woensdag, januari 28, 2009

Best Hostels Money Can Buy

The best hostels guide is out and the top two are in Lisboa. One guess where this Spring's next travel destination is going to be.

*****

Why Hungarians tell the best jokes

“Istvan, please stand up and tell us what Marxist criticism and self-criticism means,” she instructs.

The little boy stands up. “Comrade teacher, Marxist criticism is how we must view my parents, who joined the reactionary counter-revolutionary forces who sought to destroy our heroic workers’ and peasants’ state, and then fled to the imperialist, capitalist west, to continue their intrigues against the Socialist regime.”

“Excellent, Istvan. And what is your Marxist self-criticism?”

“I didn’t go with them.”

The second is set on May Day in Budapest, as the Hungarian armed forces parade past the communist leaders. There is an impressive array of tanks, missiles, armoured cars, and soldiers marching in their best uniforms.

The communist leaders stand impassively as the soldiers and their vehicles pass by. Then, right at the end comes a battered old open truck, sputtering exhaust as it carries three fat middle-aged men in badly fitting grey suits. An apparatchik turns to the defence minister and asks, “Who are they?”

“That’s our
secret weapon,” says the minister. “Economists from the Ministry of Planning.”

*****

The Caviar Left and the Caustic Cynic

Houellebecq replies by acknowledging his “misanthropic apathy”, and noting that his “desire to antagonize conceals an insane desire to please”, to be loved warts, and all: “I don’t wish to be loved in spite of what is worst in me, but because of what is worst in me”. Houellebecq also contrasts his own bleak outlook with Lévy’s humanitarian concern for victims: “In a case of war I would be among those who will have fought very little, and badly . . . those who are indifferent to the fate of democracy, the Free French, Chechnya or the Basque country . . . . I am among the legions of people who endure History, and are basically only interested in what concerns them or their loved ones directly. I find it extremely unpleasant to think that the selfish and cowardly course I stick to should make me more likeable in the eyes of my contemporaries than you, who are advocating heroism”. The clash between the philosopher’s worthy, wordy prose and the novelist’s wry, world-weary style is well brought out in this exchange.


*****

Too Early for Beer So Have a Heineken

from the Facebook group I bet i can find 1,000,000 people who dislike Heineken

De drie directeurs van Maes, Heineken en Jupiler nemen elke ochtend om 10 over 7 de trein naar het werk. Op een zekere ochtend is er een vertraging en ze besluiten samen iets te gaan drinken. Ze stappen een café binnen waar ze meer dan 120 verschillende bieren hebben. De directeur van Maes roept : "Patron, drie Maeskes alstublieft." Nadat hun glas leeg is, roept de directeur van Heineken: "Hallo, barman, kan jij ons nog effe drie Heinekens serveren alsjeblief." Nadat deze uit zijn, is het de beurt aan de directeur van Jupiler: "Patron, drie Heineken alstublieft!" De directeurs van Maes en Heineken schrikken op en kijken elkaar verwonderd aan. Plots zegt die van Heineken: "Man, hoe kan dat nu ? Je bent directeur van Jupiler en je bestelt drie Heineken ? "Wel, ja," zegt de directeur van Jupiler, op zijn uurwerk kijkend, "'t Is nog wat vroeg om bier te drinken !"

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