zondag, februari 08, 2004

45 Minutes And Counting

In a lovely touch of revisionist history, Lapdog Tony Blair admitted that he had asked the Commons to approve the war against Iraq without knowing that the 45-minute claim in the Downing Street dossier referred only to battlefield weapons. Although Geoff Hoon, the Defence Secretary, and Robin Cook, the former Foreign Secretary, were aware at the time that the claim did not refer to long-range weapons, he did not, Mr Blair told a Conservative MP in the Commons. Imagine that. How do you dance yourself into a corner where the only possible conclusions one could draw is that you are incredibly stupid or an incorrigible liar who sent the sons and daughters of the country you lead to useless death?

Fifty-one percent of British voters want Prime Minister Tony Blair to resign and 54 percent believe he lied to the nation over the threat posed by Saddam Hussein, according to a poll published by the Independent newspaper's Saturday edition.

"Given what you know now, do you think Tony Blair lied to the nation over the threat posed by Iraq?" 54 percent responded "yes" and 31 percent said "no" with the rest "undecided".

In other words, The 45 minute case collpses -- Tony Blair was sent three intelligence reports in the six months during the run up to the Iraq war, including one that warned him that information on whether Saddam Hussein still held any chemical or biological weapons was "inconsistent" and "sparse".

Jeez, wouldn't it have been cool if the case had collapsed the minute B.liar tried on his first pair of Presidential Jesus Bush panties and dressed up like a swashbuckling doer of good and eliminator of evil, to sway the nation into a dance of war?

*****

By amazing coincidence, about 45 minutes after George Bush expressed his disappointment and concern and shock and awe that there are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq and said he too, like all good, Jesus-lovin' Amurricans, wants to know the facts about how they could have been so fucking stupid, Lapdog Blair was on his knees, drooling and pledging his allegiance the notion that this is all a big fucking shock and Lucy, you got some 'splainin' to do!

*****

In another invasion of Truth, President Jesus Bush made the unprecedented move on appearing on Meet The Press. Asked by Tim Russert, the host of "Meet the Press," whether the war was worth 530 American lives and thousands of injuries even though inspectors have found no stockpiles of banned weapons in Iraq, Mr. Bush said it was "essential that I explain this properly to the parents of those who lost their lives." (C'mon kiddies, sing along with the President: "Saddam is baaaaaaad! Bush is gooooood!")

Saddam Hussein, the former Iraqi leader, "was dangerous, and I'm not just going to leave him in power and trust a madman," Mr. Bush said. WHY NOT??? America trusts a madman! America let a madman and his monkey circus of oily murderers into power! Let's let every country have their own MADMAN! Let's recreate the geographic features of the Earth so that when it is looked at from space, you can see nothing but the face of a Madman! That'll scare all the aliens to stay away from us! I want to know the truth why there aren't more madmen in the world! Earth Needs Madmen!

*****

And now that everyone is coming out of the woodwork expressing their amazement that the no one could conjure up WMDs, you've also got to wonder why Colin Powell hasn't resigned in humiliation, first of all, for making idiotic statements to the UN about non-existent weapons of mass destruction and being laughed at for the absurdist presentation he made and secondly, if that weren't enough, to have to stand there now and say he isn't sure he'd have supported the invasion if he had known Iraq didn't have stockpiles of banned weapons.

"Oh, if only I had know!" he wailed with his failed satellite photographs and dressed in his favourite "Jesus Bush is Always Right!" teeshirt and matching baseball cap:

If Only You Knew

I can lift you with my heart
Give you meaning every day
Cannot live without your truth

And be the true me
To be the true you

Pick the flowers from your floor
Put them in your arms for you my love
Realise my life and more

Say you will 'n' then

Take me home
Make me clear
It feels so much better
Take me home
To this heart of hearts

If only you knew
You caught me when I was falling
Yes you caught me when I was falling fast

And only you knew
You answered me when I was calling you
You saw me when I was dreaming you
Into my life

Everyone who looks at you
Sees the loving in your every move
You're the healing of the soul

To be the true you
To be the true me

I will be your strength all time
Ever wishing you this love and more
Forever be your guiding song

Say you will and then

Take me home
Make me clear
To feel so much better
In this life
In your heart of hearts

If only you knew
How you caught me when I was falling
Yes you caught me when I was falling fast

And only you knew
You answered me when I was calling you
You saw me when I was dreaming you
Into my life

When I feel the hurt in so many peoples' lives
I take a deep breath and think of your smile your eyes

When I hear the sadness of this earthtime
Then I take a deep breath and know that you understand
That you understand

And only you knew
How you caught me when I was falling fast
Caught me when I was falling fast

If only you knew
How you answered me when I was calling you
You saw me when I was dreaming you

If only you knew
Yes you caught me when I was falling fast
You caught me when I was falling
Into your life


Poor Mr Powell. If only he knew. (Janet Jackson was going to flash a tit during the Super Bowl.)

*****

All the shock and awe in JesusLand about a Super Bowl single tit, which reminds one of the old slogan: martinis are like a women's breasts: two are perfect, three is just too many". --- indeed. Imagine if Janet's top had been ripped off by Justin Twit-in-lake to expose not one, but THREE alien breasts housing all of Saddam's weapons of mass destruction, firing missiles at the crowd, exploding breast milk like a water cannon at the players' team benches, while Michael Jackson interfered with a feisty Donald Rumsfeld in between sleeping on the fifty yard line with everyone under 10 years old in the stadium. Filthy, Sadistic and Criminal Invasion of the Jacksons! By criminy, we'd be running for the aisles, our three D glasses ripped from the front of our faces in terror, we would!

*****

Bush Family Values: War, Wealth, Oil

******

Desultory Turgescence Poem of the Morning:

Saturday Afternoon In The Fountains

We both had the same
zero-sum game dream
suddenly awry simultaneously
cut losses won and worn
like a pike wears a head.

Gimme back my Empire,
there's already too many irons in the fire,
Gimme Pax Americana in fiefdoms
of McDonaldland franchises.

We both wore the same haircuts
and gave the same salutes to mannequins
we saw standing around doing nothing
because based on their hunches,
we were lost.

We both wanted the same oligopoly:
control of all the pay toilets along the interstate,
rigorous enforcement, with pesticides, if necessary,
of the law of supply and demand.

Gimme back my Empire,
down to its lowest common denominator,
Gimme a colony of irrefutable evidence,
and oxygen masks for the sunset ahead.

We both ate sand and spit up a universe of stars.
Everthing was created around us. A comlexity
of ice cream flavors and shopping market shelves
shaved down to choirs singing the same jingle
we both sang to ourselves until the lights went out.

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