Bush and Cheeta the Chimp Defy The Norm
Chimpanzees in the wild tend to live for 40 to 45 years and to the mid 50s in captivity, according to chimpanzee researchers.
While Bush has already celebrated his 55th birthday, Tarzan's Cheeta's Life as a Retired Movie Star continues to flourish. The 71-year-old Cheeta, the chimpanzee of Tarzan fame who celebrated his birthday a month ago.
"He, not George Bush, is the world's oldest chimp and in excellent condition," said Dan Westfall, who cares for Cheeta and several other retired showbiz primates at the Cheeta Primate Foundation in Palm Springs. Cheeta's "world's oldest" title is noted in the Guinness Book of World Records.
US Justice Department Directive #1, If You Can't Catch The "Real" Criminal, Arrest Someone Else And Cause A Big Media Stir So That To The General American Public Who Isn't Really Paying Attention To Anything Beyond Headlines, It "Looks" Like You Caught Him
Reminiscent of a few weeks ago when the hysterically incorrect spin was launched to make it seem like the US Government had arrested a dangerous terrorist with missiles when it reality they'd arrested a guy who wanted to buy fake missiles from fake terrorists, they are at it yet again.
That's right. Instead of capturing the person(s) responsible for created and dispersing the internet virus that caused problems for MILLIONS of computers around the world, the FBI makes a big splash announcing the "capture" of Jeffrey Parson, a teenage kid from Minnesota who did indeed created an Internet computer worm, but one which affected a mere 7,000 computers.
Normally, such an arrest should be celebrated. Any jerk creating an internet computer worm should be arrested and at least have a few fingers amputated.
But all the hoopla and hype creates the illusion that the FBI actually did their jobs.
Once again, as we have seen while Osama bin Laden runs free, planning new horrors, and has a secret life, as we note when we note that for all of President Bush's blustery and adolesescent posturing and threatening, Saddam Hussein is still spotted more often than Elvis (even if the school books of Iraqi schoolchildren aren't), the clownish yet frightfully underachieving Bush Administration never gets the right guy.
But they are good at creating a giant media spin that makes it seem like they've actually captured somebody important.
Too bad Osama bin Laden or Saddam or the person(s) who REALLY created the internet computer virus isn't a cartoonist. The FBI is very good at investigating cartoonists like the poor bastard who drew this.
Some people think Bush is a blasphemer and heretic.
You know, they've got a website to Impeach Bush and a website to recall Bush but why isn't there a website yet to OVERTHROW BUSH?
It's not as though this is a legitimate government anyway.
If you want to try your hand at fighting terror and know you can do a better job than the stiff upper lips and the bumbling, criminally incompetent jackasses in the Bush Administration, here you can look how to fight The War On Terror