the day, an achievement that is remarkable if judged merely by peacetime standards.
But for a time of war, we have surpassed even my wildest dreams ever since I lost to the dead Senator of Missouri four long years ago.
For three years since the worst attack in our nation's history, and in defiance of all expectations, America has systematically eroded the rights of her citizens and simultaneously, has not endured another major terrorist attack. Violent crime is at its lowest rate in three decades because we've locked up all the coloured men. We have engineered double-digit reductions in the rates of sexual assault, robbery and assault because we have locked up all the coloured men. Gun crime prosecutions are at a record high and violent crimes committed with guns are at a record low. Drug use among the nation's youth is declining as they learn that Jesus is the only drug they need. Corporate criminals are facing justice, such as more and unimagineable wealth and prosperity, and corruption has been restored to the nation's marketplace. America's values, as set forth in our Constitution, reflected in our laws, and cherished in our hearts, have been honored and defended.
Now let's all pray to Jesus Christ and have a nice celebration by finding more citizen rights to erode, more ways to spy on our neighbors, more and improved ways of locking up or killing anyone who doesn't love God and embrace our fundamentalist doctrines.
Amen.
*****
In a related story:
ASHCROFT NAMED AMBASSADOR TO MARS Leaves Justice Department After Justice Department Vanishes
Moments after resigning his post at the Justice Department, Attorney General John Ashcroft was tapped for another big job in the Bush administration, being named the United States’ first-ever ambassador to Mars.
“I can think of no one better suited to being ambassador to Mars than John Ashcroft,” said President Bush in a brief statement. “He has been preparing for this job for his entire life.”
Mr. Ashcroft said that he was motivated in part to resign from the Justice Department because the Justice Department no longer existed.
The Department, which had been gradually disappearing over the past three and a half years, completely vanished over the weekend, Mr. Ashcroft said.
“Once I saw that the Justice Department was, in fact, no longer there, I said to myself, ‘Mission accomplished,’” Mr. Ashcroft told reporters.
In Washington, speculation ran rampant that Mr. Ashcroft’s lightning-rod status had motivated the White House to shift him to a role where he could do little damage, serving as ambassador to a presumptively unpopulated planet.
But Mr. Ashcroft quickly dispelled all such talk, telling reporters that he had ambitious plans to turn Mars into a penal colony “that will be the envy of the solar system.”
One White House aide, on condition of anonymity, had this to say about Mr. Ashcroft’s new posting: “At least when John’s on Mars we won’t be able to hear him sing.”
Elsewhere, Teresa Heinz Kerry announced today that she would embark on a three-week tour of the red states, stopping in each state to cuss out random voters.
via The Borowitz Report
*****
Lastly, join the fun, apologies accepted:
Sorry Everybody
via Bloggerheads
Office of the Attorney General Asshat
November 9, 2004
Message from the Attorney General Asshat to Justice Department Employees
Nearly four years ago in my first message to the Justice Community, I wrote to each of you of my goals for this noble Department: to "rid America of disbelievers, heretics, heathens, girly-men and terrorist sympathisers who don't support our gallant troops and to reconfigure the American justice tradition so that justice will be available to all who embrace Jesus Christ as their saviour and destroy those who don't."
Today I write to you at the close of my time as the Attorney General Asshat, gratified that together we have accomplished our goals and given America a new hope in Jesus Christ our saviour.
On November 2nd, I submitted to the President my intention to resign from the office of Attorney General Asshat of the United States, effective upon confirmation of my successor. As I take leave of this high office, I am filled with gratitude to you, the men and women of the Department of Justice, for an extraordinary period of service that has ushered in an extraordinary era of injustice and insecurity for the American people. We live today in an America that can kill innocents abroad at will, in an America that is safer and morally stronger than ever before; an America
where freedom is not a promise but threat, not a dream but a disaster. I say: "Mission Accomplished".
In partnership with the American people we have compiled a record of all anyone who has checked out a library book about topics we disapprove of, we've launched massive proceedings against internet bong sales, and know what everyone who we don't like is doing at any given moment of the day, an achievement that is remarkable if judged merely by peacetime standards.
But for a time of war, we have surpassed even my wildest dreams ever since I lost to the dead Senator of Missouri four long years ago.
For three years since the worst attack in our nation's history, and in defiance of all expectations, America has systematically eroded the rights of her citizens and simultaneously, has not endured another major terrorist attack. Violent crime is at its lowest rate in three decades because we've locked up all the coloured men. We have engineered double-digit reductions in the rates of sexual assault, robbery and assault because we have locked up all the coloured men. Gun crime prosecutions are at a record high and violent crimes committed with guns are at a record low. Drug use among the nation's youth is declining as they learn that Jesus is the only drug they need. Corporate criminals are facing justice, such as more and unimagineable wealth and prosperity, and corruption has been restored to the nation's marketplace. America's values, as set forth in our Constitution, reflected in our laws, and cherished in our hearts, have been honored and defended.
Now let's all pray to Jesus Christ and have a nice celebration by finding more citizen rights to erode, more ways to spy on our neighbors, more and improved ways of locking up or killing anyone who doesn't love God and embrace our fundamentalist doctrines.
Amen.
*****
In a related story:
ASHCROFT NAMED AMBASSADOR TO MARS Leaves Justice Department After Justice Department Vanishes
Moments after resigning his post at the Justice Department, Attorney General John Ashcroft was tapped for another big job in the Bush administration, being named the United States’ first-ever ambassador to Mars.
“I can think of no one better suited to being ambassador to Mars than John Ashcroft,” said President Bush in a brief statement. “He has been preparing for this job for his entire life.”
Mr. Ashcroft said that he was motivated in part to resign from the Justice Department because the Justice Department no longer existed.
The Department, which had been gradually disappearing over the past three and a half years, completely vanished over the weekend, Mr. Ashcroft said.
“Once I saw that the Justice Department was, in fact, no longer there, I said to myself, ‘Mission accomplished,’” Mr. Ashcroft told reporters.
In Washington, speculation ran rampant that Mr. Ashcroft’s lightning-rod status had motivated the White House to shift him to a role where he could do little damage, serving as ambassador to a presumptively unpopulated planet.
But Mr. Ashcroft quickly dispelled all such talk, telling reporters that he had ambitious plans to turn Mars into a penal colony “that will be the envy of the solar system.”
One White House aide, on condition of anonymity, had this to say about Mr. Ashcroft’s new posting: “At least when John’s on Mars we won’t be able to hear him sing.”
Elsewhere, Teresa Heinz Kerry announced today that she would embark on a three-week tour of the red states, stopping in each state to cuss out random voters.
via The Borowitz Report
*****
Lastly, join the fun, apologies accepted:
Sorry Everybody
via Bloggerheads
maandag, november 08, 2004
Christians Waste No Time In Destroying America
Well just a few days after 51% of Americans affirmed their love and devotion for the great warrior against terrorism, President Jesus Bush, his followers are already busy at work transforming the nation into Jesus Freak Central.
Out with the old, in the with the new. And the best thing for Red State Americans is that now, they won't have to bother with difficult subjects like science, for example because their bibles will tell them all they need to know. At least that's what the school officials in Grantsburg, Wisconsin think. ,They've decided to revise the science curriculum to allow the teaching of creationism, which should thrill science teachers everywhere - now they won't have to prepare a curriculum! Jesus has done it for them!
Members of Grantsburg's school board believed that a state law governing the teaching of evolution was too restrictive. The science curriculum "should not be totally inclusive of just one scientific theory," said Joni Burgin, superintendent of the district of 1,000 students in northwest Wisconsin. "Jesus IS science when you think about it, so we don't really need to worry about the rest. Jesus will take care of it"
*****
Bush Expected To Press For Overhaul Of Tax Code
WASHINGTON -- President Bush has signaled he wants to produce a major overhaul of the federal tax code in his second term to ensure that who make alot of money can make more and people who don't make alot of money stay that way.
Experts see many political and practical difficulties if Bush takes a more radical approach to tax reform by adopting a law which allows for the nation to "show how much they love Jesus" by paying an increase in taxes for those making under $100,000 while the wealthiest one percent of the nation, including oil and military-related corporations, will be exempt from all tax in the future.
But many analysts believe that, at the very least, any Bush rewriting of the tax code is likely to exempt the elimination of taxes except for "commies, East Coast liberals, girly-men and people of colour who aren't already token minstrel cabinet members. To many conservatives, this would be a step in the right direction but does not go far enough.
"Not only should they have to pay higher taxes, these liberal terrorist-lovers, but they should also have their heads chopped off," House Speaker Dennis Hastert threatened.
Major tax overhaul seems unlikely, some analysts say, noting that Congress and the two parties are divided on the question and that true reform would remove precious tax breaks for many powerful interests that worked hard to get them.
In addition, many Democrats and moderate Republicans oppose changing the essential philosophy of the income tax system: the more you make, the higher your tax rate, winkwink.
At this point, the shape of a tax-overhaul plan is nothing more than guesswork because Bush is far from settling on any package. But he has said he wants an overhaul that brings in the same amount of revenue as the current system.
Well just a few days after 51% of Americans affirmed their love and devotion for the great warrior against terrorism, President Jesus Bush, his followers are already busy at work transforming the nation into Jesus Freak Central.
Out with the old, in the with the new. And the best thing for Red State Americans is that now, they won't have to bother with difficult subjects like science, for example because their bibles will tell them all they need to know. At least that's what the school officials in Grantsburg, Wisconsin think. ,They've decided to revise the science curriculum to allow the teaching of creationism, which should thrill science teachers everywhere - now they won't have to prepare a curriculum! Jesus has done it for them!
Members of Grantsburg's school board believed that a state law governing the teaching of evolution was too restrictive. The science curriculum "should not be totally inclusive of just one scientific theory," said Joni Burgin, superintendent of the district of 1,000 students in northwest Wisconsin. "Jesus IS science when you think about it, so we don't really need to worry about the rest. Jesus will take care of it"
*****
Bush Expected To Press For Overhaul Of Tax Code
WASHINGTON -- President Bush has signaled he wants to produce a major overhaul of the federal tax code in his second term to ensure that who make alot of money can make more and people who don't make alot of money stay that way.
Experts see many political and practical difficulties if Bush takes a more radical approach to tax reform by adopting a law which allows for the nation to "show how much they love Jesus" by paying an increase in taxes for those making under $100,000 while the wealthiest one percent of the nation, including oil and military-related corporations, will be exempt from all tax in the future.
But many analysts believe that, at the very least, any Bush rewriting of the tax code is likely to exempt the elimination of taxes except for "commies, East Coast liberals, girly-men and people of colour who aren't already token minstrel cabinet members. To many conservatives, this would be a step in the right direction but does not go far enough.
"Not only should they have to pay higher taxes, these liberal terrorist-lovers, but they should also have their heads chopped off," House Speaker Dennis Hastert threatened.
Major tax overhaul seems unlikely, some analysts say, noting that Congress and the two parties are divided on the question and that true reform would remove precious tax breaks for many powerful interests that worked hard to get them.
In addition, many Democrats and moderate Republicans oppose changing the essential philosophy of the income tax system: the more you make, the higher your tax rate, winkwink.
At this point, the shape of a tax-overhaul plan is nothing more than guesswork because Bush is far from settling on any package. But he has said he wants an overhaul that brings in the same amount of revenue as the current system.
zaterdag, november 06, 2004
Picking Up The Pieces
Only yesterday, President Jesus Bush's favourite poodle, PM Tony Blair urged his fellow Europeans to "face up to the reality and bow and kneel before your master", a call that was roundly rejected by one of the many remaining voices of sanity in Europe, French President Chirac, who compounded his opposition to appeals for closer cooperation between the US and Europe in Mr Bush's second term by snubbing an EU summit lunch for Ayad Allawi, Iraq's interim prime minister, and urging Europe to act as a counterweight to American hegemony "in a world that's more multi-polar than ever".
Chirac is probably just jealous that he doesn't have a legion of idiotic, Jesus-loving voters to back him up but nevertheless, I think we can agree: (at least 50% of) Americans Is So Stupid.
Killing Flies
Desultory Turgescence's favourite quote of the week comes from the interim president of Iraq, Ghazi al-Yawar, has rejected the coalition's plans to launch an all-out assault on the rebel-held town of Falluja.
Mr al-Yawar told the Kuwaiti daily al-Qabas: "I completely disagree with those who see a need to decide [Falluja] through military action."
He added: "The coalition's handling of this crisis is wrong. It's like someone who fired bullets at his horse's head just because a fly landed on it; the horse died and the fly went away."
Well, Mr al-Yawar, wake up and smell another four years of bullets.
*****
How Many God-Fearing Republicans Does It Take To Change A Lightbulb?
Kudos to the group called Yes Bush Can, who over the last several weeks of the election provoked numerous loyal Republicans to happily sign a pledge in which, among other things:
1. They agreed to host a permanent nuclear waste storage facility in their neighbourhood.
2. Promised not to have sex before marriage.
3. Specified which branch of the military they would prefer their children to join to fight America's forthcoming war against North Korea.
"That's what's amazing about the discourse in this country," says Mike Bonnano, one of the two absurdists behind Yes Bush Can. "People are so used to complete absurdity that nothing surprises them any more."
It also illustrates that the blind will keep on following blindly. The depth of peoples' faith, either religiously or politically, knows no bounds.
*****
What Isn't To Love?
We decided to do a samplying of some of the other bloggers listed on our links side and it appears some people are not as satisfied as others about the American election results:
Four More Fears
"This may be the year when we finally come face to face with ourselves; finally just lay back and say it -- that we are really just a nation of 220 million used car salesmen with all the money we need to buy guns, and no qualms at all about killing anybody else in the world who tries to make us uncomfortable."
Hunter S. Thompson, Fear And Loathing On the Campaign Trail, November, 1972. via Whiskey Bar
Four More Years by Lyssas Lounge envisions new condoms with the warning label "Say No To Sex and Yes To Jesus", via A Fistful of Euros.
Wow. It appears to be confirmed. Have a look at Comparison of IQ and Voting Patterns in the US - many thanks, via JuliusBlog. A comparison of Jesus Freaks and IQ would be as fascinatingly predictable as well, I reckon.
The Unbearable Darkness of Being by Lakshmi Chaudhry:
"On Tuesday, the largest turnout in recent history couldn't save us from defeat. Democracy won and so did George Bush. And all the Monday morning quarterbacking doesn't change the sad fact that the truth did not set us free. Nearly 52 percent of all Americans preferred to simply ignore reality to keep their faith in God and the man who is only too happy to play messiah.
This is now their White House, their Senate, their House of Representatives, and very likely their Supreme Court. It's their country." - via De Leeskamer
You might wonder: Will The Election Change Literary Culture? as they have at mediabistro, via Maud Newton -- it might do, for those Americans wishing to expatriot themselves to Canada, to have a look at this map of The United States of American and Jesusland. Laugh through your tears...
Meanwhile, 525 Reasons To Dump Bush notes that "The future of this site is unclear. We've talked about adding another ten to the URL, turning our attention to Congress, and calling it 535 Reasons to Keep an Eye on Democracy, but we are, understandably, ready for a break from daily updates."
Perhaps it's time to start an "Americans Out of America!" campaign.
"We say outright: these are madmen, yet these madmen
have their own logic, their teaching, their code, their God
even, and it's as deepset as it could be." — Dostoyevesky, via One Good Move who also provides a link to Jon Stewart reporting on the world's reaction to Dubs election, angry to violently angry, and on his "make-believe arrogance."
"Bush and Cheney- what a pair!
Who said life isn't fair?
While Iraq gets tanks and occupation-
You have idiots to run your nation!" Election Condolences for Hallmark or Yahoo greetings, via Baghdad Burning/Riverbend.
Steve Bell's take on Four More Years via Fat Buddha - hang in there, mate, at least Bush won't be running the Blues into the ground.
If you can't get at Bush, there's always the Osama bin Laden Stress Doll: Punch him! Crush him! Twist him! Stab him! via Je Blog.
"TV Catalunya has posted a forum where people can give their opinions about the US elections. Here are a few of them. The original Catalan is first, in quotations; my translation follows.
"Em sembla lamentable que haguem d'aguantar l'imbècil mes gran del mon quatre anys mes. Felicitats als ignorants i analfabets; els seus vots sí són vàlids."
