Bush Reveals The Earth Is Flat



(image via Parapolitics

In an interview at the White House on Monday with a group of Texas newspaper reporters, President Jesus Bush appeared to endorse the old and seemingly disproven theory that the world is flat.

Recalling his days as Texas governor, Bush said in the interview, according to a transcript, "I felt that even though hundreds of years of history would show otherwise, we should be letting our children know that in reality, the world is flat." Asked again by a reporter whether he believed that both sides in the debate between the earth being flat and not being flat were right, Bush replied that he did, "and just because school textbooks debunk the world is flat theory doesn't mean it can't be true."

Bush was pressed as to whether he accepted the view that the flatness of the earth was revealed to him in a secret conversation with God, he did not directly answer. "I think that part of education is to expose people to different schools of thought," he said, adding that it's quite possible that terrorist-loving Democrats had created the whole round earth theory simply to discredit God and to keep people from getting to scared of falling off the edge of the earth.

On Tuesday, the president's conservative Christian supporters and the leading institute advancing flat earth theories embraced Bush's comments, while scientists and advocates of the round earth theory disparaged them. At the White House, where the flatness of earth has been discussed in a weekly Bible study group, Bush's science adviser, John Marburger III, sought to play down the president's remarks as common sense and old news.

Marburger said in a telephone interview that "although every picture taken of earth from space makes the earth appear circular, the truth of the matter is, this has always been little more than a Democrat photoshopping conspiracy" and "if Democrats believe the earth is round, the earth must logically be flat because the Democrats are wrong about everything." Marburger also said that Bush's remarks should be interpreted to mean that the president believes that the fact of the earth being flat, not round, should be discussed as part of the "core curriculum" in science classes.

Bush also noted later in a speech to demonstrate the truth of the earth being flat that "A quarter is a flat object. However, if you spin a quarter on its axis, the shadow made by a light overhead is in the shape of a circle.

Suppose that the earth is flat, as per our initial hypothesis. Now suppose that the earth is in constant motion. In fact, it is widely acknowledged that the earth is spinning at the tremendous rate of approximately 1000 miles per hour. Given these assmptions, what shape shadow should the earth cast upon the moon during a lunar eclipse? Clearly, the earth should cast a circular shadow!