Disappearing Democrats

CNN reports that the Texas Department of Public Safety posted a bulletin Monday on its Web site -- the same one used to alert citizens to missing children and wanted criminals -- asking for help in locating 53 Texas House Democrats "who have disappeared."

The Texas House was back in session Tuesday, but it remained paralyzed by a Democratic walkout that prompted state officials to post a political version of the Amber Alert.

More than 50 House Democrats were holed up in a motel across the state line in Ardmore, Oklahoma, out of reach of state police, whom the House's Republican majority has ordered to bring them back to Austin. The Democrats are hoping to thwart what they call an "undemocratic, unjust, and unprecedented" GOP redistricting plan that could cost them five seats in Congress.

Republican Gov. Rick Perry called the walkout "cowardly and childish," and Craddick said the walkout will make a special session to pass a state budget likely.

"These members were elected to do a job. Hiding out in another state, evading DPS and the Texas Rangers, jeopardizing vital programs and standing up constituents who come to call is inexcusable," Craddick said in a Monday statement. "These 53 Democrats need to get back to Austin and get to work."

Texas Democratic Party chairwoman Molly Beth Malcolm called the rebelling Democrats "heroes."

I can't figure out which is more indicative of our times: that the Republicans sent the Department of Public Safety and the Texas Rangers to hunt down the missing Democrats or that the Democrats had to run away to Oklahoma to avoid capture.

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Last week when Our Fearless Leader, on the heels of his gallant fighter pilot charade on board the aircraft carrier Abraham Lincoln, made a visit to California's Silicon Valley. The purpose wasn't to visit the high-tech industry for a morale boost but instead, to rush into the arms of certain, loving supporters at the United Defense Industries.

As Tim Shorrock notes in his recent article Hubris Unbound, United Defense is majority-owned and controlled by the Carlyle Group, the Washington, DC, merchant bank in which, SURPRISESURPRISE, Bush's father, George H.W. Bush, has a direct financial interest and serves as a trusted adviser. Yet the American public was kept in the dark about this relationship by the newspaper of record, along with the Washington Post, CNN and every other major media outlet.

Note however, in yet another hilarious distortion of truth and reality, Chris Ullman, Carlyle's vice president for corporate communications, rejected the idea that because Bush the Elder's relationship with a huge defense lobby group is a clear conflict of interest, he should resign his post as an adviser to the Carlyle Group. "Former President Bush's relationship with his son has nothing to do with Carlyle or our investments," he said in an e-mail. "The former president does not discuss Carlyle matters with his son; the success of our firm rests on the hard work of our investment professionals."

Good one. Bush the Elder and his son are probably too busy spending their free time talking about the dark side of the presidential family, Neil Bush's marital infidelities, cigarette boats and why everyone Bush the Younger insists will be "hunted down" ends up uncaptured and sending periodic messages promoting international terrorism. Bush the Younger is no hunter, let's face it. He's more of a gatherer.

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The Al-Madina regional branch of the Saudi religious and morality police, formally known as "The Authority for the Promotion of Virtue and Prevention of Vices," recently launched its new website. The site posts news items, citizens' violations, and includes a section that allows citizens to inform anonymously on persons they suspect of violating religious and moral laws. Almost sounds like they're getting their advise from John Ashcroft's Citizen Spy Army.

Warning: 'That Barbie Doll is Jewish!'

Another section of the website, the "Exhibit of Violations," displays confiscated items from the "permanent collection of violations of Islamic law at Authority headquarters in Al-Madina." The section shows photos of perfume bottles shaped like a woman's torso, with text reading: "Perfume, but…! Examples of perfumes with good fragrances for women and evil bottles that harm the honor of the woman and undermine her morality. We must beware. The Prophet Muhammad said, 'Any woman who wears perfume and passes by people so they can smell it is a whore…'" Also shown is a photo of several Barbie dolls, along with the text: "The enemies of Islam want to invade us with all possible means, and therefore they have circulated among us this doll, which spreads deterioration of values and moral degeneracy among our girls." On the photo, under the heading "The Jewish Doll," is a story titled "The Strange Request." The story reads: "One girl said to her mother: 'Mother, I want jeans and a shirt open at the top, like Barbie's!!' The dolls of the Jewish Barbie in her naked garb [sic], their disgraceful appearance, and their various accessories are a symbol of the dissolution of values in the West. We must fully comprehend the danger in them."

Sounds like Congress and Ashcroft had better get busy, there are alot of naked Barbies out there to burn. Save America! Kill Barbie!