I think it's terrible that we have to put up with the biggest imbecile in the world four more years. Congratulations to the ignorant and illiterate; their votes do count.
"i l'altre es l'insult amb motiu, i aquests menja-hamburgueses ara per ara se'ls mereixen tots, només un poble com ells, després de veure TOTES les desgracies que ha fet Bush, el tornarien a votar per "campechano i cristià"... s'ha de ser BURRO."
Another thing is an insult with a good reason, and those burger-eaters deserve all there are right now, only a people like them, after seeing all the bad things Bush has done, would vote for him again because he's "friendly and Christian"...they must be stupid."
More via Iberian Notes.
NB: For the record, although I think "hamburger-eaters" is funny, my experience has always been that even liberals eat hamburgers, the non-vegans anyway, so perhaps it should be clarified that it is the "Jesus-loving hambuger-eaters" in particular. That way I'm free to gourge myself without fear of retribution from TV Catalunya viewers.
Killer Cola
Although once the slogan for Coca Cola was "Coke Adds Life", it appear they can now add the slogan Coke Adds Death to their stable of slogans.
It appears that instead of paying hefty fees to international chemical companies for patented pesticides, farmers in India are reportedly spraying their cotton and chilli fields with Coca-Cola.
In the past month there have been reports of hundreds of farmers turning to Coke in Andhra Pradesh and Chattisgarh states.
Gotu Laxmaiah, a farmer from Ramakrishnapuram in Andra Pradesh, said he was delighted with his new cola spray, which he applied this year to several hectares of cotton. "I observed that the pests began to die after the soft drink was sprayed on my cotton," he told the Deccan Herald newspaper.
*****
Lastly, quite an evening here in Inkberrow last night for Guy Fawkes Night. The new horse was quite dazzled by fireworks display and equally jittery confounded by the enormous bonfire in the acreage out behind us but survived the night. As did we and our homemade mulled wine.
Only yesterday, President Jesus Bush's favourite poodle, PM Tony Blair urged his fellow Europeans to "face up to the reality and bow and kneel before your master", a call that was roundly rejected by one of the many remaining voices of sanity in Europe, French President Chirac, who compounded his opposition to appeals for closer cooperation between the US and Europe in Mr Bush's second term by snubbing an EU summit lunch for Ayad Allawi, Iraq's interim prime minister, and urging Europe to act as a counterweight to American hegemony "in a world that's more multi-polar than ever".
Chirac is probably just jealous that he doesn't have a legion of idiotic, Jesus-loving voters to back him up but nevertheless, I think we can agree: (at least 50% of) Americans Is So Stupid.
Killing Flies
Desultory Turgescence's favourite quote of the week comes from the interim president of Iraq, Ghazi al-Yawar, has rejected the coalition's plans to launch an all-out assault on the rebel-held town of Falluja.
Mr al-Yawar told the Kuwaiti daily al-Qabas: "I completely disagree with those who see a need to decide [Falluja] through military action."
He added: "The coalition's handling of this crisis is wrong. It's like someone who fired bullets at his horse's head just because a fly landed on it; the horse died and the fly went away."
Well, Mr al-Yawar, wake up and smell another four years of bullets.
*****
How Many God-Fearing Republicans Does It Take To Change A Lightbulb?
Kudos to the group called Yes Bush Can, who over the last several weeks of the election provoked numerous loyal Republicans to happily sign a pledge in which, among other things:
1. They agreed to host a permanent nuclear waste storage facility in their neighbourhood.
2. Promised not to have sex before marriage.
3. Specified which branch of the military they would prefer their children to join to fight America's forthcoming war against North Korea.
"That's what's amazing about the discourse in this country," says Mike Bonnano, one of the two absurdists behind Yes Bush Can. "People are so used to complete absurdity that nothing surprises them any more."
It also illustrates that the blind will keep on following blindly. The depth of peoples' faith, either religiously or politically, knows no bounds.
*****
What Isn't To Love?
We decided to do a samplying of some of the other bloggers listed on our links side and it appears some people are not as satisfied as others about the American election results:
Four More Fears
"This may be the year when we finally come face to face with ourselves; finally just lay back and say it -- that we are really just a nation of 220 million used car salesmen with all the money we need to buy guns, and no qualms at all about killing anybody else in the world who tries to make us uncomfortable."
Hunter S. Thompson, Fear And Loathing On the Campaign Trail, November, 1972. via Whiskey Bar
Four More Years by Lyssas Lounge envisions new condoms with the warning label "Say No To Sex and Yes To Jesus", via A Fistful of Euros.
Wow. It appears to be confirmed. Have a look at Comparison of IQ and Voting Patterns in the US - many thanks, via JuliusBlog. A comparison of Jesus Freaks and IQ would be as fascinatingly predictable as well, I reckon.
The Unbearable Darkness of Being by Lakshmi Chaudhry:
"On Tuesday, the largest turnout in recent history couldn't save us from defeat. Democracy won and so did George Bush. And all the Monday morning quarterbacking doesn't change the sad fact that the truth did not set us free. Nearly 52 percent of all Americans preferred to simply ignore reality to keep their faith in God and the man who is only too happy to play messiah.
This is now their White House, their Senate, their House of Representatives, and very likely their Supreme Court. It's their country." - via De Leeskamer
You might wonder: Will The Election Change Literary Culture? as they have at mediabistro, via Maud Newton -- it might do, for those Americans wishing to expatriot themselves to Canada, to have a look at this map of The United States of American and Jesusland. Laugh through your tears...
Meanwhile, 525 Reasons To Dump Bush notes that "The future of this site is unclear. We've talked about adding another ten to the URL, turning our attention to Congress, and calling it 535 Reasons to Keep an Eye on Democracy, but we are, understandably, ready for a break from daily updates."
Perhaps it's time to start an "Americans Out of America!" campaign.
"We say outright: these are madmen, yet these madmen
have their own logic, their teaching, their code, their God
even, and it's as deepset as it could be." — Dostoyevesky, via One Good Move who also provides a link to Jon Stewart reporting on the world's reaction to Dubs election, angry to violently angry, and on his "make-believe arrogance."
"Bush and Cheney- what a pair!
Who said life isn't fair?
While Iraq gets tanks and occupation-
You have idiots to run your nation!" Election Condolences for Hallmark or Yahoo greetings, via Baghdad Burning/Riverbend.
Steve Bell's take on Four More Years via Fat Buddha - hang in there, mate, at least Bush won't be running the Blues into the ground.
If you can't get at Bush, there's always the Osama bin Laden Stress Doll: Punch him! Crush him! Twist him! Stab him! via Je Blog.
"TV Catalunya has posted a forum where people can give their opinions about the US elections. Here are a few of them. The original Catalan is first, in quotations; my translation follows.
"Em sembla lamentable que haguem d'aguantar l'imbècil mes gran del mon quatre anys mes. Felicitats als ignorants i analfabets; els seus vots sí són vàlids."
I think it's terrible that we have to put up with the biggest imbecile in the world four more years. Congratulations to the ignorant and illiterate; their votes do count.
"i l'altre es l'insult amb motiu, i aquests menja-hamburgueses ara per ara se'ls mereixen tots, només un poble com ells, després de veure TOTES les desgracies que ha fet Bush, el tornarien a votar per "campechano i cristià"... s'ha de ser BURRO."
Another thing is an insult with a good reason, and those burger-eaters deserve all there are right now, only a people like them, after seeing all the bad things Bush has done, would vote for him again because he's "friendly and Christian"...they must be stupid."
More via Iberian Notes.
NB: For the record, although I think "hamburger-eaters" is funny, my experience has always been that even liberals eat hamburgers, the non-vegans anyway, so perhaps it should be clarified that it is the "Jesus-loving hambuger-eaters" in particular. That way I'm free to gourge myself without fear of retribution from TV Catalunya viewers.
Killer Cola
Although once the slogan for Coca Cola was "Coke Adds Life", it appear they can now add the slogan Coke Adds Death to their stable of slogans.
It appears that instead of paying hefty fees to international chemical companies for patented pesticides, farmers in India are reportedly spraying their cotton and chilli fields with Coca-Cola.
In the past month there have been reports of hundreds of farmers turning to Coke in Andhra Pradesh and Chattisgarh states.
Gotu Laxmaiah, a farmer from Ramakrishnapuram in Andra Pradesh, said he was delighted with his new cola spray, which he applied this year to several hectares of cotton. "I observed that the pests began to die after the soft drink was sprayed on my cotton," he told the Deccan Herald newspaper.
*****
Lastly, quite an evening here in Inkberrow last night for Guy Fawkes Night. The new horse was quite dazzled by fireworks display and equally jittery confounded by the enormous bonfire in the acreage out behind us but survived the night. As did we and our homemade mulled wine.
woensdag, november 03, 2004
PRAISE JESUS AND DROP THE BOMBS!
Lucky Americans Confirm Another Dollop Of Bush Is In The Cards
By a majority, Americans confirmed yesterday their love of guns, morality, bible thumping and most of all, President Dubya, as the hundreds of millions of Americans chose another four years of their heady and marvelous successes in the war on terror.
I for one, am happy to see America finally coming out of the closet.
Finally we are free to see America, happily, as it is: filled by a majority with the kind of small-minded oblivion we've all come to love so much here on earth in the last few years. We can be proud that there is a nation of people over there who openly embrace the baser aspects of human kind and more importantly, the lowest common denominators:
Fear and Jesus.
It is Fear and Jesus who won the day. The votes may tally up for Bush and for Kerry but that's all Americans seem to be able to digest these days. Fear of terrorism and faith that President Jesus Bush, the general of the Jesus Army of Democracy will grind the heathen Muslims into the earth like grinding out a filterless Camel into a stone ashtray.
The trailor parks of America are rejoicing!
The Evangelical places of worship will heave with excitement!
Lovers of guns, country music, being born again, moralistic venom, the gouging out of thinking, the sweet embrace of ignorance, all signs pointing in the direction:
Hell, sweet hell for the non-believers.
maandag, november 01, 2004
HAPPY ELECTION DAY, YEA CRAZY BASTIDS
I would like to draw your attention to an article I wrote back in auld days when a pretty little cross-eyed and buck-toothed bird called Ms Rice was urging us to support the invasion of Iraq and at the same time urging Saddam to realise the jig was up, urged us simultaneously realise that Time Is Running Out.
And time is running out.
You Americans have the fate of the world on your shoulders.
The papers in England are filled with your election, afraid no doubt, that England's chippy twerp might have to switch laps from Bush to Kerry, might have to take his poodle act somewhere else where people still believe in 45 minute myths and the dimensions of the word "evil".
I am listening to a Belgian radio station as I type this. Radio Brussels. Once an hour, they have the news and the news, even in Brussels, is the election in America.
So time is running out on our faith.
*****
Not even the great minds of Desultory Turgescence can come up with a winner in this one. But we bet that the winner will not be the American people.
We've read many articles over the last three and a half years about Bush and his Administration. The question for Americans to ask themselves is whether they prefer to be conservative as a nation or open as a nation.
We hope against logic that the election's results won't in more litigation, more abortions of the electoral process, more lack of sense.
*****
Many Happy Returns
Many thanks to the very capable Shelby Long for his insights on the World Chess Championship and for filling in for the Desultory Turgescence staff whilst the Home Offices were in the process of moving from Location A to Location B. Suffice it to say that Inberrow is sating the palate quite nicely.
In our absence, America has inched closer daily to the final countdown of the election which will likely have no forseeable end and though true that much bile has crept up with the round-the-clock advertising assaults and the insults of lies and distortions of both candidates, we're saving the usual political sarcasm and assaults for tomorrow, or as you Earthlings like to call it, Election Day.
In the interim, whilst sweeping up and setting up, enjoy this Keats poem which fills in nicely around the edges for this time of year:
TO AUTUMN
1.
SEASON of mists and mellow fruitfulness,
Close bosom-friend of the maturing sun;
Conspiring with him how to load and bless
With fruit the vines that round the thatch-eves run;
To bend with apples the moss'd cottage-trees,
And fill all fruit with ripeness to the core;
To swell the gourd, and plump the hazel shells
With a sweet kernel; to set budding more,
And still more, later flowers for the bees,
Until they think warm days will never cease,
For Summer has o'er-brimm'd their clammy cells.
2.
Who hath not seen thee oft amid thy store?
Sometimes whoever seeks abroad may find
Thee sitting careless on a granary floor,
Thy hair soft-lifted by the winnowing wind;
Or on a half-reap'd furrow sound asleep,
Drows'd with the fume of poppies, while thy hook
Spares the next swath and all its twined flowers:
And sometimes like a gleaner thou dost keep
Steady thy laden head across a brook;
Or by a cyder-press, with patient look,
Thou watchest the last oozings hours by hours.
3.
Where are the songs of Spring? Ay, where are they?
Think not of them, thou hast thy music too,--
While barred clouds bloom the soft-dying day,
And touch the stubble plains with rosy hue;
Then in a wailful choir the small gnats mourn
Among the river sallows, borne aloft
Or sinking as the light wind lives or dies;
And full-grown lambs loud bleat from hilly bourn;
Hedge-crickets sing; and now with treble soft
The red-breast whistles from a garden-croft;
And gathering swallows twitter in the skies.
--John Keats
Many thanks to the very capable Shelby Long for his insights on the World Chess Championship and for filling in for the Desultory Turgescence staff whilst the Home Offices were in the process of moving from Location A to Location B. Suffice it to say that Inberrow is sating the palate quite nicely.
In our absence, America has inched closer daily to the final countdown of the election which will likely have no forseeable end and though true that much bile has crept up with the round-the-clock advertising assaults and the insults of lies and distortions of both candidates, we're saving the usual political sarcasm and assaults for tomorrow, or as you Earthlings like to call it, Election Day.
In the interim, whilst sweeping up and setting up, enjoy this Keats poem which fills in nicely around the edges for this time of year:
TO AUTUMN
1.
SEASON of mists and mellow fruitfulness,
Close bosom-friend of the maturing sun;
Conspiring with him how to load and bless
With fruit the vines that round the thatch-eves run;
To bend with apples the moss'd cottage-trees,
And fill all fruit with ripeness to the core;
To swell the gourd, and plump the hazel shells
With a sweet kernel; to set budding more,
And still more, later flowers for the bees,
Until they think warm days will never cease,
For Summer has o'er-brimm'd their clammy cells.
2.
Who hath not seen thee oft amid thy store?
Sometimes whoever seeks abroad may find
Thee sitting careless on a granary floor,
Thy hair soft-lifted by the winnowing wind;
Or on a half-reap'd furrow sound asleep,
Drows'd with the fume of poppies, while thy hook
Spares the next swath and all its twined flowers:
And sometimes like a gleaner thou dost keep
Steady thy laden head across a brook;
Or by a cyder-press, with patient look,
Thou watchest the last oozings hours by hours.
3.
Where are the songs of Spring? Ay, where are they?
Think not of them, thou hast thy music too,--
While barred clouds bloom the soft-dying day,
And touch the stubble plains with rosy hue;
Then in a wailful choir the small gnats mourn
Among the river sallows, borne aloft
Or sinking as the light wind lives or dies;
And full-grown lambs loud bleat from hilly bourn;
Hedge-crickets sing; and now with treble soft
The red-breast whistles from a garden-croft;
And gathering swallows twitter in the skies.
--John Keats
donderdag, oktober 07, 2004
The Unknown
As we know,
There are known knowns.
There are things we know we know.
We also know
There are known unknowns.
That is to say
We know there are some things
We do not know.
But there are also unknown unknowns,
The ones we don't know
We don't know.
--Donald Rumsfeld
fr. Feb. 12, 2002, Department of Defense news briefing
As we know,
There are known knowns.
There are things we know we know.
We also know
There are known unknowns.
That is to say
We know there are some things
We do not know.
But there are also unknown unknowns,
The ones we don't know
We don't know.
--Donald Rumsfeld
fr. Feb. 12, 2002, Department of Defense news briefing
vrijdag, oktober 01, 2004
"THE FUTURE BELONGS TO FREEDOM, NOT TO FEAR"
It's probably sad that the moment I heard that line uttered tonight, I immediately knew it didn't come from the pen of a president or a presidential candidate, but some intellect in the silent background making peanuts and getting no credit.
