maandag, oktober 20, 2003

Blaine Returns To Earth

"DAVID BLAINE is back on earth. At 10pm precisely, the 30-year-old New Yorker was lowered in his 7ft by 7ft by 3ft Perspex box by the crane from which it had dangled for the past 44 days. As he stepped out he burst into tears.

Calm in his goldfish bowl, against the dramatic backdrop of the floodlit Tower of London and Tower Bridge — he could not have picked a more spectacular setting — Blaine smiled down beatifically at the waiting throng below."

Of course, FAR more interesting than watching this nutter hang suspended in a box, was the hostility he generated. People threw threw eggs, golf balls and beer bottles at him, had gay people throwing sausages at him, taunted him by grilling meats below him as he fasted, had hamburgers flown by remote control helicopter to tease, bared their breasts, taunted him about his dead mother, etc. Maybe people were just upset about the excessive traffic-tie ups caused by David Blaine gawkers at the Tower Bridge.

*****

For Halloween, the Osama masks are outselling the Saddam masks, much to DT's bitter disappointment. After all, the scariest costume in the world must be the face wearing the dreaded Dubya masks.

Considering that we'll be celebrating Halloween at Black Swan in Henley in Arden, perhaps an I'm Fighting For Whitey! mask would be more appropriate.

*****

Are exams really that hard at NYU? After the first two library suicides maybe it's time to reassess the students themselves rather than the balcony barriers. After all, only 18% thought that NYU beats prison.

*****

From the Why Can't This Happen To Dubya Department:

Tony Blair underwent treatment at the Hammersmith Hospital in West London, where he was admitted earlier in the day after feeling unwell. It was revealed that the British Prime Minister suffered from an irregular heartbeat and will follow doctor's orders to rest today. Oh, right. You have to have a heart before you can have a heart scare.


*****

Meanwhile, disaster was averted as Birmingham City fans called a truce against Turkish villan and Aston Villa player Alpay. Game time was moved to an unsightly noon on Sunday making the hours-long pregame drinking ritual impossible and thereby avoiding a greater degree of violence than usual. For shame.

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