zondag, januari 09, 2005

Krazy Kim Strikes Again
"People who wear other's style of dress and live in other's style will become fools and that nation will come to ruin." --Nodong Sinmun newspaper

You have to give General Kim Jong Il credit, not even the Christian nutters that litter the ideology of the Bush Administration have spoken out against long hair yet, but North Korea, having discovered the enemy within, are now making an effort to kill it.

That enemy is bad haircuts.

Pyongyang television started the campaign against long hair last autumn with a five-part series in its regular TV Common Sense programme.

The programme allowed men aged over 50 seven centimetres of upper hair to cover balding.

It stressed the "negative effects" of long hair on "human intelligence development", noting that long hair "consumes a great deal of nutrition" and could thus rob the brain of energy.

Men should get a haircut every 15 days, it recommended.

The North Korean Barbers Union is said to be ecstatic.


Someone with FAR too much free time on their hands decided to dial the infamous 867-5309 number of "Jenny" using all the area codes of America. via Fimoculous


Fancy yourself a linguist? Have a go at reading the News in Spanglés via the ever-enticing growabrain.


Happy to find yet another confrère in the War on Celine Dion. The Best Page In the Universe says: "I didn't think it was possible for me to hate Celine Dion anymore than I already did until I saw the cover of her newest album and accompanying calendar for the modern "grrrl power" super-bitch who finds solace in Dion's brash self-righteous smuggery. Alas, I used some restraint and narrowed the list down to eleven."

Here they are:


Religious Nutters Spring From Their Pods In England

Bad enough that the anti-Evolutionist, pickup-driving, white-hood-wearing, anti-sex-and-nudity-spewing, Bush-loving, gay-bashing, freedom-of-speech-defying, hate-mongering right wing lunatic fringe of Christians have destroyed America, now their filthy tentacles have wriggled their way into the BBC as they piss and moan about the BBC's screening of Jerry Springer - The Opera offending their fragile little religious sensibilities with a little sex, foul language and blasphemy.

Of course, as is the case with all religious freaks, it wasn't sufficient to simply exorcise a little democratic privilege of protest, they deemed it necessary to threaten BBC staff as well for good measure. What's next Fatwas for Jesus?

A BBC spokesman has told Reuters "BBC staff and their families have received a significant number of abusive and threatening telephone calls, some of which have been reported to the police as criminal matters."

Numerous calls were made to top executives and some were answered by their children. The corporation is now intercepting the calls before they reach the excutives homes.

The more rational and freedom of speech-loving National Secular Society defended the BBC's right to screen the programme, urging the BBC not to give in to "religious bullies".

Vice-president Terry Sanderson said: "This organised attack is the latest of a series of attempts by religious interests to control what we can see or say in this country."

Desultory Turgescence believes that all fundamentalists of all religious denominations should be beheaded. That way they won't have to hear or see any offensive images or words ever again and their delicate sensitivities won't be violated any more.

Praise Jesus.

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