*****
I wrote notes because I got well high (as anyone should, when watching a presidential debate) - so here they go, not in any particular partisan fashion:
1:55 am - Some talking head mentions that the debate "strips" the candidates of their advisors and their multi-million dollar election machines.
1:57 am- I switch to fair and balanced FOX whose talking heads go on about "mano a mano" and the question on everyone's lips is "what are we looking for?"
2:02 am- "This is it," says Wolf Blitzer from CNN. No one is on stage yet but I wonder who will be the first to enter. As it turns out, after Jim Lehrer's opening ceremonies, Bush comes out first, strident, hand-shaking, a man among men.
(now after here, I lose already the time markers, so I'll just write the comments:)
They show a countdown box to the debate. I am immediately reminded of when some networks had a count down clock before the invasion of Iraq.
I learn that Jim Lehrer is a 9 time vet of this sort of moderating presidential debates.
I start trying to calculate in my head, is that 9 times each election or 9 times over 9 elections - so I think 9 times 4 years in between debates is 36 years and then I start wondering if it's possible that Jim Lehrer has been moderating presidential debates since he was 13.
Who is on the commission of the presidential debates? They have a commission, but they don't mention themselves anywhere.
They ask the crowd to be silent and I wonder how they will manage that in these charged times, but they do, monitor themselves - well perhaps there was a big man with a bludgeon coercing them, but the cameras weren't focusing on that of course, SHHHHHH, just the two people wanting to be president.
Immediately, I recognise Kerry's most read words: "I'll Never..." do this or that.
A person who says never is not being honest.
*****
Fuck, I have these notes written all over the page I wrote on and they're all highlighted and starred and circled, etc because each of it seemed at the time, important. In hindsight, who knows?
*****
One thing is that Lehrer asks great questions - the bit about asking Bush to comment on his "opponent's" character was almost entrapment. But they both came out of that round well, praising one anothers' daughters and kissing each others' arses.
"Our prayers are with...if free nations stop terror..."
Kerry comments, using hot key words, ouch, "outsourcing" military that failed in Tora Bora to kill Osama -
"Plan for victory" - good one, both say it and it means equally nothing.
Kerry with a devastating blow, quotes Bush's own father's book about Iraq and what a mistake invading Iraq would be to take it because of the chaos it would cause resultantly. Ouch.
Bush says we'll love our allies but we'll protect ourselves at home first.
Duh, who the fuck wouldn't - now Kerry is hammering home, protect sure, but HOW? Your way or mine?
Bush's most canned statement: "WE'RE MAKING PROGRESS BUT IT'S HARD WORK"
An empty vessel. I'm wondering to myself, is anyone SEEING this? Bush stuttering around even his favourite clichés, staring off into space, fighting the good fight.
Kerry keeps mentioning 90% of the dead troops in Iraq are American and 90% of the money spent on Iraq is American. There is no coalition. Powerful point.
Suddenly they acknowledge that they're both Elis - oh, please can this be a happy moment in American political history - that both candidates are Yale graduates??!! -- Hoo-Haa! Where are the Ivy League cheerleaders?
Very important distinction we'll all have to make our minds up about:
Kerry says Bush is Certain, but even when you're certain you can be wrong.
Bush's reply is HE has "core values" -
SO there you go Blue -
What is it? Certainty or Core Values?
*****
Nuclear proliferation - I leave this debate realising what a great new talking point it is for everyone. Kerry introduced it and Bush followed, in a reluctant, unprepared sort of way.
Somehow, in the debate of American security, Bush brings back the missile defence thing. Can any of you Bush lovers out there explain the logic of that one?
How many missiles were they on 9/11, I forget...
Both of them close with bible quotes, or mention god or something - mumbo jumbo pandering to those assholes busy fucking up America on the Christian Right and in the South and Midwest of America. Shame on you all.
*****
Worst part is the talking heads aferwards. That they bathe in their partisan responses, that they make their living off it, that they have no integrity, that they prefer to be caracatures rather than intellects.
Shame on them too. Maybe even behead them. :)
Well that's it, the wrap up from American tv I watched in Shakespeare's Country.
A pile of rubbish.
And the more we learn to appreciate the finer palate of rubbish, the more happy we will be to consume it.
There's your presidential elections.
threefour, chachacha
The Staff at Desultory Turgescence wishes you all a happy election.
It's probably sad that the moment I heard that line uttered tonight, I immediately knew it didn't come from the pen of a president or a presidential candidate, but some intellect in the silent background making peanuts and getting no credit.
*****
I wrote notes because I got well high (as anyone should, when watching a presidential debate) - so here they go, not in any particular partisan fashion:
1:55 am - Some talking head mentions that the debate "strips" the candidates of their advisors and their multi-million dollar election machines.
1:57 am- I switch to fair and balanced FOX whose talking heads go on about "mano a mano" and the question on everyone's lips is "what are we looking for?"
2:02 am- "This is it," says Wolf Blitzer from CNN. No one is on stage yet but I wonder who will be the first to enter. As it turns out, after Jim Lehrer's opening ceremonies, Bush comes out first, strident, hand-shaking, a man among men.
(now after here, I lose already the time markers, so I'll just write the comments:)
They show a countdown box to the debate. I am immediately reminded of when some networks had a count down clock before the invasion of Iraq.
I learn that Jim Lehrer is a 9 time vet of this sort of moderating presidential debates.
I start trying to calculate in my head, is that 9 times each election or 9 times over 9 elections - so I think 9 times 4 years in between debates is 36 years and then I start wondering if it's possible that Jim Lehrer has been moderating presidential debates since he was 13.
Who is on the commission of the presidential debates? They have a commission, but they don't mention themselves anywhere.
They ask the crowd to be silent and I wonder how they will manage that in these charged times, but they do, monitor themselves - well perhaps there was a big man with a bludgeon coercing them, but the cameras weren't focusing on that of course, SHHHHHH, just the two people wanting to be president.
Immediately, I recognise Kerry's most read words: "I'll Never..." do this or that.
A person who says never is not being honest.
*****
Fuck, I have these notes written all over the page I wrote on and they're all highlighted and starred and circled, etc because each of it seemed at the time, important. In hindsight, who knows?
*****
One thing is that Lehrer asks great questions - the bit about asking Bush to comment on his "opponent's" character was almost entrapment. But they both came out of that round well, praising one anothers' daughters and kissing each others' arses.
"Our prayers are with...if free nations stop terror..."
Kerry comments, using hot key words, ouch, "outsourcing" military that failed in Tora Bora to kill Osama -
"Plan for victory" - good one, both say it and it means equally nothing.
Kerry with a devastating blow, quotes Bush's own father's book about Iraq and what a mistake invading Iraq would be to take it because of the chaos it would cause resultantly. Ouch.
Bush says we'll love our allies but we'll protect ourselves at home first.
Duh, who the fuck wouldn't - now Kerry is hammering home, protect sure, but HOW? Your way or mine?
Bush's most canned statement: "WE'RE MAKING PROGRESS BUT IT'S HARD WORK"
An empty vessel. I'm wondering to myself, is anyone SEEING this? Bush stuttering around even his favourite clichés, staring off into space, fighting the good fight.
Kerry keeps mentioning 90% of the dead troops in Iraq are American and 90% of the money spent on Iraq is American. There is no coalition. Powerful point.
Suddenly they acknowledge that they're both Elis - oh, please can this be a happy moment in American political history - that both candidates are Yale graduates??!! -- Hoo-Haa! Where are the Ivy League cheerleaders?
Very important distinction we'll all have to make our minds up about:
Kerry says Bush is Certain, but even when you're certain you can be wrong.
Bush's reply is HE has "core values" -
SO there you go Blue -
What is it? Certainty or Core Values?
*****
Nuclear proliferation - I leave this debate realising what a great new talking point it is for everyone. Kerry introduced it and Bush followed, in a reluctant, unprepared sort of way.
Somehow, in the debate of American security, Bush brings back the missile defence thing. Can any of you Bush lovers out there explain the logic of that one?
How many missiles were they on 9/11, I forget...
Both of them close with bible quotes, or mention god or something - mumbo jumbo pandering to those assholes busy fucking up America on the Christian Right and in the South and Midwest of America. Shame on you all.
*****
Worst part is the talking heads aferwards. That they bathe in their partisan responses, that they make their living off it, that they have no integrity, that they prefer to be caracatures rather than intellects.
Shame on them too. Maybe even behead them. :)
Well that's it, the wrap up from American tv I watched in Shakespeare's Country.
A pile of rubbish.
And the more we learn to appreciate the finer palate of rubbish, the more happy we will be to consume it.
There's your presidential elections.
threefour, chachacha
The Staff at Desultory Turgescence wishes you all a happy election.
donderdag, september 30, 2004
American Presidential Debate
A brief advance summary of the text of tonight's presidential debate, exclusively from the staff at Desultory Turgescence:
Presidential Candidate John Kerry: WHY?
President Bush: Because I said so and because if I'm not president, you will all die terrible deaths because of terrorists. Just remember: 9/11 9/11. Be berry berry afraid!
These
are the desolate, dark weeks
when nature in its barrenness
equals the stupidity of man.
The year plunges into night
and the heart plunges
lower than night
to an empty, windswept place
without sun, stars or moon
but a peculiar light as of thought
that spins a dark fire--
whirling upon itself until,
in the cold, it kindles
to make a man aware of nothing
that he knows, not loneliness
itself--Not a ghost but
would be embraced--emptiness,
despair--(They
whine and whistle) among
the flashes and booms of war;
houses of whose rooms
the cold is greater than can be thought,
the people gone that we loved,
the beds lying empty, the couches
damp, the chairs unused--
Hide it away somewhere
out of the mind, let it get roots
and grow, unrelated to jealous
ears and eyes--for itself.
In this mine they come to dig--all.
Is this the counterfoil to sweetest
music? The source of poetry that
seeing the clock stopped, says,
The clock has stopped
that ticked yesterday so well?
and hears the sound of lakewater
splashing--that is now stone.
--William Carlos Williams
fr. *The Collected Earlier Poems*
[New York: New Directions, 1951]
are the desolate, dark weeks
when nature in its barrenness
equals the stupidity of man.
The year plunges into night
and the heart plunges
lower than night
to an empty, windswept place
without sun, stars or moon
but a peculiar light as of thought
that spins a dark fire--
whirling upon itself until,
in the cold, it kindles
to make a man aware of nothing
that he knows, not loneliness
itself--Not a ghost but
would be embraced--emptiness,
despair--(They
whine and whistle) among
the flashes and booms of war;
houses of whose rooms
the cold is greater than can be thought,
the people gone that we loved,
the beds lying empty, the couches
damp, the chairs unused--
Hide it away somewhere
out of the mind, let it get roots
and grow, unrelated to jealous
ears and eyes--for itself.
In this mine they come to dig--all.
Is this the counterfoil to sweetest
music? The source of poetry that
seeing the clock stopped, says,
The clock has stopped
that ticked yesterday so well?
and hears the sound of lakewater
splashing--that is now stone.
--William Carlos Williams
fr. *The Collected Earlier Poems*
[New York: New Directions, 1951]
zaterdag, september 25, 2004
Ch-Ch-Changes
Desultory Turgescence's editorial staff will be taking a break, at the very least, during the course of World Chess Championships taking place. In its absence will be an abundance of interesting chess commentary for all you chess buffs out there. For you lovers of political diatribes and all the lovely colours of anti-Bush rhetoric, well, there is no shortage of blogs out there for you to peruse (just have a look at our links).
So in the interim, is off to finish a book. Have a look at an innovative chess board.
Chess With Apples, via One Good Move.
Desultory Turgescence's editorial staff will be taking a break, at the very least, during the course of World Chess Championships taking place. In its absence will be an abundance of interesting chess commentary for all you chess buffs out there. For you lovers of political diatribes and all the lovely colours of anti-Bush rhetoric, well, there is no shortage of blogs out there for you to peruse (just have a look at our links).
So in the interim, is off to finish a book. Have a look at an innovative chess board.
Chess With Apples, via One Good Move.
vrijdag, september 24, 2004
US Jet Sent 600 Miles To Keep Justin Timberlake Away
American officials diverted a transatlantic flight 600 miles in the belief that the presence of Justin Timberlake, the solo teen pop singer and former member of NSYNC, posed an imminent threat to America's cultural image, it emerged yesterday.
The former boyfriend of teen pop harlot Britney Spears whom officials added they would "hunt down like a dog" if she attempts to return to America, was escorted off the plane by FBI agents after customs officers realised that his name was on a "horrible detriment to American music list". He was due to be deported to the UK last night after questioning. Several members of his entourage were also detained.
Mr Timberlake, who is best known for having dated Ms Spears and for currently dating someone nearly three times his age, Cameron Diaz, had been touring Europe after being asked to leave America, but returned at the announcement of Ms Spears' recent wedding. His name was added to the list subsequently and a US government source said he was refused entry because of fears that he might produce more horrific pop music while in the United States.
"He was placed on the list because of concerns about activities that could potentially be related to terrorism of our ears," said a spokesman for the Department of Homeland Security. It is not clear why officials chose to divert the flight - at substantial cost and delaying other passengers for six hours - rather than detain Mr Timberlake on his arrival in Washington.
Pop stars on both sides of the Atlantic condemned the US decision, with the Crap Music Council of Britain (CMCB) describing it as "a slap in the face of sanity".
Mr Timberlake was denied access to Israel four years ago after claims he had corrupted thousands of teens and nauseated millions of adults, but said he had "never knowingly made any bad music." He sold 500m albums before renouncing music for charity and educational work after converting to Islam.
The Transportation Security Agency (TSA), part of the Department of Homeland Security, is authorised by law to maintain a list of people suspected of "making really horrific pop music that Americans might have to listen to".
But US civil liberties groups have warned that criteria for placing people on the list are hazy. Dozens have complained of being included unfairly.
United Airlines flight 919 from London to Washington was diverted to Bangor, Maine, after customs officers told the TSA Mr Timberlake was on board.
*****
Chop Chop Update
Meanwhile, with the two Americans already gone, all that's left of the original trio of victims is one pleading British citizen and his undecapitated head.
Oh so more heart-wrenching than the sight of innocent Iraqi children blown to tiny little pieces by American bombs, the imminently innocent Kenneth Bigley continued to prove a valuable news item in England by pleading to Tony Blair for his life.
It is difficult to discern which is more ironic, that a war profiteer, living in a posh Baghdad neighborhood whilst the natives sit in their own raw sewage and beg for scraps of food in Sadr City, is pleading for HIS life while hundreds day around him every day, or the fact that he is pleading to Tony Blair for his life.
Hard to say at this point.
But in the meantime, he has guaranteed the British media of keeping viewers riveted to the ongoing saga.
American officials diverted a transatlantic flight 600 miles in the belief that the presence of Justin Timberlake, the solo teen pop singer and former member of NSYNC, posed an imminent threat to America's cultural image, it emerged yesterday.
The former boyfriend of teen pop harlot Britney Spears whom officials added they would "hunt down like a dog" if she attempts to return to America, was escorted off the plane by FBI agents after customs officers realised that his name was on a "horrible detriment to American music list". He was due to be deported to the UK last night after questioning. Several members of his entourage were also detained.
Mr Timberlake, who is best known for having dated Ms Spears and for currently dating someone nearly three times his age, Cameron Diaz, had been touring Europe after being asked to leave America, but returned at the announcement of Ms Spears' recent wedding. His name was added to the list subsequently and a US government source said he was refused entry because of fears that he might produce more horrific pop music while in the United States.
"He was placed on the list because of concerns about activities that could potentially be related to terrorism of our ears," said a spokesman for the Department of Homeland Security. It is not clear why officials chose to divert the flight - at substantial cost and delaying other passengers for six hours - rather than detain Mr Timberlake on his arrival in Washington.
Pop stars on both sides of the Atlantic condemned the US decision, with the Crap Music Council of Britain (CMCB) describing it as "a slap in the face of sanity".
Mr Timberlake was denied access to Israel four years ago after claims he had corrupted thousands of teens and nauseated millions of adults, but said he had "never knowingly made any bad music." He sold 500m albums before renouncing music for charity and educational work after converting to Islam.
