maandag, februari 16, 2004

The Burning Question for this week is raised by One Thousand Reasons:

George Bush: Idiot or War Criminal?

Jeez, must we decide one way or the other? Why not both?


Look kids, this year's new definition of futility. My suggestion is that everyone who jumped on this little bandwagon now go home and write a Thank You card for Mr Dean and perhaps even send him an absentee Valentine. Jesus Christ, Howie. Give up the ghost already.


Spent our own Valentine's Day in the nether bits of St Ives and checking out the local Spingo. Hardly the nadir of romanticism but it had nothing on these mass lovers.


Speaking of romance, there was a little bit of news that managed to weep its way into the subconscious this weekend and that was the predictable palaver over Alex Polier. Forgive me, but if you look at this mug you just don't get the overwhelming impression of sexual hijinks. Let's face it. Kerry doesn't strike anyone as a very sexual man. The fact that ANYONE would sleep with him, let alone have an affair with him, well that just tells you the state of American politicians these days. Besides, wasn't the old line of the Democratic campaign "I dated Dean but married Kerry"?, not, "I fucked the entirety of the White House press pool but had an affair with Kerry"?...just wondering...besides, it's already been officially condemned by President Jesus Bush who says he won't comment on Kerry's Godless Fornicating Ways.

Maybe someone should write about the big scandal of how many times a talentless clusterfuck like Matt Drudge masturbates every day, hmmm? Or is he still having frustrated wet dreams about his menstral cycle? Christ, it must be gratifying to make a living off of shadenfreude. A real journalist, Matt Drudge.


I looked up Google's zeitgeist and was certainly not surprised to find ricin and Valentine's Day topping the charts. After all, if these two terms don't go hand in hand, which do?

What shocked me however, was to find that Tara Dakides made the list.

If you're like me, you're wondering to yourself, who the fuck is Tara Dakides and why are people looking her up? Another intern gone astray? Another lurid ratings scam designed to hoodwink the somnambulist American public into believing intern fucking is more terrible than country fucking? The thing that I disapprove of, wholeheartedly in fact, on a stack of Gutenberg bibles, no less, is that Tara Dakides, who is pretty ugly as far as American female snowboarders go, gets away with having a nickname like Terrorizer. Isn't that word banned from the American language except in cases where President Jesus Bush or his lackies and their subsidiaries need to use it to justify pilfering the public good? Just curious. Maybe Matt Drudge will unleash a scandal announcing Tara Dakides Fucked Her 12 Year Old Snowboard Polisher but then again, the Am I Annoying vote probably steals all Mr Drudge's thunder.

For the record, I voted yes, she is annoying. Aren't all female snowboarders annoying? Get a REAL life, Tara. Start your own soiled scandal sheet on the internet like my hero, Matt Drudge.

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