Pssst. Dubya, I Found Your First Targets

Just when I thought people in the world couldn't demonstrate their collective stupidity any more clearly than they already have, I came across a news item from CBC about four Canadians who have gone or plan to go to Iraq to act as human shields against bomb attacks on Baghdad. These four martyrs to a supreme cause of imbecility, sponsored by an anti-war organization called Voices in the Wilderness (not called, as you might have imagined, Voices of The Imbalanced), have volunteered to be human shields in an effort to dissuade American-led forces from attacking Iraq.

Volunteered to be human shields in Iraq. Good one.

Irene Vandas, one of the enlightened, in case you are interested, claims she is thinks it "will be a powerful experience." I'll say. There's not much more powerful than a cluster bomb being dropped on your head. Personally, I want a scorecard to go along with this news. How much longer will these four people be around to potentially breed? Who is the lucky bombardier who gets to drop that fateful package? Are all four of them going to be human shielding in the same location or are they going to spread themselves out throughout Iraq? The Colorado Campaign For Middle East Peace has a nice scorecard.

I'm not really "for" this war on Iraq either, primarily because I think we should be spending all our time and money killing every last terrorist who is currently targeting us before we worry about Saddam's soldiers overturning baby human incubators in Kuwait or gassing Kurds in his own country or some fictional nuclear weapons capability Iraq supposedly has. But frankly, volunteering to be a human shield in Iraq is a little over the edge. I doubt the sanity of these people who clearly have nothing and no one to live for themselves.

Lest you think these morons are alone, even the most cursory search I did turned up another collection of idiots faster than you can bomb them, nor is it the first time activitists openly deactivating their self-preservation drives.

I've decided I want to rent some of these people. I'll take them with me on my next crack purchase in Harlem, Spanish Harlem or Washington Heights. I'll pick fights with mobsters, insult their mothers and then stick one of these idiots in the path of the bullets. I'll shoot at cops and grab a human shield. Rob banks and grab a human shield. I'll assign them to my seat on any airplane I have to fly taking off from airports with poorly secured perimeters. I'll give them to Israelis when they want to go shopping or have a smoke and a quick drink in a cafe. The possibilities are unlimited. All I'll need is a few more idiots to replace them.