BUSH DEFENDS RESPONSE TO THREATS OF TERRORISM

NASHUA, N.H., March 25 -- President Jesus Bush sought Thursday to knock down allegations that the administration was inattentive to the threat posed by al Qaeda before the Sept. 11, 2001, attacks, saying he would have "used every asset, every resource, every power of this government" to prevent the terrorist hijackings if it weren't for the "more pressing" concerns of Shadow Halliburton CEO Vice President Prick Cheney and his subsidiary Kellogg, Brown and Root.

"It bothers me that thousands of Americans died and billions of dollars were spent in the subsequent effort to hand over an Iraq which Mr Cheney and his subsidiaries would be able to exloit with minimum amount of investment and effort," the President explained with a shrug of his massive, terrorist-fighting shoulders.

Bush made his most extensive statements yet about the controversy that has swirled for several days, since his former chief counterterrorism adviser, Richard A. Clarke began selling his new book in earnest and portrayed the president as unfocused on the terrorist network and unduly preoccupied with Iraq. Clarke gave the critique in a new book and in testimony Wednesday before a federal commission that is examining the 2001 attacks.

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America's God, America's Pledge:
No Atheists Allowed in Government

Dr. Newdow, a nonpracticing lawyer who makes his living as an emergency room doctor engaged in repartee with Supreme Court Justices yesterday during his argument for why the daily recitation of the Pledge of Allegiance in his daughter's public school classroom violates the Constitution as long as the pledge contains the words "under God."

When Dr. Newdow described "under God" as a divisive addition to the pledge, Chief Justice William H. Rehnquist asked him what the vote in Congress had been 50 years ago when the phrase was inserted.

The vote was unanimous, Dr. Newdow said.

"Well, that doesn't sound divisive," the chief justice observed.

Dr. Newdow shot back, "That's only because no atheist can get elected to public office."

One justice, the infamously biased Antonin Scalia, who was seen leaving the court hand-in-hand with his lover, Vice President Prick Cheney, was sharply critical of the appeals court's ruling in a speech he gave before the case reached the Supreme Court.

As a result, Dr. Newdow asked Justice Scalia to recuse himself, and the justice complied. "President Jesus Bush is the only leader this country will ever need and we should all pledge allegiance to President Jesus Bush if we are true patriots!" he screamed, before being dragged out of the Supreme Court in leg irons and a leather corset.

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Songs in My Head Series:

Clint Eastwood
Gorillaz

I ain't happy, I'm feeling glad
I got sunshine, in a bag
I'm useless, but not for long
The future is coming on
I ain't happy, I'm feeling glad
I got sunshine, in a bag
I'm useless, but not for long
The future is coming on
It's coming on
It's coming on
It's coming on

Yeah... Ha Ha!
Finally someone let me out of my cage
Now, time for me is nothing cos I'm counting no age
Now I couldn't be there
Now you shouldn't be scared
I'm good at repairs
And I'm under each snare
Intangible
Bet you didn't think so I command you to
Panoramic view
Look I'll make it all manageable
Pick and choose
Sit and lose
All you different crews
Chicks and dudes
Who you think is really kickin' tunes?
Picture you gettin' down in a picture tube
Like you lit the fuse
You think it's fictional
Mystical? Maybe
Spiritual
Hearable
What appears in you is a clearer view cos you're too crazy
Lifeless
To know the definition for what life is
Priceless
For you because I put you on the hype shit
You like it?
Gunsmokin' righteous with one token
Psychic among those
Possess you with one go

I ain't happy, I'm feeling glad
I got sunshine, in a bag
I'm useless, but not for long
The future is coming on
I ain't happy, I'm feeling glad
I got sunshine, in a bag
I'm useless, but not for long
The future is coming on
It's coming on
It's coming on
It's coming on

The essence the basics
Without it you make it
Allow me to make this
Child, like in nature
Rhythm
You have it or you don't that's a fallacy
I'm in them
Every sprouting tree
Every child apiece
Every cloud you see
You see with your eyes
I see destruction and demise
Corruption in disguise
From this fuckin' enterprise
Now I'm sucking to your lies
Through Russ, though not his muscles but the percussion he provides
With me as a guide
But y'all can see me now cos you don't see with your eye
You perceive with your mind
That's the inner
So I'm gonna stick around with Russ and be a mentor
With a few rhymes so mother fuckers
Remember where the thought is
I brought all this
So you can survive when law is lawless
Feelings, sensations that you thought were dead
No squealing, remember
(that it's all in your head)

I ain't happy, I'm feeling glad
I got sunshine, in a bag
I'm useless, but not for long
The future is coming on
I ain't happy, I'm feeling glad
I got sunshine, in a bag
I'm useless, but not for long
My future is coming on
It's coming on
It's coming on
It's coming on
It's coming on
My future is coming on
It's coming on
It's coming on
It's coming on
It's coming on
My future is coming on
It's coming on
It's coming on
It's coming on
It's coming on
My future is coming on
It's coming on
It's coming on
My future is coming on
It's coming on
It's coming on
My future is coming on
It's coming on
It's coming on
My future