dinsdag, december 16, 2003

WMDs of the Mind
"Whenever I'm caught between two evils, I take the one I've never tried." --Mae West

Not that this comes as shocking news but from the horse's mouth, Saddam himself, on the topic of WMDs, says: "No, of course not. The US dreamt them up itself to have a reason to go to war with us."

Chris Bunting quoting an article in Time quoting an unnamed intelligence officer.

While it is noted with glee that Saddam was captured without resistance, which to Big Brave Jesus Christ Bush, is akin to cowardice (as Bush should well know, having fought in SO many battles himself - jeez, the battle against booze, the battle against cocaine addiction, the battle against stupidity - all resolved through Jesus Christ. In any case, it should be pointed out that Saddam was captured in the same area back in 1959 and refused to resist even back then. Had he fought it out and died in a gun battle in 1959, who would have been around to be the pawn in Jesus Bush's little make Dick Cheney's oil-rich mates, hmmmm?

I've looked it up but apparently, there is no true, grassroots FrEE SADDAM! websites popping up just yet. Trust me lambs, it's only a matter of time.

Meanwhile, Howard Dean, leading candidate to unseat President Jesus, declared that "the capture of Saddam Hussein has not made America safer."

"The difficulties and tragedies which we have faced in Iraq show the administration launched the war in the wrong way, at the wrong time, with inadequate planning, insufficient help, and at the extraordinary cost, so far, of $166 billion..."

What do you think, will the word spider hole become the mot de passe for the exclusive rights into the Not-So-Secret Club of "I Told You So?"

Salam Pax says of the capture:

"I want a fully functioning Saddam who will sit on a chair in front of a TV camera for 10 hours everyday and tells us what exactly happened the last 30 years. I do not care about the fair trial thing Amnesty Int. is worried about and I don'r really care much about the fact that the Iraqi judges might not be fullt qualified, we all know he should rot in hell. but what I do care about is that he gets a public trial because I want to hear all the untold stories.

Sure to be a big pitstop for nonstop tourist attractions: To creep and crawl inside Saddam's Lair:

"He had food, of course - tins of cheap luncheon meat and fresh fruit - and I found his last books in a hut nearby: the philosophical works of Ibn Khaldun, the religious - and pro-Shi'ite - doctrines of the Abassid theorist Imam al-Shafei, and a heap of volumes of Arab poetry.

There were cassettes of Arabic songs and some cheap pictures, of sheep at sunset and Noah's Ark crowded with animals.

But this was no resistance headquarters, no place from which to run a war or start an insurgency."

Pity. For more on the implausibility of Saddam directing the anti-Amurrrrican campaign from a series of holes in the ground:

"There is no doubt that the gloating in both the White House and the media will continue for many days to come. Having demonized Hussein as the equal of Hitler, his apprehension is treated as a milestone in the birth of a “free” and “democratic” Iraq. This interpretation of events evades a number of inconvenient questions.

The first was posed by a reporter at the press conference held at the headquarters of the Coalition Provisional Authority in Baghdad to announce the capture. “Was it possible to run the guerrilla war from a hole underground,” he asked.

The answer is clearly no: Saddam Hussein was not some mastermind coordinating attacks that have risen recently to the level of 55 a day across the entire territory of Iraq. He was a hunted individual, apparently moving from place to place and preoccupied with his own survival. US military sources noted that no communications equipment, even cell phones, were found with Hussein and two companions.

One Good Move suggests that Saddam looks alot like Dennis Miller. Maybe so, but Saddam is certainly funnier.

And finally, for some perspective on the matters of the day, The Spoof has the exclusive comments of Saddam on his currents state of health:

“You know, I feel good. I’ve been working out and watching what I eat and eight months on the run can really melt the pounds off. I’m showered and shaved and ready to meet with my old friend and ally George Bush Sr. I have some things to say to him about his son. That kid is a snot.”

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