The Transportation Security Agency (TSA), part of the Department of Homeland Security, is authorised by law to maintain a list of people suspected of "making really horrific pop music that Americans might have to listen to".
But US civil liberties groups have warned that criteria for placing people on the list are hazy. Dozens have complained of being included unfairly.
United Airlines flight 919 from London to Washington was diverted to Bangor, Maine, after customs officers told the TSA Mr Timberlake was on board.
*****
Chop Chop Update
Meanwhile, with the two Americans already gone, all that's left of the original trio of victims is one pleading British citizen and his undecapitated head.
Oh so more heart-wrenching than the sight of innocent Iraqi children blown to tiny little pieces by American bombs, the imminently innocent Kenneth Bigley continued to prove a valuable news item in England by pleading to Tony Blair for his life.
It is difficult to discern which is more ironic, that a war profiteer, living in a posh Baghdad neighborhood whilst the natives sit in their own raw sewage and beg for scraps of food in Sadr City, is pleading for HIS life while hundreds day around him every day, or the fact that he is pleading to Tony Blair for his life.
Hard to say at this point.
But in the meantime, he has guaranteed the British media of keeping viewers riveted to the ongoing saga.
woensdag, september 22, 2004
CHOP CHOP!
Hey, one down two to go.
Join us please, here at Desultory Turgescence in crying big gator tears for those three poor war profiteers who will have their greedy little heads chopped off.
Oh, woe.
If only they would make it into a game show, I'd really know the value of television!
dinsdag, september 21, 2004
CBS News Apologizes Over Bush Guard Story
"Fair and Balanced, We're Not"
NEW YORK Sept. 21, 2004 — CBS News apologized Monday for a mistake in judgment" in its story questioning President Bush's National Guard service, claiming it's zeal to see the "neofascist dictator" overthrown and his lies exposed, outweighed their journalistic integrity.
The network said that while it could never be as fair and balanced as, let's say Fox News, and confessed to having stooped to new lows in fabricating documents which the Bush Administration had already had destroyed "several years ago" but reminded everyone that news is, after all, "just a matter of perspective".
The story has mushroomed into a major media scandal, threatening the reputations of CBS News and chief anchor Dan Rather who, as we all know, is about as fair and balanced a reporter as they come.
As you recall, Rather is the same Rather who brought us fair and balanced reporting in the past, such as an interview with Saddam Hussein on the brink of the fair and just invasion of Iraq that led of course, to Saddam being deposed, the slaughter of tens of thousands of innocent Iraqi civilians, all for the glory of the impregnable President Jesus Bush. (oh yeah, and the war on terrorism, nudge,nudge) FEAR FEAR! 9/11! 9/11! FEAR FEAR!
It also has become an issue in the presidential campaign. The White House said the affair raises questions about the connections between CBS's source, retired Texas National Guard officer Bill Burkett, terrorists AND Democrat John Kerry's campaign.
Rather joined CBS News President Andrew Heyward in issuing an apology Monday.
"We we got caught, and for that I am sorry," Rather said. "A valient effort was made but we could not bring down the chimpery of the Oval Office with a handful of poorly forged documents. Nevertheless, and in the spirit of trying to carry on a CBS News tradition of investigative reporting without fear or favoritism, we will just let you know instead that we intend on being very fair and balanced reporting in the future."
Almost immediately after the story aired Sept. 8, document experts questioned memos purportedly written by Bush's late squadron leader, Lt. Col. Jerry B. Killian, saying they appeared to have been created on a computer and not on the kind of typewriter in use during the 1970s.
D'oh!
CBS strongly defended its story against all logic. It wasn't until a week later after Killian's former secretary said she believed the memos were fake that the news division admitted they were questionable.
Burkett admitted this weekend to CBS that he lied about obtaining the documents from another former National Guard member, the network said. CBS hasn't been able to conclusively tell how he forged them, or even definitely tell whether they're fakes or not. But the network has given up trying to defend them.
"Based on what we now know, CBS News cannot figure out a way to make inauthentic documents appear authentic, which is the only acceptable journalistic standard to justify using them in the report," Heyward said. "We should have used better and more believable forgeries."
"Fair and Balanced, We're Not"
NEW YORK Sept. 21, 2004 — CBS News apologized Monday for a mistake in judgment" in its story questioning President Bush's National Guard service, claiming it's zeal to see the "neofascist dictator" overthrown and his lies exposed, outweighed their journalistic integrity.
The network said that while it could never be as fair and balanced as, let's say Fox News, and confessed to having stooped to new lows in fabricating documents which the Bush Administration had already had destroyed "several years ago" but reminded everyone that news is, after all, "just a matter of perspective".
The story has mushroomed into a major media scandal, threatening the reputations of CBS News and chief anchor Dan Rather who, as we all know, is about as fair and balanced a reporter as they come.
As you recall, Rather is the same Rather who brought us fair and balanced reporting in the past, such as an interview with Saddam Hussein on the brink of the fair and just invasion of Iraq that led of course, to Saddam being deposed, the slaughter of tens of thousands of innocent Iraqi civilians, all for the glory of the impregnable President Jesus Bush. (oh yeah, and the war on terrorism, nudge,nudge) FEAR FEAR! 9/11! 9/11! FEAR FEAR!
It also has become an issue in the presidential campaign. The White House said the affair raises questions about the connections between CBS's source, retired Texas National Guard officer Bill Burkett, terrorists AND Democrat John Kerry's campaign.
Rather joined CBS News President Andrew Heyward in issuing an apology Monday.
"We we got caught, and for that I am sorry," Rather said. "A valient effort was made but we could not bring down the chimpery of the Oval Office with a handful of poorly forged documents. Nevertheless, and in the spirit of trying to carry on a CBS News tradition of investigative reporting without fear or favoritism, we will just let you know instead that we intend on being very fair and balanced reporting in the future."
Almost immediately after the story aired Sept. 8, document experts questioned memos purportedly written by Bush's late squadron leader, Lt. Col. Jerry B. Killian, saying they appeared to have been created on a computer and not on the kind of typewriter in use during the 1970s.
D'oh!
CBS strongly defended its story against all logic. It wasn't until a week later after Killian's former secretary said she believed the memos were fake that the news division admitted they were questionable.
Burkett admitted this weekend to CBS that he lied about obtaining the documents from another former National Guard member, the network said. CBS hasn't been able to conclusively tell how he forged them, or even definitely tell whether they're fakes or not. But the network has given up trying to defend them.
"Based on what we now know, CBS News cannot figure out a way to make inauthentic documents appear authentic, which is the only acceptable journalistic standard to justify using them in the report," Heyward said. "We should have used better and more believable forgeries."
maandag, september 20, 2004
Hastert Claims al Qaeda Funds Democrats and Kerry
WASHINGTON (APP) -- House Speaker Dennis Hastert said al Qaeda wants John Kerry to win the election. They want him to win so much they've been funding both he and the Democratic Party for over two years. Anything, it is rumoured, to keep that Republican strongman and religious leader, President Bush, from winning the election and destroying terrorism once and for all.
At a campaign rally Saturday in his Illinois district with Vice President Dick Cheney, Hastert said al Qaeda "prays to Allah that John Kerry will win the election, freeing them up to continue their terrorism and destruction campaign agains the world" and has been funding the Democrats and Kerry with billions of dollars from their opium profits to influence the American Presidential election.
When a reporter asked Hastert if he thought al Qaeda would operate with more comfort if Kerry were elected, the speaker said, "That's my opinion, yes. When you say John Kerry, what you really mean is Osama bin Laden"
Democratic National Committee Chairman Terry McAuliffe called Hastert's comments "heartening." saying he himself has struggled with this knowledge ever since he first became aware of it several years ago.
Kerry's running mate, Sen. John Edwards of North Carolina, said Hastert "is a fat Republican pig who is worried that his treasured seat in the Republican Corporate Interest buffet will be relinquished if Kerry wins."
"Let me just say this in the simplest possible terms," Edwards said at a rally in Phoenixville, Pennsylvania. "I am a humble man. I share the pain of you middle and lower class people. I hold the hands of mothers who have ten kids and are unemployed because I care and I hate corporate greed and I will fight to make all the poor people rich and vice versa."
Hastert, who as speaker heads the Republican-controlled House of Representatives, showed no sign of backing off his comments.
His spokesman, John Feehery, said Sunday that the speaker's comments "were consistent with the speaker's belief that John Kerry is merely Osama bin Laden in disguise. That's why we haven't been able to smoke him out of his cave yet"
Neither the Bush campaign nor the White House had any comment on Hastert's remarks, but Bush has accused Kerry of being funded by al Qaeda terrorists on several occasions.
The comments followed a remark by Cheney earlier this month that Americans might be subjected to another terrorist attack if they "vote for Kerry" in November. "We will all die except me and cockroaches, if Kerry gets elected and America as you know it will be left in smoking ruins!" he coughed out.
Cheney, ahem, later said that any president must expect more attacks and that his point had been that he felt Bush was better prepared to deal with the threat.
Some Republicans played down Hastert's comments Sunday. But most of them were only too happy to hear the truth finally spoken with someone brave and patriotic enough like Hastert.
WASHINGTON (APP) -- House Speaker Dennis Hastert said al Qaeda wants John Kerry to win the election. They want him to win so much they've been funding both he and the Democratic Party for over two years. Anything, it is rumoured, to keep that Republican strongman and religious leader, President Bush, from winning the election and destroying terrorism once and for all.
At a campaign rally Saturday in his Illinois district with Vice President Dick Cheney, Hastert said al Qaeda "prays to Allah that John Kerry will win the election, freeing them up to continue their terrorism and destruction campaign agains the world" and has been funding the Democrats and Kerry with billions of dollars from their opium profits to influence the American Presidential election.
When a reporter asked Hastert if he thought al Qaeda would operate with more comfort if Kerry were elected, the speaker said, "That's my opinion, yes. When you say John Kerry, what you really mean is Osama bin Laden"
Democratic National Committee Chairman Terry McAuliffe called Hastert's comments "heartening." saying he himself has struggled with this knowledge ever since he first became aware of it several years ago.
Kerry's running mate, Sen. John Edwards of North Carolina, said Hastert "is a fat Republican pig who is worried that his treasured seat in the Republican Corporate Interest buffet will be relinquished if Kerry wins."
"Let me just say this in the simplest possible terms," Edwards said at a rally in Phoenixville, Pennsylvania. "I am a humble man. I share the pain of you middle and lower class people. I hold the hands of mothers who have ten kids and are unemployed because I care and I hate corporate greed and I will fight to make all the poor people rich and vice versa."
Hastert, who as speaker heads the Republican-controlled House of Representatives, showed no sign of backing off his comments.
His spokesman, John Feehery, said Sunday that the speaker's comments "were consistent with the speaker's belief that John Kerry is merely Osama bin Laden in disguise. That's why we haven't been able to smoke him out of his cave yet"
Neither the Bush campaign nor the White House had any comment on Hastert's remarks, but Bush has accused Kerry of being funded by al Qaeda terrorists on several occasions.
The comments followed a remark by Cheney earlier this month that Americans might be subjected to another terrorist attack if they "vote for Kerry" in November. "We will all die except me and cockroaches, if Kerry gets elected and America as you know it will be left in smoking ruins!" he coughed out.
Cheney, ahem, later said that any president must expect more attacks and that his point had been that he felt Bush was better prepared to deal with the threat.
Some Republicans played down Hastert's comments Sunday. But most of them were only too happy to hear the truth finally spoken with someone brave and patriotic enough like Hastert.
zondag, september 19, 2004
Intelligence Report: We're Screwed
WASHINGTON (AP) -- A highly classified National Intelligence Estimate assembled by some of the government's most senior analysts this summer provided a realistic assessment about the future security and stability of Iraq: We're Screwed.
The National Intelligence Council looked at the political, economic and security situation in the war-torn country and determined -- at best -- both Americans forces and Iraqi civilians, leading the ranks of the dead in Iraq, were screwed and could expect "at least" another decade or two of death, chaos and street anarchy to follow, at least until some newer, more toxic form of fascist dictatorship or Islamic fundamentalist fascism replaced it, a U.S. official said late Wednesday, speaking on the condition of anonymity.
Of course, this didn't stop the Bush Administration from assuming the best and rosiest outlook imagineable: "Iraqis are pleased to be freed from the terror of the Evil Dictator, Saddam Hussein," an anonymous Bush Administration mouthpiece applauded. "Anything is better than the stability of a corrupt dictatorship, even street anarchy, car bombs, civilian slaughter by American helicopter guns, exploitation of one's own oil resources, terrorists, idiot foreign government intervention in your own sovereign government and having the blessings of President Jesus Bush's new form of Chaos Is Peace foreign policy."
The intelligence estimate, which was prepared for President Bush, and promptly rejected by President Bush as "girly man pessimism of a truly great American mission of destruction", considered the window of time between July and the end of 2005. But the official noted that the document, which spans roughly 50 pages, draws on intelligence community assessments from January 2003, before the U.S.-led invasion of Iraq and the subsequent deteriorating security situation there.
The latest assessment was undertaken by the National Intelligence Council, a group of senior intelligence officials who provide long-term strategic thinking for the entire U.S. intelligence community to be dismissed out of hand by Pentagon war mongers and Haliburton representatives.
The estimate contrasts with public comments of Bush and his senior aides who speak more optimistically about the prospects for a peaceful and free Iraq. "We haven't killed every remaining Iraqi yet," Bush reminded from his Texas ranch late last month.
A CIA spokesman declined to comment Wednesday night, and a National Security Council spokesman could not be reached for comment.
The document was first reported by the New York Times on its Web site Wednesday night.
It is the first formal assessment of Iraq since the October 2002 National Intelligence Estimate on the threat posed by fallen Iraqi President Saddam Hussein.
"People who rush to judgement against our Mission From God in Iraq are clearly terrorist sympathisers." Bush scolded. "I mean, what will the troops think if everyone at home is whining about what an abject failure my policies are? Don't you people support our troops? Don't you know that you are only destroying the morale of our troops by questioning my decisions and leadership?"
A new poll released by Time Magazine this weekend reported that 78% of Americans now believe that pollyanish wishful thinking combined with irrational fear is "the best way to govern America".
WASHINGTON (AP) -- A highly classified National Intelligence Estimate assembled by some of the government's most senior analysts this summer provided a realistic assessment about the future security and stability of Iraq: We're Screwed.
The National Intelligence Council looked at the political, economic and security situation in the war-torn country and determined -- at best -- both Americans forces and Iraqi civilians, leading the ranks of the dead in Iraq, were screwed and could expect "at least" another decade or two of death, chaos and street anarchy to follow, at least until some newer, more toxic form of fascist dictatorship or Islamic fundamentalist fascism replaced it, a U.S. official said late Wednesday, speaking on the condition of anonymity.
Of course, this didn't stop the Bush Administration from assuming the best and rosiest outlook imagineable: "Iraqis are pleased to be freed from the terror of the Evil Dictator, Saddam Hussein," an anonymous Bush Administration mouthpiece applauded. "Anything is better than the stability of a corrupt dictatorship, even street anarchy, car bombs, civilian slaughter by American helicopter guns, exploitation of one's own oil resources, terrorists, idiot foreign government intervention in your own sovereign government and having the blessings of President Jesus Bush's new form of Chaos Is Peace foreign policy."
The intelligence estimate, which was prepared for President Bush, and promptly rejected by President Bush as "girly man pessimism of a truly great American mission of destruction", considered the window of time between July and the end of 2005. But the official noted that the document, which spans roughly 50 pages, draws on intelligence community assessments from January 2003, before the U.S.-led invasion of Iraq and the subsequent deteriorating security situation there.
The latest assessment was undertaken by the National Intelligence Council, a group of senior intelligence officials who provide long-term strategic thinking for the entire U.S. intelligence community to be dismissed out of hand by Pentagon war mongers and Haliburton representatives.
The estimate contrasts with public comments of Bush and his senior aides who speak more optimistically about the prospects for a peaceful and free Iraq. "We haven't killed every remaining Iraqi yet," Bush reminded from his Texas ranch late last month.
A CIA spokesman declined to comment Wednesday night, and a National Security Council spokesman could not be reached for comment.
