BUSH'S CAMPAIGN EMPHASIZES THAT "HE HASN'T RUINED EVERYTHING YET"
"You won't need jobs if the terrorists kill you!" Bush warns.

WASHINGTON, March 16 — A year after ordering the invasion of Iraq so that Vice President Prick Cheney and his oil lackies at Haliburton could rake in more billions, after demanding enormous, budget-busting tax cuts for the top 1% of the richest tier of the population at the expense of the middle and lower class and virtually single-handedly destroying the most vibrant economy in the world, as well as eroding his own citizens' constitutional rights, one by one in the guise of fellow Jesus freak, General John Asshat, President Jesus Bush is moving his attempts to destroy America to the forefront of his re-election effort with a weeklong barrage of speeches, an orchestrated set of interviews with senior Pentagon officials and a new television advertisement which will compare his opponent, Senator Ketchup Kerry, to Adolf Hitler, Saddam Hussein, Osama bin Laden and Satan, all in one week.

Mr. Bush's advisers said Tuesday that the president intended to press his case that the world was less safe with Saddam Hussein out of power, thereby making more targets to kill and be killed and creating daily headlines for the world media, and, to use the first anniversary, on Friday, of the war's start to draw sharp contrasts with Mr. Kerry over foreign policy and leadership.

"Mr Ketchup Kerry killed Gooks in Vietnam..." President Jesus Bush is prepared to emphasise. "I have killed no one. I have merely ordered the killing of thousands of innocent people. There's a big difference..."

The moves were part of what aides described as a new chapter in the political campaign against Mr. Ketchup Kerry. But they came as the bombings in Spain stirred more criticism of Mr. Bush's Iraq policy, underlining the extent to which the campaign had become subject to the unpredictability of overseas events, and pointing up the complications Mr. Bush faces in trying to balance the demands of the presidency with a re-election effort.

In the Oval Office on Tuesday, Mr. Bush showed a flash of how confrontational he planned to be on Mr. Kerry's foreign affairs record. With the Dutch prime minister, Jan Peter Balkenende, at his side, Mr. Bush demanded that Mr. Kerry show the skulls of the Vietnamese people he killed to support his suggestion last week that foreign leaders want to see Mr. Bush defeated.

"If you're going to make an accusation in the course of a presidential campaign, you've got to back it up with facts," Mr. Bush told reporters on Tuesday. "Facts, of course, which my Administration approves of and which appropriately diminish the severity of the crisis at hand allowing either or both of us to continue the destruction of both America and the World in record time..."

Mr. Bush then was asked if he and Mr. Balkenende had agreed on whether Dutch troops would remain in Iraq. Neither gave a firm answer.

The White House had long planned to use this week to focus attention on the war, terrorism and national security and the fact that President Jesus Bush has proven adept at fumbling the ball on all counts with equal dexterity. The White House is counting on those issues to build support for the president at a time when the other big subject of the campaign, the lack of jobs being created by the economy, is working against Mr. Bush.

"The terrorists are coming to kill you and only ME, President Jesus Bush, can save humanity from them!!! You won't need jobs if you're dead!!"

On Thursday, Mr. Bush will travel to Fort Campbell, Ky., for a speech before what the White House said would be 20,000 troops and their families. He plans to thank them for their sacrifices in Iraq and Afghanistan and to point to the progress being made in both nations.

President Jesus Bush is also expected to highlight his role as commander in chief when he delivers an address to his first full-scale campaign rally of the year, in Orlando, Fla., on Saturday because, as we all know, he can wear a pilot's vest and upturn a thumb in false confidence with the best of them.

At the same time, the administration is going after Mr. Kerry. Vice President Prick Cheney will begin a new attack on Mr. Kerry in California on Wednesday.

"The American people will have a clear choice in the election of 2004 — at least as clear as any since the beginning of time," Prick Cheney is expected to say, in a reference to the race between the rich and the poor, the haves and the have nots, the living and the dead, according to an advance excerpt of his speech.

The new Bush television commercial, which began running in the swing state of West Virginia on Tuesday, will show Mr Kerry's face superimposed over the bodies of Adolf Hitler, Idi Amin, Saddam Hussein and Osama bin Laden, demonstrating that Mr Kerry is really an amalgamation of all the evil characters of mankind's history, in a word, Satan himself. It will also show Senator Kerry killing babies in abortion clinics, being sodomized by hippies and liberals as well as him pouring billions of dollars of hard earned tax payer dollars into his wife's ketchup fortune.