Bush Rape Rap

Paula Jones, Step Aside. Dubya Sprouts A Monica

Don't look now sportsfans but in what might be construed by many Conservative casuists as a bit of speculative puffery, Pravda reports that an American woman named Margie Schoedinger filed a sex crime lawsuit against our Fearless Leader, George W. Bush.

The allegation claims that "In her suit, Margie Schoedinger states that George W. Bush committed sexual crimes against her, organized harassment and moral pressure on her, her family members and close relatives and friends. As Schoedinger said, she was strongly recommended to keep her mouth shut. In addition to that, three unknown men attempted to kidnap her on October 26, 2000.

Margie Schoedinger further alleges that both she and her husband were drugged after she was raped. She can only state that “those men purported to be FBI agents raping her for the purpose of covering for how many times they had drugged her and allowed the Defendant (George W. Bush) to rape her in the same manner.” (?)

As a result of all that, pregnant Margie Schoedinger was hospitalized. She had a miscarriage. As she says, George W. Bush was the father of the lost child. Furthermore, she alleges that George Bush attempted to pressure her to the point of commiting suicide. Margie Schoedinger’s husband was fired from work. Her husband has been unable to find any job since then. He does not get the federal unemployment allowance either. Later, Margie Schoedinger learned that both police officers and FBI agents acted like that at the behest of the defendant, incumbent President George W. Bush.

The Sugar Land police decided to conduct a background investigation into Margie Schoedinger’s past activities. As it turned out, she “had seven dates, (which then became seven lovers), had told no lies, committed no crimes, gotten two traffic tickets and dated George W. Bush as a minor.”

Kook? Delusionalist? Who knows. This is how Paula Jones got her start. This is how they all start out. Creepy and weird, before blowing into full proportion.

Who knows, maybe it was all a mistake. Maybe later she might recall that while it wasn't actually President Bush who raped her, a "mysterious" and "belabored" Senator from Mississippi was seen fleeing from the scene shortly thereafter.