The document was first reported by the New York Times on its Web site Wednesday night.
It is the first formal assessment of Iraq since the October 2002 National Intelligence Estimate on the threat posed by fallen Iraqi President Saddam Hussein.
"People who rush to judgement against our Mission From God in Iraq are clearly terrorist sympathisers." Bush scolded. "I mean, what will the troops think if everyone at home is whining about what an abject failure my policies are? Don't you people support our troops? Don't you know that you are only destroying the morale of our troops by questioning my decisions and leadership?"
A new poll released by Time Magazine this weekend reported that 78% of Americans now believe that pollyanish wishful thinking combined with irrational fear is "the best way to govern America".
zaterdag, september 18, 2004
It's Official: Facial Hair Is The Mark of Evil
Jesus Said To Be Disappointed
As reported in the New York Times, through the clever guise of the clean-shaven CNN political analyst Jeff Greenfield, "We don't necessarily have a lot of confidence in a man with facial hair."
To save you the trouble of deeper hair follicle peering, the NYT also reported on a veritable Who's Who of Evil People With Facial Hair:
"Pancho Villa. A guy with a mustache.
Kaiser Wilhelm II. A guy with pointy mustache.
Hitler. Stupid little mustache.
Emperor Hirohito. Mustache.
Hideki Tojo. Mustache.
Stalin. Big mustache.
Fidel Castro. Big bushy beard.
Che Guevara. Beard.
Ho Chi Minh. Wispy Fu Manchu.
Yasir Arafat. Scraggly beard.
Ayatollah Khomeini. Big long beard.
Osama bin Laden. Long beard.
Saddam Hussein. Bushy mustache."
*****
For those many Desultory Turgescence readers who often confront these profound, daily philosophical conundrums by turning to the guiding question of What Would Jesus Do?, it would appear that Jesus would have grown a beard. And well he did. But look where it got him. The only logical conclusion we can draw from this of course, is that like Osama bin Laden and Saddam Hussein and Fidel Castro, Jesus Is Evil.
Whilst to the casual observer, this doesn't assist Americans with their very difficult decision in deciding who they should vote in as President, Desultory Turgescence's investigative reporters have been provided evidence from anonymous sources that President Bush has now grown a full beard.
We aren't sure if this is a result of the traditional Oval Office rapid aging process, or if President Bush is merely trying to disguise himself so the terrorist hurricanes can't find him, but the evidence here is overwhelming. President Jesus Bush is bearded and therefore, evil.
*****
Get Your War On points out that Not all is lost however:
"If we stopped fighting the War on Terrorism, it would free up more time for all of us to fight the REALLY important war: The Vietnam War"
Jesus Said To Be Disappointed
As reported in the New York Times, through the clever guise of the clean-shaven CNN political analyst Jeff Greenfield, "We don't necessarily have a lot of confidence in a man with facial hair."
To save you the trouble of deeper hair follicle peering, the NYT also reported on a veritable Who's Who of Evil People With Facial Hair:
"Pancho Villa. A guy with a mustache.
Kaiser Wilhelm II. A guy with pointy mustache.
Hitler. Stupid little mustache.
Emperor Hirohito. Mustache.
Hideki Tojo. Mustache.
Stalin. Big mustache.
Fidel Castro. Big bushy beard.
Che Guevara. Beard.
Ho Chi Minh. Wispy Fu Manchu.
Yasir Arafat. Scraggly beard.
Ayatollah Khomeini. Big long beard.
Osama bin Laden. Long beard.
Saddam Hussein. Bushy mustache."
*****
For those many Desultory Turgescence readers who often confront these profound, daily philosophical conundrums by turning to the guiding question of What Would Jesus Do?, it would appear that Jesus would have grown a beard. And well he did. But look where it got him. The only logical conclusion we can draw from this of course, is that like Osama bin Laden and Saddam Hussein and Fidel Castro, Jesus Is Evil.
Whilst to the casual observer, this doesn't assist Americans with their very difficult decision in deciding who they should vote in as President, Desultory Turgescence's investigative reporters have been provided evidence from anonymous sources that President Bush has now grown a full beard.
We aren't sure if this is a result of the traditional Oval Office rapid aging process, or if President Bush is merely trying to disguise himself so the terrorist hurricanes can't find him, but the evidence here is overwhelming. President Jesus Bush is bearded and therefore, evil.
*****
Get Your War On points out that Not all is lost however:
"If we stopped fighting the War on Terrorism, it would free up more time for all of us to fight the REALLY important war: The Vietnam War"
dinsdag, september 14, 2004
Blunkett Dismisses Royal Security Fears
"I can't see anything to fear"
David Blunkett was accused of "blind complacency" yesterday as he played down the security scare provoked by Batman, who scaled the front of Buckingham Palace.
Despite the future of royal security chiefs hanging in the balance over the stunt by Batman, who complained that "crime fighting has become boring and I was just looking for a little excitement", the Home Secretary insisted the situation had been well-handled by police.
Batman, who staged the protest against boredom, and his sidekick, Robin, who allegedly distracted palace guards, were released on police bail by Commissioner Gordon yesterday until December.
Batman was arrested on suspicion of making the Buckingham Palace security detail look like idiots, while Robin was questioned over aiding and abetting a criminal act. There were doubts last night over whether they would be charged over the five-hour protest.
But the recriminations continued yesterday as Sir John Stevens, the Metropolitan Police Commissioner, studied a report into Monday's incident as though the comedy that played out on his tv screen hadn't been sufficient. A copy was passed to the Queen, who is at her Balmoral residence, but reports that she was angry over the break-in were denied by royal sources but confesses that she is a die-hard Batman fan.
Mr Blunkett acknowledged that not all security systems at the palace had "worked perfectly", although he said the cameras and alarms had operated properly, even if the security itself was an abyssmal failure.
He said: "I didn't see anything to fear. Batman and Robin are well-known crime fighters, not terrorists, and I think we should probably do away with palaces and monuments and stop inviting tourists from all over the world because we are so afraid of terrorists we won't let anyone get anywhere near them." Later, speaking at the Police Superintendents' Association conference in Warwickshire, Mr Blunkett said: "I can't see the problem. I can't see anything. But I don't think it helps us deal with the real terrorist threat to worry about Batman making a little publicity stunt because he's bored fighting criminals. Perhaps if he fought terrorism, he would be more excited, like us."
"I'm prepared for heads to roll if the head is of the person responsible for failing to do their duty. But simply to have a head rolling for the sake of a 24-hour headline would not be very clever. It would however, be rather entertaining, and in the interests of television ratings, we may just have heads rolling all over the place pretty soon"
*****
Bush salutes National Guard, "Whoever They Are"
LAS VEGAS (AP) -- President Bush told veterans Tuesday he was proud of the time he allegedly spent as a fictitious member of the Texas Air National Guard and sought to deflect questions about his Vietnam-era service by turning the subject to fear.
"Be very, very afraid. Wherever you are in America, you are at risk from terrible, terrible things happening to you and your family if I am not reelected President. John Kerry is a terrorist. He loves terrorists," Bush told his applauding audience in a speech to the National Guard Association of the United States.
He did not address questions that have been raised about his service three decades ago in the Guard or respond to accusations from Democrats that he used family ties to avoid the Vietnam War.
Kerry, a Vietnam veteran, addresses the same group Thursday and has directed his allies in the national Democratic Party to make an issue of Bush's service as an invisible member of the National Guard.
"Nineteen individuals have served both in the National Guard and as president of the United States," Bush said, "and I think I was one of them. One thing you can be sure of is that no terrorists served in the National Guard!"
The president then outlined the history of America's citizen-soldiers and touted his efforts to improve living and work condition for today's Guard.
Then he turned to Iraq, noting as he does in almost every campaign stop, that Kerry and Democratic running mate John Edwards are cowards and terrorist-lovers who will rejoice in the killing of our fellow Americans if their brand of liberal, girly-man, limp-wristed liberalism is allowed to destroy America.
He said Kerry and Edwards later voted over and over again for terrorism and are cowards who will not stand up and send the children of others to die on their behalf to fight terrorism and to help Haliburton and Vice President Dick Cheney wealthier.
After casting his rival as indecisive, Bush said, "Our troops, our friends and our allies, and our enemies, must know where America stands and that America will stand firm. We cannot waver because our enemies won't. We have to be firm, like a young woman's breasts and not allow flabby indecision or cowardess or love of terrorism to cloud our judgement to kill and kill, over and over again, no matter how long it takes"
It is a major part of Bush's re-election strategy to convince voters, especially those wary of his economic and Iraq policies, that he is the only candidate in the race steady enough to lead the nation at war.
"September 11! September 11! Fear! Run! Scary! Baaaaad terrorists! Kill! Kill! Never change your mind! Kill! September 11! Be very, very scared! Kerry will help the terrorists kill us all! September 11!" Bush said.
"I can't see anything to fear"
David Blunkett was accused of "blind complacency" yesterday as he played down the security scare provoked by Batman, who scaled the front of Buckingham Palace.
Despite the future of royal security chiefs hanging in the balance over the stunt by Batman, who complained that "crime fighting has become boring and I was just looking for a little excitement", the Home Secretary insisted the situation had been well-handled by police.
Batman, who staged the protest against boredom, and his sidekick, Robin, who allegedly distracted palace guards, were released on police bail by Commissioner Gordon yesterday until December.
Batman was arrested on suspicion of making the Buckingham Palace security detail look like idiots, while Robin was questioned over aiding and abetting a criminal act. There were doubts last night over whether they would be charged over the five-hour protest.
But the recriminations continued yesterday as Sir John Stevens, the Metropolitan Police Commissioner, studied a report into Monday's incident as though the comedy that played out on his tv screen hadn't been sufficient. A copy was passed to the Queen, who is at her Balmoral residence, but reports that she was angry over the break-in were denied by royal sources but confesses that she is a die-hard Batman fan.
Mr Blunkett acknowledged that not all security systems at the palace had "worked perfectly", although he said the cameras and alarms had operated properly, even if the security itself was an abyssmal failure.
He said: "I didn't see anything to fear. Batman and Robin are well-known crime fighters, not terrorists, and I think we should probably do away with palaces and monuments and stop inviting tourists from all over the world because we are so afraid of terrorists we won't let anyone get anywhere near them." Later, speaking at the Police Superintendents' Association conference in Warwickshire, Mr Blunkett said: "I can't see the problem. I can't see anything. But I don't think it helps us deal with the real terrorist threat to worry about Batman making a little publicity stunt because he's bored fighting criminals. Perhaps if he fought terrorism, he would be more excited, like us."
"I'm prepared for heads to roll if the head is of the person responsible for failing to do their duty. But simply to have a head rolling for the sake of a 24-hour headline would not be very clever. It would however, be rather entertaining, and in the interests of television ratings, we may just have heads rolling all over the place pretty soon"
*****
Bush salutes National Guard, "Whoever They Are"
LAS VEGAS (AP) -- President Bush told veterans Tuesday he was proud of the time he allegedly spent as a fictitious member of the Texas Air National Guard and sought to deflect questions about his Vietnam-era service by turning the subject to fear.
"Be very, very afraid. Wherever you are in America, you are at risk from terrible, terrible things happening to you and your family if I am not reelected President. John Kerry is a terrorist. He loves terrorists," Bush told his applauding audience in a speech to the National Guard Association of the United States.
He did not address questions that have been raised about his service three decades ago in the Guard or respond to accusations from Democrats that he used family ties to avoid the Vietnam War.
Kerry, a Vietnam veteran, addresses the same group Thursday and has directed his allies in the national Democratic Party to make an issue of Bush's service as an invisible member of the National Guard.
"Nineteen individuals have served both in the National Guard and as president of the United States," Bush said, "and I think I was one of them. One thing you can be sure of is that no terrorists served in the National Guard!"
The president then outlined the history of America's citizen-soldiers and touted his efforts to improve living and work condition for today's Guard.
Then he turned to Iraq, noting as he does in almost every campaign stop, that Kerry and Democratic running mate John Edwards are cowards and terrorist-lovers who will rejoice in the killing of our fellow Americans if their brand of liberal, girly-man, limp-wristed liberalism is allowed to destroy America.
He said Kerry and Edwards later voted over and over again for terrorism and are cowards who will not stand up and send the children of others to die on their behalf to fight terrorism and to help Haliburton and Vice President Dick Cheney wealthier.
After casting his rival as indecisive, Bush said, "Our troops, our friends and our allies, and our enemies, must know where America stands and that America will stand firm. We cannot waver because our enemies won't. We have to be firm, like a young woman's breasts and not allow flabby indecision or cowardess or love of terrorism to cloud our judgement to kill and kill, over and over again, no matter how long it takes"
It is a major part of Bush's re-election strategy to convince voters, especially those wary of his economic and Iraq policies, that he is the only candidate in the race steady enough to lead the nation at war.
"September 11! September 11! Fear! Run! Scary! Baaaaad terrorists! Kill! Kill! Never change your mind! Kill! September 11! Be very, very scared! Kerry will help the terrorists kill us all! September 11!" Bush said.
woensdag, september 08, 2004
(and now, for something completely different...)
Tom Waits
SHORE LEAVE
Well with buck shot eyes and a purple heart
I rolled down the national stroll
and with a big fat paycheck
strapped to my hip sack
and a shore leave wristwatch underneath
my sleeve
in a Hong Kong drizzle on Cuban heels
I rowed down the gutter to the Blood Bank
and I'd left all my papers on the Ticonderoga
and was in a bad need of a shave
and so I slopped at the corner on cold chow mein
and shot billards with a midget
until the rain stopped
and I bought a long sleeved shirt
with horses on the front
and some gum and a lighter and a knife
and a new deck of cards (with girls on the back)
and I sat down and wrote a letter to my wife
and I said Baby, I'm so far away from home
and I miss my Baby so
I can't make it by myself
I love you so
Well I was pacing myself
trying to make it all last
squeezing all the life
out of a lousy two day pass
and I had a cold one at the Dragon
with some Filipino floor show
and talked baseball with a lieutenant
over a Singapore sling
and I wondered how the same moon outside
over this Chinatown fair
could look down on Illinois
and find you there
and you know I love you Baby
and I'm so far away from home
and I miss my Baby so
I can't make it by myself
I love you so
Shore Leave...
Shore Leave...
Tom Waits
SHORE LEAVE
Well with buck shot eyes and a purple heart
I rolled down the national stroll
and with a big fat paycheck
strapped to my hip sack
and a shore leave wristwatch underneath
my sleeve
in a Hong Kong drizzle on Cuban heels
I rowed down the gutter to the Blood Bank
and I'd left all my papers on the Ticonderoga
and was in a bad need of a shave
and so I slopped at the corner on cold chow mein
and shot billards with a midget
until the rain stopped
and I bought a long sleeved shirt
with horses on the front
and some gum and a lighter and a knife
and a new deck of cards (with girls on the back)
and I sat down and wrote a letter to my wife
and I said Baby, I'm so far away from home
and I miss my Baby so
I can't make it by myself
I love you so
Well I was pacing myself
trying to make it all last
squeezing all the life
out of a lousy two day pass
and I had a cold one at the Dragon
with some Filipino floor show
and talked baseball with a lieutenant
over a Singapore sling
and I wondered how the same moon outside
over this Chinatown fair
could look down on Illinois
and find you there
and you know I love you Baby
and I'm so far away from home
and I miss my Baby so
I can't make it by myself
I love you so
Shore Leave...
Shore Leave...
maandag, september 06, 2004
Bush Calls Terrorist Hurricane "Barbaric" and "Cowardly"
Washington, DC - The White House and President Jesus Bush branded the terrorist Hurricane attack of Florida "barbaric", "cowardly" and "despicable", proving yet again his utter mastery of the English language, and additionally said responsibility for lost lives rests with the terrorists who created the Hurricane.
"Our thoughts are with the people of Florida during this difficult time. We extend our deepest condolences to the families of the victims," White House spokesman Scott McClellan said Monday. "There is no justification for the taking of innocent life, and the barbaric nature of this terrorist act is despicable."
McClellan added: "The responsibility for the tragic loss of life rests with the terrorists. The United States stands side-by-side with Florida in our global fight against terrorism."
