A Cry For Help From Across Iraq Where Life Is Already Better
"Across most of Iraq, life is already better." Ambassador L. Paul Bremer III, the senior Coalition official in Iraq, addressing the Iraqi people yesterday

DEAR FRIEND,

THROUGH THE COURTESY OF A LOOTING OPPORTUNITY, I TAKE LIBERTY ANCHORED ON A STRONG DESIRE TO SOLICIT YOUR ASSISTANCE ON THIS MUTUALLY BENEFICIAL AND RISK FREE TRANSACTION WHICH I HOPE YOU WILL GIVE YOUR URGENT ATTENTION.

I AM MR. SADDAM HUSSEIN. I AM MOVED TO WRITE YOU THIS LETTER,THIS WAS IN CONFIDENCE CONSIDERING OUR PRESENT CIRCUMSTANCE AND SITUATION, (EATING GARBAGE IN THE STREETS OF BAGHDAD TO STAY ALIVE, FENDING OFF LOOTERS AND MURDERERS WHO ROAM THE STREETS LIKE YOUR AMERICAN SERIAL KILLERS IN SEARCH OF VICTIMS), I ESCAPED WITH MY WIVES AND MY TWO SONS, UDAY AND QUSAY OUT OF OUR BOMBED-OUT UNDERGROUND PALACE TO PARADISE STREET WHERE WE ARE PRESENTLY RESIDING IN UNMITIGATED TERROR BETWEEN THE LOOTERS AND THE TRIGGER-HAPPY AMERICAN MILITIA.

DUE TO THIS SITUATION I DECIDED TO CHANGE MOST OF MY 950 MILLION DOLLARS DEPOSITED IN A LEBANESE BANK AND VARIOUS PALACES IN AND AROUND BAGHDAD INTO OTHER FORMS OF MONEY CODED FOR SAFE PURPOSE BECAUSE AMERICAN TREASURY OFFICIALS ARE TRYING TO EITHER STEAL OR FREEZE ALL MY TREASURES DEPOSITED IN SOME PALACES, HENCE I AND MY WIVES ALONG WITH MY SONS, DECIDED TO LAY LOW IN BAGHDAD TO STUDY THE SITUATION TILL WHEN THINGS GETS BETTER.

SINCE PRESIDENT BUSH HAS TAKEN OVER OUR COUNTRY AND AMERICAN IMPERIALIST FORCES HAVE OVERRUN OUR SAFE HAVENS ONE OF MY CHATEAUX IN SOUTHERN FRANCE WAS CONFISCATED BY THE AMERICAN GOVERNMENT, AND AS SUCH WE HAD TO CHANGE OUR IDENTITY SO
THAT OUR INVESTMENT WILL NOT BE TRACED AND CONFISCATED. I HAVE DEPOSITED THE SUM OF NINE HUNDRED MILLION, FIVE HUNDRED
THOUSAND UNITED STATES DOLLARS (US$900,500,000) WITH A SECURITY COMPANY FOR SAFEKEEPING. THE FUNDS ARE SECURITY CODED TO PREVENT THEM FROM KNOWING THE ACTUAL CONTENTS.

WHAT I WANT YOU TO DO NOW IS TO INDICATE YOUR INTEREST THAT YOU WILL ASSIST ME AND MY IMMEDIATE FAMILY BY RECEIVING THE
MONEY ON OUR BEHALF AND USING IT TO OVERTHROW THE INVADING FORCES OF YANKEE IMPERIALIST PIGS AND THIEVES BEFORE THEY STEAL EVERY LAST DROP OF OIL FROM OUR COUNTRY AND THEN LEAVE US IN RUINS AND IN THE HANDS OF MURDEROUS SHIA RELIGIOUS HOOLIGANS IN ORDER TO HAVE THE AMERICAN TROOPS HOME IN TIME FOR THE NEXT PRESIDENTIAL ELECTIONS.

THE ACCOUNT REQUIRED FOR THIS PROJECT CAN EITHER BE PERSONAL, COMPANY OR AN OFFSHORE ACCOUNT THAT YOU HAVE TOTAL CONTROL OVER, YOUR AREA OF SPECIALIZATION WILL NOT BE A HINDRANCE TO THE SUCCESSFUL EXECUTION OF THIS TRANSACTION.

ACKNOWLEDGE THIS MESSAGE, SO THAT I CAN INTRODUCE YOU TO MY FAMILY AS OUR FOREIGN TRUSTED PARTNER WHO SHALL TAKE CHARGE OF
OUR INVESTMENT ABROAD WHERE WE NOW PLAN TO SETTLE. I WANT YOU TO ASSIST US IN INVESTING THIS MONEY, BUT I WILL NOT WANT OUR IDENTITY REVEALED. I WILL ALSO WANT TO BUY PROPERTIES AND STOCKS IN MULTI-NATIONAL COMPANIES AND TO ENGAGE IN OTHER SAFE AND NON SPECULATIVE INVESTMENTS. I WILL ALSO WANT TO BUY AS MANY WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION AS I CAN GET MY HANDS ON.

WE HAVE BEEN THROUGH A LOT OF HEALTH AND SPIRITUAL TURMOIL, HENCE WILL NEED YOUR UNDERSTANDING AND ASSISTANCE.

MAY I AT THIS POINT EMPHASIZE THE HIGH LEVEL OF CONFIDENTIALITY WHICH THIS BUSINESS DEMANDS AND HOPE YOU WILL NOT BETRAY THE TRUST AND CONFIDENCE WHICH WE REPOSE IN YOU. I SHALL PUT YOU IN THE PICTURE OF THIS BUSINESS, I'LL TELL YOU WHERE THE FUNDS ARE CURRENTLY BEING MAINTAINED AND ALSO DISCUSS OTHER MODALITIES INCLUDING REMUNERATION FOR YOUR SERVICES.

I SHALL INFORM YOU WITH THE NEXT LINE OF ACTION AS SOON AS I RECEIVE YOUR POSITIVE RESPONSE. IS THIS PROPOSITION ATTAINABLE? IF IT IS,PLEASE KINDLY FURNISH ME IMMEDIATELY BY E-MAIL WITH YOUR DIRECT TELEPHONE AND FAX NUMBERS TO ENHANCE THE CONFIDENTIALITY WHICH THIS BUSINESS DEMANDS.

BEST REGARDS
MR.SADDAM HUSSEIN
PLEASE REPLY TO MY PRIVATE EMAIL BELOW.

sexysaddam@yahoo.com