Zit Bread

From the "in case you missed this vital information" Department, a report by Dr. Loren Cordain, an evolutionary biologist in Colorado State University shows that teenagers who eat refined white bread run a far greater risk of suffering from acne than those who eat a diet of what they describe as “naturally produced bread”.

In fact, even the BBC reported that eating too much bread in general may trigger acne in teenagers.

Scientist Paul Stitt takes it a step further with his impassioned claim that "White bread is slightly better than living on candy bars and soda pop. ...it's an absolute crime against humanity when you intentionally make food products that...you know are going to make people sick, are going to make them operate inefficiently and feel lousy and create all kinds of health problems down the road."

As this new war on white bread gains momentum, there is no word yet on the report that teenagers who eat black bread score lower on their SATs than those who eat white bread nor that those eating black bread are 23% more inclined to need institutional long-term care by the age of 33.