President Bush was briefed on developments in Florida before a re-election rally in Pennsylvania. He did not talk about the Hurricane terrorism during his speech. But spent several moments to himself looking defiantly into the mirror and pointing his finger at his image threateningly.
"This cowardly act of creating a hurricane to attack Florida shows why America has to remain resolute against terrorism and vote for me instead of that crazy, cowardly, flipflopper Kerry in the presidential election," Bush stated during a brief press conference. "We saw the horror of terror in Florida and I can just imagine the heartfelt anguish of the all the people of Florida," Bush told a forum in Broadview Heights, Ohio.
"That is why this country must be strong and diligent and never yielding. We must bring them to justice, and put an end to bad weather controlled by evil terrorists" he said.
Washington, DC - The White House and President Jesus Bush branded the terrorist Hurricane attack of Florida "barbaric", "cowardly" and "despicable", proving yet again his utter mastery of the English language, and additionally said responsibility for lost lives rests with the terrorists who created the Hurricane.
"Our thoughts are with the people of Florida during this difficult time. We extend our deepest condolences to the families of the victims," White House spokesman Scott McClellan said Monday. "There is no justification for the taking of innocent life, and the barbaric nature of this terrorist act is despicable."
McClellan added: "The responsibility for the tragic loss of life rests with the terrorists. The United States stands side-by-side with Florida in our global fight against terrorism."
President Bush was briefed on developments in Florida before a re-election rally in Pennsylvania. He did not talk about the Hurricane terrorism during his speech. But spent several moments to himself looking defiantly into the mirror and pointing his finger at his image threateningly.
"This cowardly act of creating a hurricane to attack Florida shows why America has to remain resolute against terrorism and vote for me instead of that crazy, cowardly, flipflopper Kerry in the presidential election," Bush stated during a brief press conference. "We saw the horror of terror in Florida and I can just imagine the heartfelt anguish of the all the people of Florida," Bush told a forum in Broadview Heights, Ohio.
"That is why this country must be strong and diligent and never yielding. We must bring them to justice, and put an end to bad weather controlled by evil terrorists" he said.
vrijdag, september 03, 2004
Bush:"Nothing Can Save Us But Me"
President Accepts Nomination
NEW YORK, Sept. 2 -- President Jesus Bush accepted the Republican nomination for a second term Thursday night with a lofty speech casting his reelection as crucial to the spread of the killing and destruction of girlie men and terrorists across the world and to the ensure Americans at home remain clouded by fear and terror of fear so that they do not bother examining the lethal combination of deception and distortion practiced by his ruling party.
In an address that cast concern over the dearth of domestic policy proposals as just another tool of terrorism, Bush delivered an wooden yet emotional appeal of faux sincerity and concern that has been the hallmark of his tunnel-vision Administration. Killing and war profits are the only way to keep America safe and he reminded Americans last night that he should be viewed as the leader best suited to keep the nation well-grounded in fear, allowing people like Vice President Dick Cheney to continue to reap the benefits of terrorising America so that it bends to his iron-hearted will.
The president proposed a simplification of the federal tax code (y'all pay and we don't) and renewed his call for a revamped Social Security program (y'all get nothin' and we get the rest) and a host of smaller initiatives ranging from medical savings accounts that can later be filched by the federal government to more testing of high-school seniors to make sure they aren't terrorists. But he devoted the bulk of his speech, and his rhetorical flourishes, to the national security message that forms the core of his candidacy.
"Be scared, my fellow Americans. The turrists are out to get us and nothing can save you from them but me."
President Bush Thursday night accepted his party's renomination and unveiled his agenda for a second term that would include ambitious domestic initiatives (spy on your parents, hate your enemies and do not tolerate girlie men) and a commitment to do "whatever it takes" to safeguard America against terrorism and to ensure Vice President Cheney's lifelong commitment to himself never wanes. In other words: Terrorism, terrorism, terrorism. Because it works.
"This moment in the life of our country will be remembered," he told the delegates from a podium at the center of Madison Square Garden. "Generations will know if we kept our faith in Jesus Christ, our only saviour and the only son of God, and kept our word to kill as many non-believers as humanly possible. Generations will know if we seized this moment and used it to build a future of terror and destruction unmatched even by those cowardly terrorists and Democrats. The freedom of many, and the future security of our nation, now depend on how many of the enemy we can kill."
The speech began and ended with references to the Sept. 11, 2001, attacks on this city, and the response to terrorism was woven through the 5,000-word address, the majority of which, due to there being nothing else worth talking about apparently, was devoted to national security. After all, what better way to keep Americans in the darkness of fear than to constantly remind them of some tragic event that happened almost three years ago as though it happened every day of their lives? "In the heart of this great city, we saw tragedy arrive on a quiet morning," Bush said, as though reading a children's story to a class of second graders at the beginning of the address. Toward the end, he added: "My fellow Americans, for as long as our country stands, people will look to the resurrection of New York City and they will say: Here buildings fell, and here a nation rose. Two three, chachacha, and only we Republicans were smart enough to know how to exploit that fact"
Bush's prime-time speech wrapped up a four-day convention characterized by repeated praise of his terrorism-fighting credentials which include moments like personally killing Saddam Hussein and Osama bin Laden with his bare hands, bitter criticism of Democratic challenger John F. Kerry's character and policies because he isn't as single-minded and as focused as the president and terrorism, blablabla, terrorism, blablabla, terrorism.
Though protests against President Jesus Bush were generally calm, arrests exceeded 1,700 for the week -- nearly triple the number from the violent 1968 Democratic National Convention in Chicago. A judge ruled Thursday that the police illegally held hundreds of anti-Bush demonstrators without charges or access to lawyers for more than 40 hours.
But hey, this is a war on terrorism and anything goes in the name of saving America from terrorists and Democrats all in the name of Jesus Christ.
President Accepts Nomination
NEW YORK, Sept. 2 -- President Jesus Bush accepted the Republican nomination for a second term Thursday night with a lofty speech casting his reelection as crucial to the spread of the killing and destruction of girlie men and terrorists across the world and to the ensure Americans at home remain clouded by fear and terror of fear so that they do not bother examining the lethal combination of deception and distortion practiced by his ruling party.
In an address that cast concern over the dearth of domestic policy proposals as just another tool of terrorism, Bush delivered an wooden yet emotional appeal of faux sincerity and concern that has been the hallmark of his tunnel-vision Administration. Killing and war profits are the only way to keep America safe and he reminded Americans last night that he should be viewed as the leader best suited to keep the nation well-grounded in fear, allowing people like Vice President Dick Cheney to continue to reap the benefits of terrorising America so that it bends to his iron-hearted will.
The president proposed a simplification of the federal tax code (y'all pay and we don't) and renewed his call for a revamped Social Security program (y'all get nothin' and we get the rest) and a host of smaller initiatives ranging from medical savings accounts that can later be filched by the federal government to more testing of high-school seniors to make sure they aren't terrorists. But he devoted the bulk of his speech, and his rhetorical flourishes, to the national security message that forms the core of his candidacy.
"Be scared, my fellow Americans. The turrists are out to get us and nothing can save you from them but me."
President Bush Thursday night accepted his party's renomination and unveiled his agenda for a second term that would include ambitious domestic initiatives (spy on your parents, hate your enemies and do not tolerate girlie men) and a commitment to do "whatever it takes" to safeguard America against terrorism and to ensure Vice President Cheney's lifelong commitment to himself never wanes. In other words: Terrorism, terrorism, terrorism. Because it works.
"This moment in the life of our country will be remembered," he told the delegates from a podium at the center of Madison Square Garden. "Generations will know if we kept our faith in Jesus Christ, our only saviour and the only son of God, and kept our word to kill as many non-believers as humanly possible. Generations will know if we seized this moment and used it to build a future of terror and destruction unmatched even by those cowardly terrorists and Democrats. The freedom of many, and the future security of our nation, now depend on how many of the enemy we can kill."
The speech began and ended with references to the Sept. 11, 2001, attacks on this city, and the response to terrorism was woven through the 5,000-word address, the majority of which, due to there being nothing else worth talking about apparently, was devoted to national security. After all, what better way to keep Americans in the darkness of fear than to constantly remind them of some tragic event that happened almost three years ago as though it happened every day of their lives? "In the heart of this great city, we saw tragedy arrive on a quiet morning," Bush said, as though reading a children's story to a class of second graders at the beginning of the address. Toward the end, he added: "My fellow Americans, for as long as our country stands, people will look to the resurrection of New York City and they will say: Here buildings fell, and here a nation rose. Two three, chachacha, and only we Republicans were smart enough to know how to exploit that fact"
Bush's prime-time speech wrapped up a four-day convention characterized by repeated praise of his terrorism-fighting credentials which include moments like personally killing Saddam Hussein and Osama bin Laden with his bare hands, bitter criticism of Democratic challenger John F. Kerry's character and policies because he isn't as single-minded and as focused as the president and terrorism, blablabla, terrorism, blablabla, terrorism.
Though protests against President Jesus Bush were generally calm, arrests exceeded 1,700 for the week -- nearly triple the number from the violent 1968 Democratic National Convention in Chicago. A judge ruled Thursday that the police illegally held hundreds of anti-Bush demonstrators without charges or access to lawyers for more than 40 hours.
But hey, this is a war on terrorism and anything goes in the name of saving America from terrorists and Democrats all in the name of Jesus Christ.
donderdag, september 02, 2004
CHENEY AND GOP MOUNT VIGOROUS ASSAULT ON KERRY
"We Need More Blood And Oil"
Declaring that the nation's fundamental source of blood and oil was at stake in the presidential election, Vice President Dick Cheney said yesterday that Senator John Kerry did not "love the shedding of blood nor the gushing of oil enough" and failed to appreciate the urgency with which "bloodsucking leeches and war profiteers like myself" need the constant threat of terror and fear to keep the flow of blood and oil coming.
Mr. Cheney's remarks were part of a vigorous assault that he and his party mounted on Mr. Kerry's domestic and foreign policy credentials, coupled with a spirited defense of President Bush's ability to destroy both the American and Iraqi economy simultaneously, as the Republicans gathered for the third night of their nominating convention in New York.
"He talks about loving killing and helping Haliburton reap massive war profits, as though we will be impressed with his harder side," Mr. Cheney said of Mr. Kerry, speaking in a somber tone to a crowd that interrupted him with nonsequetorious shouts of "U.S.A." - "Blood For Oil" as he recalled the terrorist attacks of Sept. 11 and how much Haliburton has profited from them.
"He declared at the Democratic Convention that he will forcefully defend Haliburton and my interests in Haliburton -- after we have been attacked," Mr. Cheney continued. "My fellow Americans, we have already been attacked, and faced with the growing possibility that there will not be enough Iraqis to kill or enough oil to keep our mechanical hearts beating, we cannot wait for the next attack. We must continue killing and continue reaping huge war profits for Haliburton or they will cut off my pacemaker!"
Mr. Cheney led a parade of Republicans - and one Democrat - in an orchestrated evening intended to undercut Mr. Kerry's commander-in-chief credentials while also trying to seize the ground on economic issues. The speakers stood in front of a banner that read "Land of Opportunity For Dick Cheney And Haliburton And The Rest of You Can Have The Crumbs" as they attributed the economic difficulties of the past four years to "girly man Democrats, gay marriage and not enough killing to satisfy the Board of Haliburton. They asserted that the economy of Haliburton was on the rise again but would easily be destroyed again if a "pacifist faery like Kerry" were elected.
The party formally nominated Mr. Bush to run for a second term at 8:09 p.m.
Mr. Kerry's running-mate, Senator John Edwards of North Carolina, issued a statement shortly after the Republicans adjourned, saying: "There was a lot of hate coming from that podium tonight. What John Kerry and I offer to the American people is hope because goddamn it, I can weave heart warming tales of downtrodden, lower middle class families like nobody's business."
Republicans enlisted the Democrat who delivered the keynote address at the 1992 Democratic convention that nominated Bill Clinton, Senator Zell Miller of Georgia, to offer the keynote for the Republicans, which amounted to a memorably brutal attack on Mr. Kerry and the Democratic Party. Mr. Miller, a Southern conservative who has grown increasingly alienated from his party because they have not expressed a vigorous enough love of Haliburton's profits and killing foreigners, said Democrats had placed partisan politics over national security during this time of war and portrayed Mr. Kerry as a "girly-man," self-indulgent and indecisive.
"For more than 20 years, on every one of the great issues of freedom and security, John Kerry has been more wrong, more weak and more wobbly than any other national figure," Mr. Miller said, adding: "George Bush loves killing more than anyone and wants to grab terrorists by the throat and slash their throats and let Dick Cheney drink their blood. From John Kerry, they get a 'yes-no-maybe' bowl of mush that can only encourage our enemies and confuse our friends."
"We Need More Blood And Oil"
Declaring that the nation's fundamental source of blood and oil was at stake in the presidential election, Vice President Dick Cheney said yesterday that Senator John Kerry did not "love the shedding of blood nor the gushing of oil enough" and failed to appreciate the urgency with which "bloodsucking leeches and war profiteers like myself" need the constant threat of terror and fear to keep the flow of blood and oil coming.
Mr. Cheney's remarks were part of a vigorous assault that he and his party mounted on Mr. Kerry's domestic and foreign policy credentials, coupled with a spirited defense of President Bush's ability to destroy both the American and Iraqi economy simultaneously, as the Republicans gathered for the third night of their nominating convention in New York.
"He talks about loving killing and helping Haliburton reap massive war profits, as though we will be impressed with his harder side," Mr. Cheney said of Mr. Kerry, speaking in a somber tone to a crowd that interrupted him with nonsequetorious shouts of "U.S.A." - "Blood For Oil" as he recalled the terrorist attacks of Sept. 11 and how much Haliburton has profited from them.
"He declared at the Democratic Convention that he will forcefully defend Haliburton and my interests in Haliburton -- after we have been attacked," Mr. Cheney continued. "My fellow Americans, we have already been attacked, and faced with the growing possibility that there will not be enough Iraqis to kill or enough oil to keep our mechanical hearts beating, we cannot wait for the next attack. We must continue killing and continue reaping huge war profits for Haliburton or they will cut off my pacemaker!"
Mr. Cheney led a parade of Republicans - and one Democrat - in an orchestrated evening intended to undercut Mr. Kerry's commander-in-chief credentials while also trying to seize the ground on economic issues. The speakers stood in front of a banner that read "Land of Opportunity For Dick Cheney And Haliburton And The Rest of You Can Have The Crumbs" as they attributed the economic difficulties of the past four years to "girly man Democrats, gay marriage and not enough killing to satisfy the Board of Haliburton. They asserted that the economy of Haliburton was on the rise again but would easily be destroyed again if a "pacifist faery like Kerry" were elected.
The party formally nominated Mr. Bush to run for a second term at 8:09 p.m.
Mr. Kerry's running-mate, Senator John Edwards of North Carolina, issued a statement shortly after the Republicans adjourned, saying: "There was a lot of hate coming from that podium tonight. What John Kerry and I offer to the American people is hope because goddamn it, I can weave heart warming tales of downtrodden, lower middle class families like nobody's business."
Republicans enlisted the Democrat who delivered the keynote address at the 1992 Democratic convention that nominated Bill Clinton, Senator Zell Miller of Georgia, to offer the keynote for the Republicans, which amounted to a memorably brutal attack on Mr. Kerry and the Democratic Party. Mr. Miller, a Southern conservative who has grown increasingly alienated from his party because they have not expressed a vigorous enough love of Haliburton's profits and killing foreigners, said Democrats had placed partisan politics over national security during this time of war and portrayed Mr. Kerry as a "girly-man," self-indulgent and indecisive.
"For more than 20 years, on every one of the great issues of freedom and security, John Kerry has been more wrong, more weak and more wobbly than any other national figure," Mr. Miller said, adding: "George Bush loves killing more than anyone and wants to grab terrorists by the throat and slash their throats and let Dick Cheney drink their blood. From John Kerry, they get a 'yes-no-maybe' bowl of mush that can only encourage our enemies and confuse our friends."
woensdag, september 01, 2004
BUSH BACKTRACKS ON TERRORISM REMARK?!
Say It Ain't So Kids! President Bush Flip Flops Like A Fish On A Hook?!
