Mets Exalt The State of Metness

Glavine Not Impressed

With Mike Vaccaro's post in today's NY Post, finally there is a dissenting voice to join me on the issue of Glavinsanity in New York.

He's in town today, being serenaded, fawned over and bootlicked by Mets officials. To begin with, money aside, Glavine said over a week ago that he wanted to know whom the Mets pitching coach will be and speak to that person, and manager Art Howe, before he would make a decision about signing with the team. In fact, Clifton, Glavine's agent, told us all a week ago when this courtship first began in earnest, that "Tom told him (Wilpon) it was an important issue and Fred told him that it would be resolved relatively quickly." Now, a week later, the question still begs an answer: Who is the Mets pitching coach? No one knows because there isn't one yet! So why are the Mets courting Tom Glavine when Tom Glavine said it was (naturally) important he'd know who the hell his pitching coach would be before he signed up somewhere and since that time, the Mets still don't have a pitching coach? What if he signed on and then the Mets hire some jester like Bob Cluck who San Francisco Chronicle sportswriter Glenn Dickey called "perhaps the worst pitching coach I've ever known".

You know, Glavine's off tonight to Philly to take the grand tour and be romanced by the Phillies braintrust. Tonight he's going to watch the Flyers' game against San Jose tonight at the First Union Center. The Flyers are in first place, the Rangers are in third, with a losing record. Guess that's why the Mets didn't take Glavine to no stinkin Rangers game. Maybe they could have taken him to a Knicks game. Let him soak in the frivolity that is New York sports these days. And how did the Mets start their campaign with Glavine? Come to us, the second best baseball team in New York? Or maybe they could unveil the magnificent Shea Stadium to Mr. Glavine. Take him to that chivalric orange and blue fortification, show him the giant apple, tell him about the alchohol-free seating and the baby diaper changing stations. Maybe give him one of his very own audio VU meter to measure the decibal level of planes flying over the pitcher's mound from La Guardia.

To hell with the Phillies. Have any of their players been to kneel before the pope in the Vatican audience hall, kiss the pope's ring and present him with a Mets baseball cap like Mike Piazza did? No. I didn't think so. Are the Phillies going to beautiful, sunny San Juan, Puerto Rico to play the Expos in April? No, didn't think so.

It isn't that I even want Tom Glavine to pitch for the Mets. I just hate to see how little the Mets have to offer in comparison to a team like the Philadelphia Phillies for crissakes. We don't have a new stadium to brag about. We don't have Allen Iverson and his loud, gun-toting possee to brag about. We just have Latrell Sprewell punching the side of his yacht and breaking his hand.

Well, Tom Glavine is welcome to go to Philadelphia or, better still, stay in Atlanta with that staggering school system and pitch either of them into oblivion. Even though the Mets don't even have a pitching coach yet and half the team is staggering at the nadir of their careers, that's precisely what will make it all the more Amazin' when they stagger back into the post season next year.