HAIL TO THE CREEP

Clap hands everyone! President Jesus Bush is back on track, fresh from holidays, cherubic hue to his terrorist-killing cheeks, ready to do the business for the American people once again.

As a demonstration of his gratitude for the support he has been regaled with, President Bush began the ceremonies of inauguration with the first annual Parade of the Abused and Humiliated Naked Iraqi Prisoners.

Thousands of naked Iraqi terrorists were frog-marched down Pennsylvania Avenue as a marching band played "Bring It On" in a folksy paen to the the goodness of democracy and Jesus Christ today whilst the World's Favourite President was officially coronated as new Emperial Ruler of All That Is Good And Destroyer of All That Is Bad.

The infallibility of the American Way was much on offer for onlookers today as a three day long Bible study continued and thousands of women fainted at the mere site of their beloved leader.

In commemoration of the goodness of the task at hand, the inaugural DICK CHENEY FOUNTAIN OF OIL officially replaced the water fountain currently in front of the White House whilst a chorus of monkees were able to sing "Gay Marriage Is Our Enemy" in order to save themselves from the annual Monkey Feast as they were chased around the White House lawn by surrogates of the Administration.

"This is more beautiful than the birth of my child!" gushed a recently lobotomised intern as she helped strip Iraqi prisoners for the parade. "I knew it was going to be fun, but I never imagined it would be THIS much fun!"

Trillions of people were on hand to hear President Jesus Bush tell them over and over again that their billions of tax dollars were doing the work of God.

"Praise Jesus and pass the missiles!" the President shouted with a bullhorn as he practiced a pyramid of male cheerleaders forming a giant Jesus Fish in the middle of Lafayette Park.

The celebration was punctuated with artificial fireworks meant to symbolise the triumph of first world over third world militias and the defeat of Muslims by Christians in the New World of Jesus-Loving.

"Americans will thank me," President Bush predicted as he shoved his two daughters into abortion clinics and yanked away their bottles of whiskey. "For making the world a better place to live in."