NASHVILLE, Aug. 31 -- President Jesus Bush rushed Tuesday to flip flop about his bold and great leader-like assertion that the war on terrorism cannot be won, as his campaign sought to limit the damage from a statement that despite all the rahrah from the convention, shows the commander in chief as defeatist.
"Make no mistake about it: We are winning and we will win," Bush told the 86th annual convention of the American Legion as he continued his journey toward the Republican National Convention for his acceptance speech Thursday night, "Unless of course, we don't win the war because it isn't winnable and even if it were, I'm only making things worse, not better, almost ensuring inevitable defeat." He said that "in this different kind of war, this funny kind of non-existent weapons of mass destruction fake war, we may never sit down at a peace table because frankly, we don't want peace. Peace is our enemy. Fear is our greatest ally."
"We will win by making grandiose statements about how tough we are and how tough we are on terrorism while we continue killing innocent Iraqi civilians at a record-shattering pace," he told the nation's largest veterans organization.
In tone and substance, the remarks differed sharply from the more contemplative words he offered in an interview aired by NBC's "Today" show Monday. Asked about "this war on terror" during that interview, Bush said: "I don't think you can win it. But I think you can create conditions so that those who use terror as a tool are less acceptable in parts of the world. Let's put it that way."
Or as it turns out, let's NOT put it that way since it seems to run in direct contradiction to all those nice, flowery, heroic things being said about me in New York, he is believed to have added.
The statement Monday is a flip flop of his own assertions about having a plan to defeat terrorism, and ran counter to his campaign's strategy of portraying the president as optimistic and resolute. It invited an immediate attack from Democrats, who have been on the defensive in recent weeks over attacks on presidential nominee John F. Kerry's Vietnam War record and position on Iraq.
Kerry's campaign gleefully responded to Bush's American Legion speech Tuesday with a news release headlined, "Bush Flip-Flops on Winning the War on Terror," then tried to top that a few moments later with another echo of a Republican attack on the Massachusetts senator, "Bush: Against Winning the War on Terror Before He Was for It."
It was revealed earlier this afternoon by an undisclosed White House source that the War On Terror is actually being waged to terrorise the American public. "With fear-mongering and the threat of terror hanging in the air like an ominous cloud, what really, besides homophobia and tax cuts for the rich, does the Bush Administration have going for it?" the source asked rhetorically.
Say It Ain't So Kids! President Bush Flip Flops Like A Fish On A Hook?!
NASHVILLE, Aug. 31 -- President Jesus Bush rushed Tuesday to flip flop about his bold and great leader-like assertion that the war on terrorism cannot be won, as his campaign sought to limit the damage from a statement that despite all the rahrah from the convention, shows the commander in chief as defeatist.
"Make no mistake about it: We are winning and we will win," Bush told the 86th annual convention of the American Legion as he continued his journey toward the Republican National Convention for his acceptance speech Thursday night, "Unless of course, we don't win the war because it isn't winnable and even if it were, I'm only making things worse, not better, almost ensuring inevitable defeat." He said that "in this different kind of war, this funny kind of non-existent weapons of mass destruction fake war, we may never sit down at a peace table because frankly, we don't want peace. Peace is our enemy. Fear is our greatest ally."
"We will win by making grandiose statements about how tough we are and how tough we are on terrorism while we continue killing innocent Iraqi civilians at a record-shattering pace," he told the nation's largest veterans organization.
In tone and substance, the remarks differed sharply from the more contemplative words he offered in an interview aired by NBC's "Today" show Monday. Asked about "this war on terror" during that interview, Bush said: "I don't think you can win it. But I think you can create conditions so that those who use terror as a tool are less acceptable in parts of the world. Let's put it that way."
Or as it turns out, let's NOT put it that way since it seems to run in direct contradiction to all those nice, flowery, heroic things being said about me in New York, he is believed to have added.
The statement Monday is a flip flop of his own assertions about having a plan to defeat terrorism, and ran counter to his campaign's strategy of portraying the president as optimistic and resolute. It invited an immediate attack from Democrats, who have been on the defensive in recent weeks over attacks on presidential nominee John F. Kerry's Vietnam War record and position on Iraq.
Kerry's campaign gleefully responded to Bush's American Legion speech Tuesday with a news release headlined, "Bush Flip-Flops on Winning the War on Terror," then tried to top that a few moments later with another echo of a Republican attack on the Massachusetts senator, "Bush: Against Winning the War on Terror Before He Was for It."
It was revealed earlier this afternoon by an undisclosed White House source that the War On Terror is actually being waged to terrorise the American public. "With fear-mongering and the threat of terror hanging in the air like an ominous cloud, what really, besides homophobia and tax cuts for the rich, does the Bush Administration have going for it?" the source asked rhetorically.
dinsdag, augustus 31, 2004
Republican Convention Kicks Off The President Jesus Bush Hero Train
"No Bigger Hero In The History of Human Kind"
Judging by the spirited addresses by Senator John McCain and former Mayor of NYC, Rudy Giuliani, if it wasn't for the bravery, courage, heroism and the steady-handed and single-minded course of stupidity and misjudgement guided by President Jesus Bush since the attacks of September 11, there might not even BE an America to vote for the President in 2004. It would all be in a smoldering ruin of death and destruction. Lucky for us, President Jesus Bush was around to save the day for all humanity against the triumph of evil and the villanry of terrorism.
In his speech, Mr. Giuliani invoked images of the Sept. 11 terror attacks in a way that few political figures would dare to unless they too were using the tragedy of others in a crass and blatant political ploy. He laced his address with personal experiences, like when he saw a body plummet from the World Trade Center, stopping just short of suggesting that President Jesus Bush was almost able to reach down from the heavens and save even those leaping to their deaths from 111 stories high.
Mr. Giuliani applauded the president's decision to invade Iraq, saying that Saddam Hussein was himself a "weapon of mass destruction," ending of course, any need to actually FIND any weapons of mass destruction which were allegedly the cause for a preemptive invasion of Iraq in the first place. He emphasized the themes of leadership and compassion, and he compared the president to the wartime British prime minister, Winston Churchill, and the last American president of the cold war, Ronald Reagan. When it came to heroes, there wasn't anyone Mr. Giuliani wouldn't compare President Jesus Bush with. "If I didn't already believe Superman were just a cartoon character, I'd believe that Superman was President Jesus Bush and if there WERE a Superman to save all of humanity, well, he must be President Jesus Bush!"
In his remarks, he recalled how President Bush "stood amid the fallen towers and said to the barbaric terrorists who attacked us, 'They will hear from us.' " Not only did they hear from the President, but so did tens of thousands of innocent and dead Iraqi civilians, killed, unfortunately, as collateral damage in the effort to save them from a cruel and evil dictator (Saddam Hussein, that is.)
Leading up to Mr. Giuliani's effusive speech of praise and child-like awe of President Bush was former rival and Vietnam vet, Senator John McCain.
"I knew my confidence was well placed when I watched him stand on the rubble of the World Trade Centre with his arm around a hero of September 11th, and in our moment of mourning and anger, strength in our unity and our resolve by promising to right this terrible wrong." McCain said, straight-shooter that he is. "And even more courageous than even the heroes of September 11th was the reaction of President Bush. Instead of letting other heroes of the American military die FOR him in an ill-thought out invasion of a sovereign nation under false pretexts, our hero President Bush led the charge, like a true hero, single-handedly defeated Saddam Hussein by himself, killing him like the vermin he is without anyone else's help and basically, saved the world from eternal evil and damnation for ever and ever because gosh darn it, there isn't a bigger hero in the world than President Jesus Bush. Not even his own father was brave enough nor strong enough to rid the world of Saddam Hussein and look at what our president did! Oh my! What a courageous man! What a leader!"
Just following the opening night of the convention, a Washington Post-ABC Poll released today showed that more than 90% of Americans think George Bush is the greatest hero in the history of humanity and would give their only children in his name because he is the greatest human being in the history of the world and NO ONE is ever going to be a better president than he has been.
Another 90% believed that John Kerry was Satan's spawn and if he is allowed to be president, it would be like "given the White House to terrorists".
"No Bigger Hero In The History of Human Kind"
Judging by the spirited addresses by Senator John McCain and former Mayor of NYC, Rudy Giuliani, if it wasn't for the bravery, courage, heroism and the steady-handed and single-minded course of stupidity and misjudgement guided by President Jesus Bush since the attacks of September 11, there might not even BE an America to vote for the President in 2004. It would all be in a smoldering ruin of death and destruction. Lucky for us, President Jesus Bush was around to save the day for all humanity against the triumph of evil and the villanry of terrorism.
In his speech, Mr. Giuliani invoked images of the Sept. 11 terror attacks in a way that few political figures would dare to unless they too were using the tragedy of others in a crass and blatant political ploy. He laced his address with personal experiences, like when he saw a body plummet from the World Trade Center, stopping just short of suggesting that President Jesus Bush was almost able to reach down from the heavens and save even those leaping to their deaths from 111 stories high.
Mr. Giuliani applauded the president's decision to invade Iraq, saying that Saddam Hussein was himself a "weapon of mass destruction," ending of course, any need to actually FIND any weapons of mass destruction which were allegedly the cause for a preemptive invasion of Iraq in the first place. He emphasized the themes of leadership and compassion, and he compared the president to the wartime British prime minister, Winston Churchill, and the last American president of the cold war, Ronald Reagan. When it came to heroes, there wasn't anyone Mr. Giuliani wouldn't compare President Jesus Bush with. "If I didn't already believe Superman were just a cartoon character, I'd believe that Superman was President Jesus Bush and if there WERE a Superman to save all of humanity, well, he must be President Jesus Bush!"
In his remarks, he recalled how President Bush "stood amid the fallen towers and said to the barbaric terrorists who attacked us, 'They will hear from us.' " Not only did they hear from the President, but so did tens of thousands of innocent and dead Iraqi civilians, killed, unfortunately, as collateral damage in the effort to save them from a cruel and evil dictator (Saddam Hussein, that is.)
Leading up to Mr. Giuliani's effusive speech of praise and child-like awe of President Bush was former rival and Vietnam vet, Senator John McCain.
"I knew my confidence was well placed when I watched him stand on the rubble of the World Trade Centre with his arm around a hero of September 11th, and in our moment of mourning and anger, strength in our unity and our resolve by promising to right this terrible wrong." McCain said, straight-shooter that he is. "And even more courageous than even the heroes of September 11th was the reaction of President Bush. Instead of letting other heroes of the American military die FOR him in an ill-thought out invasion of a sovereign nation under false pretexts, our hero President Bush led the charge, like a true hero, single-handedly defeated Saddam Hussein by himself, killing him like the vermin he is without anyone else's help and basically, saved the world from eternal evil and damnation for ever and ever because gosh darn it, there isn't a bigger hero in the world than President Jesus Bush. Not even his own father was brave enough nor strong enough to rid the world of Saddam Hussein and look at what our president did! Oh my! What a courageous man! What a leader!"
Just following the opening night of the convention, a Washington Post-ABC Poll released today showed that more than 90% of Americans think George Bush is the greatest hero in the history of humanity and would give their only children in his name because he is the greatest human being in the history of the world and NO ONE is ever going to be a better president than he has been.
Another 90% believed that John Kerry was Satan's spawn and if he is allowed to be president, it would be like "given the White House to terrorists".
donderdag, augustus 26, 2004
When God Made America
She gave her horns to bleet the blues,
she gave her breasts on each coast
she gave her a cock out of Maine
and a tail that prayed to Mexico.
She gave her colour, to even out
the plains, the same way
she distinctly chose the vein
to shoot the highway down.
She gave her history on blank pages
and crayon people outside the lines
to create decades
that settle sentences like punctuation.
She gave cock to doodle-do
and asked nothing in return,
spurned the advances
of lesser lovers
for just a chance,
over and over again.
She sang hosannas, tinkled
the keys, jitterbugged and
flailed her legs, all in the episode
for you and me.
She brought us together, one
atop another, or juxtaposed,
one supposes, just for us
to have the chance to be indifferent.
She dug her fingers in her hair
and made the window panes rattle and peel.
And then
she stopped, and breathed.
Bush Sucks Cock Or Kerry?
I read an article in the London Times this afternoon which touched upon
Kerry's argument about who he killed in Vietnam (in defence, one
supposes against the Patrol Boat for Truth freaks) and couldn't help but
wonder at how pathetic the American political scene is. I wanted to
wonder why Vietnam is still an issue so long future but of course
remembered only a week or so ago watching his montage at the Democrat
convention, knowing that he provoked it himself.
From the outside now, I wonder what Americans care about in electing
their future or standing president. As I've probably noted herein
before, it deeply disturbs me that both parties feel compelled to pander
to religious conservatives (or, let's say Midwest people who think a
belief in god has anything to do with how the country is governed) but
that notwithstanding, what the fuck do YOU Americans care about for your
future president?
I haven't heard anything from the opposition other than platitudes like
"I'll fix the economy" (and his little solar plexus meowmeowmeow) and
that Kerry could garner more support from "allies" so not as many
Americans die in Iraq (just some interchangeable sort of foreign troops
instead) -- as though anyone, even a republican like Dole, could garner
more respect from the outside than Bush's policies have...)
Kerry and Edwards don't really strike me as an enormous change from the
kind of corporate toxins that have infilterated every aspect of world
culture. Oh yeah, well, they'll be a wot, kinder, gentler form of
corporate hegomony but in the end, it is, after all, the same old
bullshit antithesis of Chekov's maxim on freedom (freedom from violence,
freedom from lies) but at the end of the day, when or if America has rid
itself of Bush, what does it have in Kerry to be happy about?
And probably those dissatisfied with poltical rants expecting poetics
(the young man's vice) will have already departed these lines, but if
they haven't, a morsel of poetry, for the young men (or women, depending
on the degree of political correction):
shamelessly cut and pasted from what I like:
Emily Dickinson (1830–86). Complete Poems. 1924.
Part Three: Love
I
MINE by the right of the white election!
Mine by the royal seal!
Mine by the sign in the scarlet prison
Bars cannot conceal!
Mine, here in vision and in veto! 5
Mine, by the grave’s repeal
Titled, confirmed,—delirious charter!
Mine, while the ages steal!
I read an article in the London Times this afternoon which touched upon
Kerry's argument about who he killed in Vietnam (in defence, one
supposes against the Patrol Boat for Truth freaks) and couldn't help but
wonder at how pathetic the American political scene is. I wanted to
wonder why Vietnam is still an issue so long future but of course
remembered only a week or so ago watching his montage at the Democrat
convention, knowing that he provoked it himself.
From the outside now, I wonder what Americans care about in electing
their future or standing president. As I've probably noted herein
before, it deeply disturbs me that both parties feel compelled to pander
to religious conservatives (or, let's say Midwest people who think a
belief in god has anything to do with how the country is governed) but
that notwithstanding, what the fuck do YOU Americans care about for your
future president?
I haven't heard anything from the opposition other than platitudes like
"I'll fix the economy" (and his little solar plexus meowmeowmeow) and
that Kerry could garner more support from "allies" so not as many
Americans die in Iraq (just some interchangeable sort of foreign troops
instead) -- as though anyone, even a republican like Dole, could garner
more respect from the outside than Bush's policies have...)
Kerry and Edwards don't really strike me as an enormous change from the
kind of corporate toxins that have infilterated every aspect of world
culture. Oh yeah, well, they'll be a wot, kinder, gentler form of
corporate hegomony but in the end, it is, after all, the same old
bullshit antithesis of Chekov's maxim on freedom (freedom from violence,
freedom from lies) but at the end of the day, when or if America has rid
itself of Bush, what does it have in Kerry to be happy about?
And probably those dissatisfied with poltical rants expecting poetics
(the young man's vice) will have already departed these lines, but if
they haven't, a morsel of poetry, for the young men (or women, depending
on the degree of political correction):
shamelessly cut and pasted from what I like:
Emily Dickinson (1830–86). Complete Poems. 1924.
Part Three: Love
I
MINE by the right of the white election!
Mine by the royal seal!
Mine by the sign in the scarlet prison
Bars cannot conceal!
Mine, here in vision and in veto! 5
Mine, by the grave’s repeal
Titled, confirmed,—delirious charter!
