Crowds Hope For Easter Blessing From Terri Schiavo

Pilgrims and tourists headed to Terri Schiavo's hopsice on Easter Day in hopes that though ailing she would be strong enough, despite nine days without food or water, to appear to the crowds and deliver an Easter Sunday blessing.

For the first time since the Florida Supreme Court dismissed a request from the parents' attorney to have their daughter's feeding tube reinserted, both the Pope and Terri Schiavo were skipping Easter Sunday Mass at midmorning.

The Pope is skipping out because he continues his convalescence following two recent hospitalizations for breathing crises and Terri Schiavo can't make it because doctors do not expect Schiavo to live beyond next Friday so there are more pressing matters on her mind, like damn, I wish I had a Big Mac.

The Vatican said the legal fight to prolong the 41-year-old woman's life is drawing to an end and that that since surgeons inserted a tube in John Paul's throat to help him breathe, the pontiff has uttered only a few words in public.

Odd, isn't it? In Florida, the doctors removed tubes from a 41-year-old woman in a vegetative state in order to starve her to death, not to keep her alive, and in the Vatican, the doctors are inserted tubes to help the Pope breath and keep him alive.

Let that be a lesson kids. If you want decent medical attention, it's better to be the Pope.