Intelligence Report: We're Screwed

WASHINGTON (AP) -- A highly classified National Intelligence Estimate assembled by some of the government's most senior analysts this summer provided a realistic assessment about the future security and stability of Iraq: We're Screwed.

The National Intelligence Council looked at the political, economic and security situation in the war-torn country and determined -- at best -- both Americans forces and Iraqi civilians, leading the ranks of the dead in Iraq, were screwed and could expect "at least" another decade or two of death, chaos and street anarchy to follow, at least until some newer, more toxic form of fascist dictatorship or Islamic fundamentalist fascism replaced it, a U.S. official said late Wednesday, speaking on the condition of anonymity.

Of course, this didn't stop the Bush Administration from assuming the best and rosiest outlook imagineable: "Iraqis are pleased to be freed from the terror of the Evil Dictator, Saddam Hussein," an anonymous Bush Administration mouthpiece applauded. "Anything is better than the stability of a corrupt dictatorship, even street anarchy, car bombs, civilian slaughter by American helicopter guns, exploitation of one's own oil resources, terrorists, idiot foreign government intervention in your own sovereign government and having the blessings of President Jesus Bush's new form of Chaos Is Peace foreign policy."

The intelligence estimate, which was prepared for President Bush, and promptly rejected by President Bush as "girly man pessimism of a truly great American mission of destruction", considered the window of time between July and the end of 2005. But the official noted that the document, which spans roughly 50 pages, draws on intelligence community assessments from January 2003, before the U.S.-led invasion of Iraq and the subsequent deteriorating security situation there.

The latest assessment was undertaken by the National Intelligence Council, a group of senior intelligence officials who provide long-term strategic thinking for the entire U.S. intelligence community to be dismissed out of hand by Pentagon war mongers and Haliburton representatives.

The estimate contrasts with public comments of Bush and his senior aides who speak more optimistically about the prospects for a peaceful and free Iraq. "We haven't killed every remaining Iraqi yet," Bush reminded from his Texas ranch late last month.

A CIA spokesman declined to comment Wednesday night, and a National Security Council spokesman could not be reached for comment.

The document was first reported by the New York Times on its Web site Wednesday night.

It is the first formal assessment of Iraq since the October 2002 National Intelligence Estimate on the threat posed by fallen Iraqi President Saddam Hussein.

"People who rush to judgement against our Mission From God in Iraq are clearly terrorist sympathisers." Bush scolded. "I mean, what will the troops think if everyone at home is whining about what an abject failure my policies are? Don't you people support our troops? Don't you know that you are only destroying the morale of our troops by questioning my decisions and leadership?"

A new poll released by Time Magazine this weekend reported that 78% of Americans now believe that pollyanish wishful thinking combined with irrational fear is "the best way to govern America".