Mine, while the ages steal!
woensdag, augustus 25, 2004
Kerry's Service in Vietnam Faulted in Prison Abuse
WASHINGTON - John Kerry's service history in Vietnam and dodgy purple heart awards contributed to an environment in which prisoners were abused at Abu Ghraib prison, according to a report released on Tuesday by high-level panel investigating the military detentions.
The outside four-member panel headed by former Defense Secretary James Schlesinger found that back in the 60s, Kerry failed to exercise proper oversight over confusing detention policies in Vietnam which directly led to the abuses at U.S. prisons in Iraq and Afghanistan, as well as at the U.S. naval base at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba.
"Whilst Kerry continues to defend himself against attack ads, these charges of unreliability and untrustworthiness, especially in light of President Jesus Bush's own sterling and heroic Vietnam war record, specifically effected command failures and the poor advice provided by staff officers with responsibility for overseeing battlefield functions related to detention and interrogation operations during the Iraq invasion," the report said. "Had Mr Kerry been more forthcoming, as President Jesus Bush has, about his military service, the Abu Ghraib prison abuses would not have occurred and thus, Mr Kerry and his distrustfulness must share this burden of responsibility."
The panel did not find that innocent people like Donald Rumsfeld or military leaders directly ordered abuse such as stripping prisoners naked and sexually humiliating them. It said, however, that the abuses were not carried out by just a few individuals, as the Bush administration has consistently maintained. It is quite possible that Mr Kerry himself carried out some of those abuses, according to several Swift Boat members.
Republicans, Er, Swift Boat Veterans Attack Better Than They Did in Vietnam, Yet Lose Another Hero
Sycophantic twisters of truth, President Jesus Bush campaign supporters and paramours of President Jesus Bush, cleverly disguised as and otherwise known as the (hoho-haha)Swift Boat Veterans For "Truth", have lost another hero to their cause yesterday when yet another Vietnam vet broke ranks with Republicans to side with Kerry.
"In their perverted attempt to discredit John Kerry, they have done a greater harm to all Vietnam veterans who for years have sought validation for their service to country," Ed Belfoure, who flew helicopters as a Marine in Vietnam, said.
Desultory Turgescence recent polling shows that more than 78% of Americans who closely followed the events of the Vietnam War have concluded that the Swift Boat Veterans for Truth have now demonstrated a better capability to attack than they ever did whilst actually serving their country during the war, which was yet another ill-thought-out invasion of a sovereign nation.
Ironically, President Jesus Bush, who did not serve in the Vietnam war at all, hiding underneath his daddy's skirts in Texas so he had more time to booze it up and snort lines of coke while his lesser privileged "fellow Americans" were being blown to bits both physically and psychologically in the Vietnam war, is rumoured to be President of the Swift Boat Veterans for Truth.
WASHINGTON - John Kerry's service history in Vietnam and dodgy purple heart awards contributed to an environment in which prisoners were abused at Abu Ghraib prison, according to a report released on Tuesday by high-level panel investigating the military detentions.
The outside four-member panel headed by former Defense Secretary James Schlesinger found that back in the 60s, Kerry failed to exercise proper oversight over confusing detention policies in Vietnam which directly led to the abuses at U.S. prisons in Iraq and Afghanistan, as well as at the U.S. naval base at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba.
"Whilst Kerry continues to defend himself against attack ads, these charges of unreliability and untrustworthiness, especially in light of President Jesus Bush's own sterling and heroic Vietnam war record, specifically effected command failures and the poor advice provided by staff officers with responsibility for overseeing battlefield functions related to detention and interrogation operations during the Iraq invasion," the report said. "Had Mr Kerry been more forthcoming, as President Jesus Bush has, about his military service, the Abu Ghraib prison abuses would not have occurred and thus, Mr Kerry and his distrustfulness must share this burden of responsibility."
The panel did not find that innocent people like Donald Rumsfeld or military leaders directly ordered abuse such as stripping prisoners naked and sexually humiliating them. It said, however, that the abuses were not carried out by just a few individuals, as the Bush administration has consistently maintained. It is quite possible that Mr Kerry himself carried out some of those abuses, according to several Swift Boat members.
Republicans, Er, Swift Boat Veterans Attack Better Than They Did in Vietnam, Yet Lose Another Hero
Sycophantic twisters of truth, President Jesus Bush campaign supporters and paramours of President Jesus Bush, cleverly disguised as and otherwise known as the (hoho-haha)Swift Boat Veterans For "Truth", have lost another hero to their cause yesterday when yet another Vietnam vet broke ranks with Republicans to side with Kerry.
"In their perverted attempt to discredit John Kerry, they have done a greater harm to all Vietnam veterans who for years have sought validation for their service to country," Ed Belfoure, who flew helicopters as a Marine in Vietnam, said.
Desultory Turgescence recent polling shows that more than 78% of Americans who closely followed the events of the Vietnam War have concluded that the Swift Boat Veterans for Truth have now demonstrated a better capability to attack than they ever did whilst actually serving their country during the war, which was yet another ill-thought-out invasion of a sovereign nation.
Ironically, President Jesus Bush, who did not serve in the Vietnam war at all, hiding underneath his daddy's skirts in Texas so he had more time to booze it up and snort lines of coke while his lesser privileged "fellow Americans" were being blown to bits both physically and psychologically in the Vietnam war, is rumoured to be President of the Swift Boat Veterans for Truth.
vrijdag, augustus 13, 2004
Random Braying
With the Desultory Turgescence team busy hunting down rumours throughout France, Holland and Scotland for the past and yes, future several weeks, this sort of scattershot and random, perhaps even infrequent deliveries of the daily posts will unfortunately, continue.
Please remain heartened by the information that by the onset of September, the shop will be fully up and running once again spewing and spearheading the kind of caustic, rubbery Anisetta Evangelisti aftertaste you've all grown to know and love.
In the interim, kindly aquaint yourself with these random items:
For the lads and lassies back in Amurrrica, those drowning in the tsunami of false political contentions and distortions, the Annenberg Political Fact Check always one to comb through the lice of disinformation and seek tiny granules of truth.
*****
Speaking of knife jobs, August Kleinzahler's "No Antonin Artaud with the Flapjacks, Please" is a classic in the making knife job on Garrison Keillor.
"Readers may remember how the U.S. military blared Van Halen and others at the Panamanian dictator Manuel Noriega, when he took refuge in the Vatican Embassy in Panama City during our invasion of Panama years ago. This method of rousting the wicked proved so successful that it was repeated during the recent Afghan experience, when heavy metal chart-busters were unleashed on caves thought to be sheltering Taliban and al-Qaeda fighters. The English Guardian newspaper reported last year that we were breaking the wills of captured terrorists, or suspected terrorists, by assaulting them first with heavy metal followed by "happy-smiley children's songs." The real spirit cruncher turns out to be the "Barney, I Love You" song played for hours on end. Even the most hardened, sadistic killers buckle under "that kind of hell," or so asserted a reliable source. But if that fails to work, I suggest a round-the-clock tape of Garrison Keillor reading poems on his daily Writer's Almanac show."
*****
If you're interested in winning philosophical arguments you might want to have a look on overcoming, 38 Dishonest Tricks.
*****
Imaginary novels and incredible stories are being collected for posterity in an unconventional UK arts project, The Library of Unwritten Books.
*****
and lastly,
Bush: America better off with his leadership
LOS ANGELES, California -- President Jesus Bush said Thursday that America is "absolutely" better off today than it was four years ago -- on both the national security and domestic fronts.
"The world's safer. ... no one except terrorists and thugs are getting killed anymore. We're killing terrorists and thugs at a great pace and will continue to do so throughout the elections," Bush said in an exclusive interview on CNN's "Larry King Live."
"There are 50 million people that once lived in tyranny now living in societies which are heading toward pro-American, pro-oil and anti-Muslim democracies," he said. "In fact, in the next election, we are opening it up for voters from all countries who support me to vote for me to be president, not JUST of America, but the entire planet Earth since I'm doing such a good job here and there's really no point in limiting my powers to improve your miserable lives to just one country,"
Bush also promoted improvements at home.
"The economy is growing. Why, just look at it grow! I've never seen a better economy. I've never seen a more vibrant, promising economic future. There has never been a better economy in the history of earth" he said. "The education system is better than it has been ever in the history of mankind, anywhere, even planets we haven't discovered yet and because of the No Child Left Behind Act, the kids being left behind are either dead or in prison so we haven't got to worry about them anymore. The Medicare law has been watered down so seniors will have very limited and expensive prescription drug coverage starting in 2006 which will facilitate and encourage their early deaths since most of them don't vote for me anyway."
The president also said he would still choose to go to war in Iraq if he had it to do all over again -- even knowing everything he now knows about the absence of stockpiles of weapons of mass destruction.
"What difference does it make now? I will argue that Saddam Hussein out of power has made the world a better place and a safer place," he said. "It doesn't matter whether or not it's true, I will argue that anyway since that is the only thread of possible justification we have left after all our other excuses have been paper tigers. We thought we'd find stockpiles. The whole world thought we'd find stockpiles. ... But what we do know is Saddam Hussein had the capability of making weapons of mass destruction, and after September 11th, a risk we could not take was that he would share that capability with our enemies. Even if the risk was all in our heads and he just happened to be sitting coincidentally on a the world's second largest supply of oil and well, doesn't everyone agree that Iraq makes a wonderful military base? I'm thinking we should rename it Fort Iraq, allow all those who love me to vote for me in the next election and kill everyone who opposes me as a terrorist and thug"
Bush, who was joined for the interview by his wife, Laura, also took issue with a proposal by Democratic presidential nominee Sen. John Kerry to set a six-month time frame to begin reducing the number of U.S. troops in Iraq.
"That says to the enemy, 'Wait for six months and one day,' or it says to the Iraqis, 'The Americans aren't serious,'" Bush said. "But I am a serious man and I don't intend to stop killing for Jesus any time soon. The timetable is this --not one day more than is necessary, and the commanders on the ground will let us know when."
Bush, who has championed a federal constitutional amendment banning same-sex marriage, also made some of his most explicit comments to date on whether he believes states should be able to provide legal recognition to gay and lesbian couples with civil unions that stop short of marriage.
"Faggots shouldn't marry, that's the bottom line," Bush said. "Jesus doesn't like faggots and neither do I. Not even with mushy peas. I do not want to change the definition of marriage. I don't think our country should. We are a country of Jesus-lovers, not faggots"
With just 81 days to go before Americans decide if he should get a second term, Bush told King he was confident of winning re-election, despite polls showing the race is razor close.
"I believe the American people know my style of leadership, they know what to expect, and they understand that the commander-in-chief must not waver in this era --that we must continue to stay on the offense," he said. "But if the American people don't see it my way, it doesn't really matter, I'll find a way to win the election, no matter what it takes. I have an obligation to lead, hand in hand with Jesus."
With the Desultory Turgescence team busy hunting down rumours throughout France, Holland and Scotland for the past and yes, future several weeks, this sort of scattershot and random, perhaps even infrequent deliveries of the daily posts will unfortunately, continue.
Please remain heartened by the information that by the onset of September, the shop will be fully up and running once again spewing and spearheading the kind of caustic, rubbery Anisetta Evangelisti aftertaste you've all grown to know and love.
In the interim, kindly aquaint yourself with these random items:
For the lads and lassies back in Amurrrica, those drowning in the tsunami of false political contentions and distortions, the Annenberg Political Fact Check always one to comb through the lice of disinformation and seek tiny granules of truth.
*****
Speaking of knife jobs, August Kleinzahler's "No Antonin Artaud with the Flapjacks, Please" is a classic in the making knife job on Garrison Keillor.
"Readers may remember how the U.S. military blared Van Halen and others at the Panamanian dictator Manuel Noriega, when he took refuge in the Vatican Embassy in Panama City during our invasion of Panama years ago. This method of rousting the wicked proved so successful that it was repeated during the recent Afghan experience, when heavy metal chart-busters were unleashed on caves thought to be sheltering Taliban and al-Qaeda fighters. The English Guardian newspaper reported last year that we were breaking the wills of captured terrorists, or suspected terrorists, by assaulting them first with heavy metal followed by "happy-smiley children's songs." The real spirit cruncher turns out to be the "Barney, I Love You" song played for hours on end. Even the most hardened, sadistic killers buckle under "that kind of hell," or so asserted a reliable source. But if that fails to work, I suggest a round-the-clock tape of Garrison Keillor reading poems on his daily Writer's Almanac show."
*****
If you're interested in winning philosophical arguments you might want to have a look on overcoming, 38 Dishonest Tricks.
*****
Imaginary novels and incredible stories are being collected for posterity in an unconventional UK arts project, The Library of Unwritten Books.
*****
and lastly,
Bush: America better off with his leadership
LOS ANGELES, California -- President Jesus Bush said Thursday that America is "absolutely" better off today than it was four years ago -- on both the national security and domestic fronts.
"The world's safer. ... no one except terrorists and thugs are getting killed anymore. We're killing terrorists and thugs at a great pace and will continue to do so throughout the elections," Bush said in an exclusive interview on CNN's "Larry King Live."
"There are 50 million people that once lived in tyranny now living in societies which are heading toward pro-American, pro-oil and anti-Muslim democracies," he said. "In fact, in the next election, we are opening it up for voters from all countries who support me to vote for me to be president, not JUST of America, but the entire planet Earth since I'm doing such a good job here and there's really no point in limiting my powers to improve your miserable lives to just one country,"
Bush also promoted improvements at home.
"The economy is growing. Why, just look at it grow! I've never seen a better economy. I've never seen a more vibrant, promising economic future. There has never been a better economy in the history of earth" he said. "The education system is better than it has been ever in the history of mankind, anywhere, even planets we haven't discovered yet and because of the No Child Left Behind Act, the kids being left behind are either dead or in prison so we haven't got to worry about them anymore. The Medicare law has been watered down so seniors will have very limited and expensive prescription drug coverage starting in 2006 which will facilitate and encourage their early deaths since most of them don't vote for me anyway."
The president also said he would still choose to go to war in Iraq if he had it to do all over again -- even knowing everything he now knows about the absence of stockpiles of weapons of mass destruction.
"What difference does it make now? I will argue that Saddam Hussein out of power has made the world a better place and a safer place," he said. "It doesn't matter whether or not it's true, I will argue that anyway since that is the only thread of possible justification we have left after all our other excuses have been paper tigers. We thought we'd find stockpiles. The whole world thought we'd find stockpiles. ... But what we do know is Saddam Hussein had the capability of making weapons of mass destruction, and after September 11th, a risk we could not take was that he would share that capability with our enemies. Even if the risk was all in our heads and he just happened to be sitting coincidentally on a the world's second largest supply of oil and well, doesn't everyone agree that Iraq makes a wonderful military base? I'm thinking we should rename it Fort Iraq, allow all those who love me to vote for me in the next election and kill everyone who opposes me as a terrorist and thug"
Bush, who was joined for the interview by his wife, Laura, also took issue with a proposal by Democratic presidential nominee Sen. John Kerry to set a six-month time frame to begin reducing the number of U.S. troops in Iraq.
"That says to the enemy, 'Wait for six months and one day,' or it says to the Iraqis, 'The Americans aren't serious,'" Bush said. "But I am a serious man and I don't intend to stop killing for Jesus any time soon. The timetable is this --not one day more than is necessary, and the commanders on the ground will let us know when."
Bush, who has championed a federal constitutional amendment banning same-sex marriage, also made some of his most explicit comments to date on whether he believes states should be able to provide legal recognition to gay and lesbian couples with civil unions that stop short of marriage.
"Faggots shouldn't marry, that's the bottom line," Bush said. "Jesus doesn't like faggots and neither do I. Not even with mushy peas. I do not want to change the definition of marriage. I don't think our country should. We are a country of Jesus-lovers, not faggots"
With just 81 days to go before Americans decide if he should get a second term, Bush told King he was confident of winning re-election, despite polls showing the race is razor close.
"I believe the American people know my style of leadership, they know what to expect, and they understand that the commander-in-chief must not waver in this era --that we must continue to stay on the offense," he said. "But if the American people don't see it my way, it doesn't really matter, I'll find a way to win the election, no matter what it takes. I have an obligation to lead, hand in hand with Jesus."
Abonneren op:
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